10 Albums that Survived the Grunge Era

I like to read other blogs about metal. I got the idea for this one from Metal Martyr. Here is the link: http://www.metalmartyr.com/10-metal-albums-that-survived-the-grunge-era/

This is an interesting topic for me because I was just beginning to discover metal during the grunge era. I remember a lot of my friends and my older brother being really into Nirvana and Pearl Jam. I liked those bands okay but my particular favorite grunge bands were the decidedly more metal Alice in Chains and Soundgarden. I wore a lot of flannel shirts which were kind of considered the "grunge style" where I was from, but my music tastes definitely were not grunge. Other than AiC and SG, I never owned an album by any of the grunge bands. I was much more into metal. Here are some albums that were new in the years 1992-1995 that I enjoyed.

Black Sabbath: Cross Purposes
I have mentioned this album in a previous post of Dusting Off a Cassette. This is a very strong album featuring great songs, good riffs, and Tony Martin's powerful, yet underrated vocals.

Cannibal Corpse: Tomb of the Mutilated
One of the first well-known Cannibal Corpse albums. The band appeared in a cameo scene on Ace Ventura and their popularity skyrocketed. This album featured the song "Hammer Smashed Face" from the movie.

Corrosion of Conformity: Deliverance
Southern-fried metal with a hardcore tinge to it. I fell in love with this album when I first heard it and I still love it to this day. Nothing the band released since has come close to this one, although their earlier material is very interesting.

Down: NOLA
Well-known now, but at the time this was a curiosity band featuring members of Pantera, Corrosion of Conformity, Crowbar, and Eyehategod. The riffs were heavy, the songs were memorable and this side project actually became a major force in the metal world. I saw them last fall in concert and they slayed.

Machine Head: Burn My Eyes
Capitalizing on the Pantera groove metal phenomenon, Machine Head rose from the ashes of Vio-Lence. Their first album is one of the better examples of groove metal to date. They would unfortunately move towards nu metal, then metalcore, and now thrash showing that they really do not have their own sound but change based on the current trend.

Megadeth: Youthanasia
Definitely not at the same level as their earlier works but an improvement on Countdown to Extinction. Megadeth regained some of their more thrash influences on this release and had one of their biggest hits "A Tout Le Monde".

Morbid Angel: Covenant
A surprisingly successful album for a death metal album on a major label. This is one of Morbid Angel's better albums by far. I was exposed to this band for the first time when the video for "God of Emptiness" appeared on Beavis and Butthead. The video freaked me out and I desperately wanted to hear more.

Pantera: Far Beyond Driven
I'm not a huge Pantera fan, especially of their groove metal material, but this was a great album with one bad song on it. Pantera proved that metal was still viable during the grunge era.

Testament: Low
One of the better Testament albums. This one occurred after they lost their lead guitarist and stopped trying to be Metallica. A great album with some brutal moments in it. This was my first extreme metal album.

Type O Negative: Bloody Kisses
I remember distinctly seeing a video for this band before I had heard much from them. I remember the singer/bassist Peter Steele holding a string bass in his arms like a guitar and thinking "that guy is fucking huge!". This one seemed forbidden because of the cover picture of two women nuzzling together with their mouths open after kissing, the song titles such as "Kill All the White People", and the opening track featuring a woman having an orgasm. I still love this album, even for all its quirks. Gothic metal has never sounded so good or bleak. This is the band's masterpiece.

Dusting Off a Cassette Pt. 8: Napalm Death: Fear, Emptiness, Despair

I'm not overly familiar with grindcore. I know that it got an initial push in England in the mid 1980's when Napalm Death, Carcass, and Bolt Thrower all developed. It is a form of extreme hardcore music and is not based in metal. However, many grindcore bands started to incorporate death metal influences. Each of the pioneers listed above added death metal riffs to their sound and gradually each one became more of a death metal band than a grindcore band. Only Napalm Death went back a little bit and became death/grind.

Napalm Death itself is an odd band since none of the original members are still with the band. Original singer Lee Dorrian decided he didn't want to play hardcore so he left and formed the doom metal band Cathedral. The current singer Barney Greenway used to be in UK death metal band Benediction. Original guitarist Justin Broadrick left to form Godflesh and then Jesu. The other original members all formed other hardcore acts or in one sad case, died.

Anyway onto the album. Since I don't know much about grindcore, I cannot speculate whether this is a good example or not. To me it sounds more death metal influenced than grindcore, and I am okay with that. I like this album although it is not well-respected among Napalm Death fans. The album opens strongly with "Twist the Knife (Slowly)" and we are off to the races from there. The band never lets up in the entire album. It is grinding riff after grinding riff after grinding riff.

This is the only Napalm Death album I own, and I might be willing to check out some other stuff based on it.

Metal Magazine Review Pt. 2 of 4: Metal Hammer is Really Boring

I have recovered from my aneurysm and can now move the left side of my body again. Time to dig back into this today. Okay, I just need to stretch first and clear my mind. I had a copy of this my first year of college and was not impressed, they were pretty big on nu metal back then and Slipknot was on the cover. Okay, I am ready to tackle this bitch.

CD +15: I like free CDs, I like them even more when they are worthwhile. This one is devoted to the so-called New Wave of Traditional Metal, which despite being a completely made-up genre and stupid name, has some good bands. I'm not totally familiar with all of them, but Wolf, Cauldron (formerly Goat Horn), Jex Thoth (would make an excellent Star Wars character name), The Gates of Slumber, Icarus Witch, and Twisted Tower Dire are all quality bands.

Metallica's James Hetfield cover +3: Not going out on a limb here, but Metallica's last album was good and they were recently inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I'll give it a pass.

Photos of Corey Taylor and Fred Durst on page 7 -2: I don't want Slipknot or Limp Bizkit in my fucking metal magazine. The wound is threatening to return.

Another Slipknot pic -1: THE WOUND! THE WOUND!

Advice Column from Oderus Urungus of Gwar -1: This could have been funnier. A missed opportunity.

Kat Von D feature +2: She's attractive and she's in her underwear, but she would look a hell of a ot better without all the tattoos and rat's nest in her hair. Of course then she would be a nobody. Instead of the burgeoning celebrity she currently is. Ah, sarcasm.

Grand Theft Auto 4 feature +1: What do video games have to do with metal? Ah, apparently Max Cavalera is one of the DJs for a music station you can listen to in the game. Some surprisingly decent bands such as At the Gates, Bathory, Celtic Frost, Deicide, and Kreator.

Defenders of the Faith feature +2: Tour package feature with Lamb of God, Dimmu Borgir, Unearth, and Five Finger Death Punch. Meh.

Machine Head/Metallica main article +5: I don't really understand what these bands have in common other than being past their prime. Oh, Bay Area thrash, except Machine Head was not part of that scene, Robb Flynn's previous band Vio-lence was, so this is unnecessarily tenuous.

Mastodon article -5: Shocker. The guitarist says they're not a metal band and in fact he doesn't listen to metal. I no longer have respect for Mastodon. Alienating your fan base is not a good move.

Iron Maiden article +2: Iron Maiden made a tour movie, interesting. I may check this out. To Netflix I go.

Destroy Destroy Destroy article +1: They're supposed to be interesting but I have never checked them out because of the ridiculously stupid name. We'll see based on their song on the CD.

God Forbid article +2: Meh. Everyone has been covering God Forbid since their latest album. It's not bad, just not great.

Max Cavalera article +5: I always liked Max and he's not schilling some terrible album with Soulfly this time. What gives?

Black Tide article -1: They're okay, very young. The members are all in high school, I'm not sure it's worth following a group this young and naive.

Trouble: The Skull article +2: Good album by a great band. Essential early doom metal album.

Architects article -5: They suck and they look emo. Go the fuck away.

The New Wave of Trad Metal +1: It looks like Metal Hammer is trying to sneak in on what it perceives as a developing scene. News flash: most of these bands have been around for awhile. This is not a new scene, but I guess you're trying desperately to come up with something interesting. Good bands though so I guess you get a point.

Reviews: Same deal as Revolver:
(Hed) P.E. (even) -1: Why would you even want to review this shit? What does the name even mean? Why is my head hurting? What does it all mean?
Shinedown (positive) -1: Shinedown blows.
Others: No points, nothing terribly adventurous here. Meh.

Cannibal Corpse discography review -3: Kill is NOT their best album. For shame.

Dozens of pages of ads -5: Ugh, there's like three pages of ads for every one article.

Seance article +3: Underrated Swedish death metal group finally gets some attention.

Emperor interview +2: Interesting final look at a very influential band.

Subterranean Albums +2: Why separate the more underground albums from the mainstream albums? I don't understand. Are we trying to differentiate between groups of fans?

Overall feel -15: There is a section devoted to the underground at the end of the article, but the rest of the magazine just feels too damn safe. Very few risks involved. Mastodon, Metallica, Iron Maiden, God Forbid, and Machine Head are all mainstream metal artists.

Final Results: +7
There is some interesting information here and I am not completely repulsed by this one as I was by Revolver, but it was overly sanitized. It's metal music for people who are scared by death and black metal. I don't know, not horribly impressed but not freaked out either. It's not worth the $10 fucking dollars it cost. Bloody English. Big meh.

Dogs

*Letter dictated by my girlfriend

Dear It's Me or the Dog:

You are a bunch of fucking idiots for a number of reasons. But we will focus on the fact that Prince from today's show is not a Neapolitan Mastiff. Granted, he may have some Neapolitan Mastiff in him, but certainly not much. To illustrate my point, here is a Neapolitan Mastiff:

This, on the other hand, is Prince:

Love,

Mrs. shadowking86

Amorphis Rules

Amorphis is awesome and I can't wait for Skyforger. Sorry, I'm listening to Silent Waters right now, an album that renewed my faith in this band. Amazing album.

Metal Magazine Review Pt. 1 of 4: Revolver Fucking Sucks

As part of the aforementioned trip to the bookstore, I picked up the latest issue of Revolver with Mastodon on the cover. I had picked up Revolver once before a couple of years ago and they had some Hottest Chicks in Metal special. That was not the case this month, although they do appear to be making it some sort of monthly feature, with one girl each month. We'll get to that in a little bit. I have also mentioned Revolver previously on this blog for the atrocity known as the Golden Gods Awards so I knew how bad this magazine could be, boy it was worse than I thought. But on to the scoreboard. As mentioned previously, points are going to be given in a completely arbitrary fashion based solely on my whims. My EVIL whims, wa ha ha. You can't tell, but I am wringing my hands in an evil fashion right now.

COVER:
Mastodon +3: I'm not the biggest Mastodon fan in the world. I enjoyed Blood Mountain and I wouldn't mind getting some of their earlier albums, but I'm not sure I would get their latest album. I don't know, progressive metal isn't one of my favorite genres and I haven't heard anything really exciting off of this album yet.
Hollywood Undead -10: What the fuck? First of all, HWUD, which I will henceforth call them for shits and giggles, is not a fucking metal band. Secondly, I'm not sure you can even make an argument that they are a hard rock band. Thirdly, I am not sure you can make an argument that they are a rock band. Fourthly, my head hurts and I'm just getting angry. Fifthly, this band fucking sucks.

Page 3 advertizement for The Devil Wears Prada -1: I know magazines don't have a ton of choice for what is advertized and they may not all necessarily enjoy the bands in the magazine. But TDWP is a terrible Christian emo-hardcore band named after a Meryl Streep movie. What the fuck? They might as well be named The Bridges of Madison County. Fuck off.

Mastodon stuff -1: As of Page 5 I have seen Mastodon three times. I know they're your covr artist, but chill the fuck out.

Page 9 -1: More Mastodon. Fuck.

Alice in Chains article +1: I haven't seen much mention of this band getting a new singer and going out on the road around. Although it will be very difficult to say that this is the same band since Layne Staley died, at least they are trying to move on.

New Albums in Progress Feature -1: Kind of a nice feature. It does not surprise me that Shadows Fall is mentioned, it does surprise me that there is a mention of Sigh, complete with topless shot of Dr. Mikkanibal who apparently records in the nude, but THRICE? Come on.

Wes Borland picture -1: I want to forget Limp Bizkit ever fucking existed.

Autopsy news blurb +1: Surprised Revolver has heard of Autopsy.

Dressed to Kill feature -2: I like Warbringer, but is it necessary to have a fashion feature to cover t-shirt, jeans, and Converse? This is a music magazine, not a fucking fashion expo.

Hottest Chicks in Metal feature +2: Not a bad idea. This month's feature girl is The Agonist's Alissa White-Gluz. Despite the blue hair, she's not bad looking, although I don't care much for The Agonist's watered down metalcore.

Napalm Death article +5: I'm surprised Revolver has heard of Napalm Death.

Eighteen Visions article -5: Figures. Do something right, then immediately shoot yourself in the foot. Nobody gives a flying fuck about these emo jackasses. Three of the members are wearing fucking scarves in the picure.

Cancer Bats feature -2: I don't know who these fuckwads are, but my ex loves them, which makes me hate them more.

Sylosis feature +1: Not broadening their horizons here as Sylosis fits neatly with Trivium and God Forbid for mainstream metal bands, but hey they're new to the scene.

A Day to Remember feature -1: "Pop-punk-metal"? I don't want to fucking know. I'm sure the metal part is completely false.

Most Metal Moments in Wrestling -5: I dislike wrestling. Most of the "metal" bands are not metal. Limp Bizkit, Saliva, and P.O.D. are featured prominently. My head still hurts. I think I'm having an aneurysm.

Mastodon article +5: We knew it was coming, but hey I'm starting to like Mastodon more and more after being subjected to some of this shit.

Hollywood Undead poster -5: I don't think anyone would want these masked-assholes looking at them from their wall. Only reason I don't take more points away is that Mastodon is on the other side.

Hey I can win a cymbal autographed by Mastodon's drummer! Isn't that special?

Tales From the Pit +2: Looks interesting. Bad moshpit stories. Haven't read it yet, might someday. I highly doubt there are moshpits at Thrice shows though.

Hollywood Undead article -20: ugh, what the fuck? And it's 5 fucking pages long?! And it's all about dick jokes and boob commentary. I don't fucking care. Go away Revolver. I can't move the left side of my body.

Screamo-Crunk Guide -10: Once again, not metal, not hard rock, not rock. This is just a terrible fucking fad that jackass junior high kids in the suburbs with daddy issues listen to. It's not even music. Fail.

Review: We'll just go through and determine point values based on who was reviewed and how positive or negative the review was.
Static-X (positive) -1: Static-X has't released anything even decent in years.
Believer (positive) +1: Not bad, the Christian progressive thrash metal band deserves a good review even if it does come from Revolver.
Dirtfedd (positive) -1: I feel bad because ths band is from my hometown, but they suck so I don't feel so bad.
Got the Life (positive) -1: Fieldy from Korn wrote a tell-all book. Collectively, the U.S. yawns.
Papa Roach (even) -1: Despite the fact that this was not a positive review, the fact that they even bothered with these trend-hopping jackasses and did not review them negatively can only be seen as a failure.
The rest of the reviews don't matter to me.

Slipknot live review -2: Ugh. I hate Slipknot.

Amon Amarth album cover commentary +1: I like Amon Amarth and this was a good cover. Whatever.

So let's total up the score and we have -49 points. Revolver sucks. I recommend this magazine for mallcore idiots who listen to anything MTV Headbanger's Ball and Hot Topic spoon feed them. My head still hurts and I want my $6 back plus pain and suffering.

Metal Magazines

Last night, out of boredom, I went over to the bookstore and purchased four metal magazines. I am still mourning the loss of my beloved Metal Maniacs and am looking to fill the hole. Anyway, for something fun (well, fun for me anyway) to do, I figure I would assign completely arbitrary and random points for whatever the fuck I wanted to in order to determine whether or not to get a new subscription going. Look for those posts this weekend carrying over into next week.

Metal Reunions

Technical death metal is taking off lately, so a lot of the original tech-death groups are reuniting. This is great news because a lot of these bands had somewhat shorter careers and went out far too soon. I'm excited to see new albums from these bands and maybe see one or two on tour if possible. So, let's look at some of these bands, their history, and their future.

CYNIC

Cynic was one of the original technical death metal bands. They added some odd jazz fusion elements to their Florida death metal. The demos were more straightforward death, it was not until the album Focus that things got really interesting. That album is a standout in early death metal for its varied influences. The clean vocals were handled through the use of a vocoder, giving it a futuristic, robotic sound. There were of course death metal growls as well. The major standout was the musicianship of the band. These were amazing musicians, not at all stereotypical of death metal bands. Unfortunately they split up soon after.

I picked up Traced in Air, Cynic's reunion album last holiday season. A lot of the death metal elements are gone now, but the musicianship is still strong. Cynic has matured into an amazing progressive metal band now. They are on tour currently with Daath and Dragonforce, but they will be playing in Omaha on a weeknight, not the best time for me to go with work. Too bad.

ATHEIST

Even more jazz-influenced and more death metal-sounding than Cynic. Atheist was the more successful band in that they did produce more than one full length in the first part of their career and were better accepted at the time. Atheist recorded three great full length albums in the early 1990's. They then dissolved.

Atheist reunited recently and while there has not been a new album yet, they are said to be working on it.

HEATHEN

Heathen is a little thrashier than the previous two. I am not as familiar with them, having only heard a few of their songs. I have their two full lengths downloaded on my computer, but have not been able to find the time to listen to them. Their sound can best be described as a more progressive and technical Testament.

Heathen was the first of these groups to reunite, releasing a demo in 2005 to rave reviews. They are currently working on their third full length album.

BELIEVER

I find the fact that the four groups discussed so far all have religion-oriented names extremely funny. We've got Atheist, Cynic, and Heathen so far. All we're missing is a Christian group, what should we call them? How about Believer. And that is what Believer is: the Christian counterpart to Atheist, Cynic, and Heathen. Like Heathen though I have only heard a few songs from Believer. They were very good and one of the few Christian metal bands I am very interested in.

Believer released a live album in 2007 then signed on with Metal Blade to release their fourth full-length earlier this year. I am currently on the lookout for this one.

Clarification on Yesterday's Posts

I want to make one thing clear on yesterday's posts. I am not an Anti-Christian. I don't particularly care for Christianity, but I am not deadset against it. I thought yesterday would be an interesting day to bring up that aspect of the metal culture. In the future, I may very well have a post up about Christian metal bands, of which there are some good ones. There are also some terrible ones, but it's like that with every genre.

Happy Easter (A Day Late)

Obviously metal does not have a very good relationship with Christianity. The two are often at odds. So, for this special holiday, let's take a look at some album covers that are particularly blasphemous.

AYAT: SIX YEARS OF DORMANT HATRED
Here we have a metal band from Lebanon of all places. On this cover we can see that Jesus has been pushed to the side in favor of a nakd woman. I am sure this is supposed to mean something, I just don't know what.

ANGELCORPSE: OF LUCIFER AND LIGHTNING
And in this corner, we have Satan devouring crucified Jesus feet first. Angelcorpse unfortunately broke up recently. But the good news is that Order From Chaos will reform from Angelcorpse's ashes.

GRAVE: AS RAPTURE COMES
Here Jesus is about to be devoured by a legion of demons. Grave is one of the leaders from the Swedish death scene along with Entombed and Dismember.

ROTTING CHRIST: KHRONOS 666
I had to get this band in here because even their name is on point. This isn't a particularly bad cover, just a picture of the crucified Jesus. I posted about Rotting Christ previously, so I won't rehash anything here.

CRYPTOPSY: NONE SO VILE
This is one of the most brutal albums of all time. And what a cover too. The Virgin Mary serving Jesus's head on a silver platter.

And Again

This one deserves it's own thread. Here is Vital Remains's cover for 2007 album Icons of Evil. I don't even know what to say. This is the most blasphemous album cover I have EVER seen.


I'm going to Hell.

The Arghoslent Quandary

Let me begin by saying that I am not a racist nor will I tolerate racism. Which brings me to the problem with the band Arghoslent. Arghoslent is a band from Virginia that plays some of the most melodic, catchy death metal that I have heard. They write amazing riffs and play fast and loud. The vocals are often limited to grunts and roars.

The problem is that they have some horrid lyrics as one can tell from their song titles: "Flogging the Cargo", "Quelling the Simian Urge", "In Coffles They Were Led", "Manacled Freightage". As you may be able to see, a major source of lyrics for this band is the slave trade. Perhaps this is where the quandary can be settled. Yes, the lyrics are horrible, but the subject is something that happened a long time ago and the band seems to look at it from the perspective of when it was happening. Nowhere do they take the viewpoint that African-Americans should still be treated that way. It is more a history lesson than a commentary.

Dusting Off a Cassette Pt. 7: Gwar: Ragnarok

Next up in this series is Gwar's Ragnarok. This one is kind of weird. Gwar has never really been a band to take seriously. They tend to be more interested in shocking people and putting on a show than putting together great albums. This album is no exception as it contains many different influences other than metal. Gwar is not one of my favorite bands, although seeing them in concert would be interesting. Many of the riffs are fairly simple and as mentioned earlier there are influences from surf, punk, and even hip hop here. The lyrics are mostly somewhat humorous, detailing more tales of the alien alter-egos of the band. There are some very memorable sngs such as "Meat Sandwich", "Warghoul", and "Nudged". Ultimately though, this album is such an odd collection that it is not truly easy to listen to.

The Revolver Golden God Awards Were Fucking Pathetic

As you might guess, I have a bit of a disdain for award shows. Especially when they have a metal category because they almost always manage to fuck it up. So how about an awards show devoted to metal? Can't be too bad can it? Yes, yes it can.

Enter the Revolver Golden God Awards. The list of winners:
Most Awesomely Good Drummer: Vinnie Paul (HELLYEAH/PANTERA)
Best Underground Metal Band: ISIS
Metal Industry Award: The Rainbow Bar & Grill
Best Album: METALLICA
Honorary Headbanger: Kat Von D
Golden God: Dave Mustaine (MEGADETH)
Best Riff: SLIPKNOT
Most Viral Video: PROTEST THE HERO
Most Metal Athlete: Shaun White
Best Live Band: Slipknot
Best New Talent: SUICIDE SILENCE
Lifetime Achievement: OZZY OSBOURNE
Best International Band: DETHKLOK
Reader’s Choice Award: ACACIA STRAIN
Most Mind-Blowing Guitarist: Jeff Hanneman & Kerry King (SLAYER)
Hottest Chick In Metal: Marta Peterson (BLEEDING THROUGH)

And now for the tear-down.

First off, Revolver is a pathetic magazine. Devoted exclusively to mainstream rock/metal, they rarely have anything interesting to say. You can tell by looking at the award recipients. They are bandwagon-hoppers of the worst kind. They are all over the latest trends. Now how about each award itself?

Most Awesomely Good Drummer: Vinnie Paul
I never liked Paul's drumming much when he was with Pantera. It's barely passable. I never saw the appeal of considering him some great drummer in the first place. I would prefer to give this to Gene Hoglan (Dark Angel, Death, Strapping Young Lad). Plus, the name of the award is fucking retarded.

Best Underground Metal Band: ISIS
An easy rule to remember: if a band's albums are sold at Best Buy in smaller markets, you are not underground. I've seen ISIS albums at Best Buy in Grand Island, they don't fit the definition at all. Plus, I hate ISIS and all of the post-metal, shoegaze shit scene. Tons of better selections out there.

Metal Industry Award: Rainbow Bar and Grill
I don't even know what this award is supposed to mean. Pass.

Best Album: Metallica
No, just no. A decent album, but so many better ones came out last year. Grand Magus's album is my personal favorite from last year, but if we are limiting this to the U.S., as it appears we are, then my vote goes to Mictlantecuhtli: Warriors of the Black Sun. If it should be somewhat mainstream then I will vote for the latest offerings from Toxic Holocaust, Lair of the Minotaur, hell even Testament's latest was better than Metallica's.

Honorary Headbanger: Kat Von D
See Metal Industry Award.

Golden God: Dave Mustaine
See above, although I might grant this one, because Mustaine is awesome.

Best Riff: Slipknot
Fuck off. Not fucking metal.

Most Viral Video: Protest the Hero
I don't understand this award either. I'm guessing some sort of best video category. We'll go with Lair of the Minotaur's War Metal Battle Master.

Most Metal Athlete: Shaun White
I don't know who this is. Pass.

Best Live Band: Slipknot
Again, fuck off. Metallica for the win.

Best New Talent: Suicide Silence
No, just no. I'll go with Sothis here. I strongly dislike deathcore.

Lifetime Achievement: Ozzy Osbourne
Okay, I'll grant you another one.

Best International Band: Dethklok
And you really suck. Dethklok is the cartoon band from Metalocalypse. Fuck. Tons of better suggestions. I won't even begin to name them. I-my mind is blown.

Reader's Choice: Acacia Strain
Not metal, doesn't fucking belong. Not my choice.

Most Mind-Blowing Guitarist: Slayer duo
Decent guitarists, but definitely not mind-blowing. You gave Mustaine an award earlier, why not two?

Hottest Chick: Marta Peterson (Bleeding Through)
For American metal chicks, I suppose. Definitely not hotter than Cristina Scabbia of Lacuna Coil.

And there you have the utter failure. In summation: Revolver fucking blows.

Boston Red Sox 2009 Preview

Now, for my other major interest outside of work: The Boston Red Sox.

CATCHER: Jason Varitek
Varitek is my favorite player. That being said, he is not the same player he used to be. He is getting older and his bat speed is diminishing. Last year was a terrible year but he looked okay this Spring. He provided a home run in the first game of the season last night. I would expect him to have a better year this year, but maybe not as good as in previous years. He will still provide solid defense and continue calling a good game.

FIRST BASE: Kevin Youkilis
Last year, Youkilis continued developing into one of the more consistent hitters in the game. He is in the prime of his career so I don't expect him to improve much but he should be good for another .325-30-100 season while getting on base at a good clip. His defense is great and he should be considered a candidate for a Gold Glove as well as MVP.

SECOND BASE: Dustin Pedroia
The breakout star of the team, Pedroia has been with the Red Sox for two full years and in that time won Rookie of the Year, MVP, a Silver Slugger, and a Gold Glove. He will continue to improve. He is a ton of fun to watch and very intense. We are witnessing the beginning of a great career.

SHORTSTOP: Jed Lowrie
Lowrie reminds me a lot of Pedroia, but with a little more power. He is an exceptional defender and a potential All Star. He won't be as good as Pedroia, but he will be a very good player.

THIRD BASE: Mike Lowell
Lowell is on the downturn of his career. He was injured for much of the season last year but will continue to be an effective player for the short term. He has lost a step on defense and may need to be substituted for occasionally but he should improve on last year's numbers. 2007 is in the distant past though.

RIGHT FIELD: J.D. Drew
You never know what you will get with Drew. If he stays healthy, he makes the game look incredibly easy. When he's hurt, he's maddening. I think he will be healthy for the greater part of the season and will turn in similar numbers to last year.

CENTER FIELD: Jacoby Ellsbury
I hope he improves on last year. He just needs to be more consistent at the plate. He is one of the most exciting players in the game on the base paths and in the field. He just needs to get on more often. He should break the Red Sox stolen bases record this year.

LEFT FIELD: Jason Bay
A full season in Boston should do him well. He is a good hitter but is not as flashy as the man he replaced, Manny Ramirez. No matter, Bay is professional and plays the game with respect. He will easily hit .280-30-100.

DESIGNATED HITTER: David Ortiz
With any luck, he is healthy and dangerous again. If so, Boston will have a very good season and challenge for the AL pennant. If not, they will have to rely heavily on their pitching.

BENCH: George Kottaras, Nick Green, Chris Carter, Rocco Baldelli
Outfield depth is pretty deep, but Kottaras and Carter do not have much major league experience. Kottaras is there to give Varitek the occasional day off. Green had a great spring but has not performed well in the majors. Baldelli, if healthy, will be a great addition to the team.

STARTING ROTATION: Josh Beckett, Jon Lester, Daisuke Matsuzaka, Tim Wakefield, Brad Penny
Beckett should be back to his 2007 form when he almost won the Cy Young Award. Lester has developed into one of the top left-handers in the game. Matsuzaka is unhittable when his command is on. He just needs to stop nibbling at the corners so much and throw his hard stuff. Wakefield will continue to give league-average results. Penny, if healthy, is a huge boost to the rotation and he looked healthy this Spring. If not, John Smoltz will be ready midseason to add another boost.

MIDDLE RELIEF: Manny Delcarmen, Hideki Okajima, Ramon Ramirez, Javier Lopez, Justin Masterson, Takashi Saito
One of the deepest bullpens I have seen in the Red Sox. All of them are hard-throwers with consistent command. This will be a very strong bullpen.

CLOSER: Jonathan Papelbon
The enigmatic closer returns. Papelbon is one of the best in the game. Hopefully they will keep him around.

OVERALL:
The AL East is a tough division with the Yankees and Rays both stocking up. The Red Sox will be in the thick of it all year as long as injuries do not slow them down. If Penny and/or Smoltz pitch to their history, the starting rotation is one of the best in the big leagues. The bullpen is deep. Defense is a big strength. The only issue is whether they will miss Manny Ramirez on offense. My gut says a little.

The OC Music Awards Utterly Fucking Failed

Here's an update from an earlier post about the OC Music Awards. Apparently it failed in a spectacular blaze of incompetency with regard to the metal award. I have never before seen such a disgraceful display of ineptitude. Atreyu fucking won the metal award. Yes that's right, the emo band Atreyu, named after the fucking kid in Neverending Story. Fuck you, OC Music Awards, fuck you.

Strange Album Covers Pt. 1

I love album covers. The visual aspect of albums can often be the difference when considering buying an album or deciding between a couple of albums. That being said, there are some truly bizarre album covers out there as well. This is the first in a new series.


EDGUY: TINNITUS SANCTUS
Someone has a big opinion of themselves. I think this is hilarious. Apparently they're trying to tell us that their music is so bad that Jesus's ears are bleeding. Just kidding, the band isn't too bad, but the imagery is pretty funny.

BLEEDING THROUGH: THE TRUTH
One of the more gruesome and realistic looking album covers. This is one of the few metalcore albums I enjoy quite a bit. Apparently this unlucky individual had his lower jaw ripped off. Unfortunately that's the most brutal thing about this album.

DESTRUCTION: RELEASE FROM AGONY
I don't know what the fuck this is supposed to be, it's just fucking weird.

CELTIC FROST: TO MEGA THERION
Let me see if I get the symbolism: the devil is using Jesus to target us? Sounds pretty close to me. Still, a great early death metal album with an H.R. Giger painting as the cover? I'm sold.

ACID BATH: WHEN THE KITE STRING POPS
What the fuck do clowns have to do with metal? And a painting of a clown? Well the answer is fairly clear when you find out that serial killer John Wayne Gacy painted this. Pretty macabre if you ask me.

What's In A Name?

Ah yes, band names. Some are great and you know what the band is going to sound like just by hearing the name. Examples are: Black Sabbath, Slayer, Pantera, Cannibal Corpse, Celtic Frost, etc. Some names, on the other hand, are just fucking stupid. Here is a list of some of the worst names for metal bands I have ever heard:
A Kid Hereafter in the Grinding Light
A King's Worthy Mustache
All the Heathers are Dying
Arsonists Get All the Girls
Black Letter for a Rotten Heart
Bringing Down Broadway
Clinging to the Trees of a Forest Fire
Cross the Lips of Grace
Decapitation Done by Helicopter
Decompose My Dying Daughter
Five Characters in Search of an Exit
Fuck Your Shadow From Behind
Giddy Up Gangsta
Hermione
Hester Prynne
I Don't Want to Die in Texas
I Wrestled a Bear Once
Job For a Cowboy
Kids Will be Skeletons
Life Goes on Without Me
Like Peter at Home
May the Force be With You
Messages Via Carrier Pigeon
My Son My Executioner
No Penguins in Alaska
Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis
Poolside at the Flamingo
Seven Last Words of Christ
Spider Killed Bananaman
Success Will Write Apocalypse Across the Sky
Terminally Your Aborted Ghost
The Bad Luck 13 Extravaganza
The Boy Will Drown
The New Tony Bennett
The Texas Chainsaw Mascara
To Envy the Horrid
To Outlive the Beginning
What's He Building in There? (Not metal, but had to get them in)

Basic rule of thumb: If your band name is a complete sentence, think of another fucking name.

Nightmare on Elm Street Remake

Apparently A Nightmare on Elm Street is being remade. I oftentimes hate remakes and I don't think that this will be any exception. The major issue of course is that Robert Englund will NOT be reprising his role as Freddy Krueger. According to imdb, Robert Knepper will play him. There is another rumor floating around that Jackie Earle Haley will play the iconic villain. Haley did a fine job as Rorschach in The Watchmen so he might be a decent choice. However, it is difficult to envision anyone else as Krueger. But thanks to the Friday the 13th and Halloween remakes, it was only a matter of time. Aren't there any original movies left?

Dusting Off a Cassette Pt. 6: Confessor: Confessor

"What the hell is technical doom metal?" That was my thought after picking up this cassette for cheap at a discount music store and then looking into the band online upon getting it home. After listening, my thought was "oh, that makes sense then."

I picked the tape up, not because I had ever heard of the band, but because I was on a buying spree for tapes. This is one of those that you can just tell by the cover is a metal album. I was expecting some type of underground death or thrash metal. I got technical doom. In a nutshell, Confessor takes the technical aspects of groups like Atheist, Heathen, and Pestilence and instead of applying it to death or thrash, applies it to traditional doom metal in the vein of Cirith Ungol or Trouble, in fact two of the tracks are Trouble covers. It's quite an interesting sound. The vocals are not great, but the music, especially the drummer is terrific. My only lament is that it is a little bit too short, clocking in around 20 minutes and only four songs.

Peter Dolving (The Haunted) Issues Fuck You to Lamb of God

Seriously folks. You could go out and see any of a number of bands in the next four weeks. What you’ll receive will of course be generic deliverance of generic metalcore by the numbers and certainly you won’t be more than slightly disappointed. The big one this time around out there being the Lamb Of God tour. Which will according to business-planned management crawl itself around the North Americas for the next year and a half or so like a big snake. You could dig that shit and think ‘Holy mutherfucking hell! That shit rocks!’ or you could go and see the Haunted once and for all prove what metal is all about. But only if you want to have a good time. Only if you want to feel alive. Only if you like that feeling of actually realizing everything is not fucked utterly and beyond belief. But I guess if you are a sad, self-pitying son of a bitch you won’t go. Oh what the hell, really, don’t go. Most of those who read this don’t really give a shit anyway do you? You’d rather stay in a saline filled tank fed intravenously with a constant intake of whatever, whoever carries the biggest gun and wad of dollars has to say wants to feed you.

Peter Dolving is the current lead singer of The Haunted and he is apparently very proud of his band. The Haunted is okay, but they really are not much better than Lamb of God to be honest. In fact the bands are fairly similar in that they are more mainstream in the metal world. Ultimately it doesn't mean much for a member of The Haunted to insult Lamb of God. Wake me up when Dawn of Azazel gets in someone's face.

Dusting Off a Cassette Pt. 5: Armored Saint: Symbol of Salvation

John Bush was one of my first favorite singers in metal. I first heard him on The Sound of White Noise, Anthrax's attempt to stay relevant in the mainstream. The band had shed a lot of their thrash sounds and went for a more modern, streamlined sound. They also brought in Bush to replace Joey Belladonna. Bush had a more serious, less playful voice than Belladonna and he matched the new sound well. Of course the new sound was a slap in the face of old fans. Bush would record a few more albums with Anthrax, however the band never sounded quite right with Bush. I always believed Bush was better suited for a more melodic, traditional heavy metal band, much like Armored Saint, his band before joining Anthrax.

Armored Saint has much more in common with American power metal than thrash and John Bush's voice perfectly complements the sound. His soaring vocals are the best part of the album, even though the guitar work is very impressive in its own right. The songs for the most part are catchy. "Hanging Judge" is a great song with an extremely catchy chorus. I first heard this song on Hellraiser 3, in which Armored Saint had a brief cameo.

Unfortunately not all of the songs are great. It starts to drag a little toward the halfway point, but that's where "Hanging Judge" kicks in.

Armored Saint broke up when Bush left for Anthrax but recently got back together. Let's hope they have some more of this style of metal in them.

New Cassettes

I recently found a store in the city I just moved to that actually carries cassettes, some kind of rare ones too. I love cassettes, no idea why, I just do. So I picked up five new ones. Be prepared to see blog posts discussing the new stuff. I might have to go back again soon and pick up some others that I was on the fence about. The only real problem is that the selection was a little limited so I will not be able to go back too many more times. Very unfortunate.

Dusting Off a Cassette Pt. 4: Metallica: Kill Em All

Metallica was the first band I really got into. This was before CDs had become the most common form of buying music so I have the first five albums by Metallica on cassette.

Kill Em All was Metallica's debut album and one of the first thrash metal albums of all time. This album is a classic. There are some great thrash anthems here including "Hit the Lights", "Seek and Destroy", "The Four Horsemen", "Jump in the Fire", and "Metal Militia". The sound is raw and powerful featuring some great riffs. The riff in "The Four Horsemen" is one of the all time greatest thrash riffs. Many of these songs, in particular the guitar riffs, were written by Dave Mustaine who had been kicked out of the band prior to the recording of this album. Mustaine has always been one of the better riff men in metal and that shows in this album.

There is nothing to dislike in this album. It is pure, classic Bay Area thrash. The songs are enrgetic and powerful, the individual performances are terrific, and the album has influenced a huge number of later bands. This is thrash at its best. This album would be surpassed by Metallica's sophomore album Ride the Lightning.

Dear Headbanger's Ball

Dear Headbanger's Ball:
Back in the 1980's/1990's you featured mostly heavy metal videos. You have never been particularly great at picking metal as the glam scene was going on at the time and you showed an exordinate amount of glam videos. In the last several years you have come back from the dead to continually disappoint metal fans like myself. Every once in awhile, you may actually feature a metal video, amongst all of the nu metal and false metal bullshit.

Last night, this was your roster of videos, and this was a surprisingly good night for you:
MASTODON - DIVINATIONS
HATEBREED - TO THE THRESHOLD
LAMB OF GOD - SET TO FAIL
WAR OF AGES - ALL CONSUMING FIRE/HBB PREMIERE
HED PE - RENEGADE
MEGADETH - NEVER WALK ALONE…A CALL TO ARMS
LACUNA COIL - OUR TRUTH
LIZZY BORDEN - UNDER YOUR SKIN/HBB PREMIERE
STATIC X - STINGWRAY
SLIPKNOT - DEAD MEMORIES
DOPE - 6-6 SICK
CANNIBAL CORPSE - EVISCERATION PLAGUE
EXODUS - RIOT ACT
CATTLE DECAPITATION - REGRET & THE GRAVE
DIMMU BORGIR - THE SERPENTINE OFFERING
HEAVEN & HELL - SHADOW OF THE WIND
KREATOR - HORDES OF CHAOS
QUEENSRYCHE - IF I WERE KING/HBB PREMIERE

Let's see here: Hatebreed is a moshcore/tough guy hardcore band, very few metal influences there. Hed P.E. isn't even fucking close to metal, rap over very basic rock guitars. Static X, Slipknot, and Dope are all nu metal bands, not metal. Everything else was pretty mainstream, but it's about fucking time to see another Kreator video on there. There you go, other than that, decent job. You're learning, keep it up, or you will hear from me again.

Love,
shadowking86

Finally Some Decent Reunion News

Canadian thrash metal band Sacrifice has reunited and has released a little snippet from an upcoming album. Finally some good news on the reunion front. I never liked Sacrifice as much as countrymen Slaughter, but they are pretty good. It's nice to see so many early thrash metal bands enjoy the resurgence in the genre and get back together.

Ozzy Osbourne is a Money-Grubbing Whore

Let me begin by saying that I love Ozzy Osbourne. I am a big fan of Black Sabbath when Ozzy was the singer and a big fan of a lot of Ozzy's solo career. A lot of Ozzy's solo career, not all of it. The fact of the matter is that Ozzy's albums often had a lot of filler on them. I am hard-pressed to think of one album I enjoyed all the way through. Ozzy has released a lot of Greatest Hits collections as well. These are normally pretty decent, although the songs that will be included are often fairly obvious. The Prince of Darkness box set for instance has all of the classic songs from Ozzy's solo work. It also features some rare and previously unreleased material as well. This is where things start to get a little fuzzy and Ozzy's money-grubbing whore side starts to show through.

Disc 1 features Ozzy's big hits from Blizzard of Ozz through Bark at the Moon. Again, many of the song choices are obvious although the Ozzman uses live songs for some of the tracks. I do not know how to feel about this. On the one hand, it is nice to hear a different version, but on the other, most of these live versions were available on the live album Tribute: Randy Rhoads, which kind of makes their inclusion less significant. Randy Rhoads was a great guitar player though and hearing his solos live is a treat. Only the live version of "Bark at the Moon" was not released on a previous album, instead it can be found as the b-side to the UK So Tired single. If none of the versions are previously unreleased versions, the producers would have been better served using the original songs. That being said, this is where most of Ozzy's best material is, so it is the disc I listen to most often of the four.

Disc 2 takes the listener from The Ultimate Sin through Down to Earth in similar fashion as Disc 1. The first three tracks are songs that originally appeared on The Ultimate Sin, however each one is a live version only shown on The Ultimate Ozzy video. This is more like it. These tracks do not appear on other recorded albums. Also, Ozzy rarely performs tracks from this album live anymore, which is a shame because there was some killer material on the album. Four of the five songs off of No More Tears are demo versions that can only be found on The No More Tears Demo Sessions. This is an extremely rare demo collection and again is a nice touch, although most of the songs do not sound much different than the eventual recorded output, some of the arrangements are slightly different. "Won't Be Coming Home" is the most unusual track from this set as it eventually became "S.I.N.". "Perry Mason" appeared on the first Ozzfest collection, then we have some more rare recordings of other songs from live albums and a couple of unreleased demo versions. Obviously the way to get people to invest their money into buying a box set like this is to offer them something different, something they may not already own. The second disc does a much better job of doing that than the first disc.

Disc 3 features a lot of the collaborations and various artist compilations and this is where Ozzy sacrifices a lot of metal credibility with some of these match-ups. The first two tracks appeared on the Nativity in Black tribute albums to Black Sabbath and feature Ozzy with Therapy? and Primus respectively covering classic Sabbath tracks. These are fairly faithful versions of the original songs and are not offensive. Ozzy then covers "Purple Haze" which he promptly butchers. After that we get his collaboration with Type O Negative which is an okay but not overly impressive track off of the Howard Stern movie. I would have liked to hear more of a duet with Peter Steele, but whatever. Then the whole thing goes to hell for a few songs. I'm not sure which genius decided it was a good idea to put collaborations with Was (Not Was), Miss Piggy, Crystal Method, 'Ol Dirty Bastard, DMX, the Wu Tang Clan, and Dweezil Zappa, but he should lose his job promptly. The Was (Not Was) track is particularly awful as it features Ozzy attempting to rap. Apparently Ozzy will do anything for a buck, including sell out his credibility to appear with artists he has no business working with. "Psycho Man", one of the original songs on the Black Sabbath Reunion album almost makes the disc listenable and the collaborations with Infectious Grooves and Lemmy are decent but forgettable.

Disc 4 was originally the whole reason to buy the box set as most of these were previously unreleased covers. However, they were all released on the Under Cover album which came out later in the year making their desirability limited. This is interesting though to hear some of the songs that influenced Ozzy. I have often wondered what he listened to, although I did know he listened to The Beatles a lot. This disc gave me a better understanding of where Ozzy came from. I do not know the original songs well enough to comment on how good a job Ozzy did with them so I will save that.

The most interesting aspect of this box set is the packaging. There was a lot of time spent in collecting together photos of Ozzy live and in photo shoots covering his entire solo career. Also Ozzy gives some brief insight into each of the songs at the beginning of the booklet. It's funny to see him mention being too wasted to remember what happened in several spots.

Altogether, this is obviously a cash grab. Ozzy is making money off of this box set featuring tracks released multiple times. The few rarities really do not make the box set worth the money. If one already owns all of the albums, then this collection is not a great buy, it is only for the hardcore completist or someone who does not already own everything.

Me Too! Me Too! I Wanna Be Popular!

Ah, screamo-crunk. If only I could get in a time machine and go back to when I was blissfully unaware such a phenomenon existed. Ah, if only.

If you don't know what this is, either quit reading now or you will never feel safe again. Screamo-crunk grew out of two of the most godawful music scenes of the last 50 years. These bands combine the grating whininess of emo with the upbeat, club anthems of crunk, a music so horrible that most rappers are trying to steer clear of it. This melds together to create something so horrendous, words cannot begin to describe it. Run away. Run far away.

I first read about this on some other metal blogs. One of the bloggers wrote that the scene was featured in the latest issue of Revolver, a horrible false metal magazine. He said he did not see how this was considered metal, or even hard rock. Well the answer is simple, this is NOT metal, not by a long shot. It does not bear the slightest resemblance to metal. I feel very safe in saying that it will never be confused for metal.

I now know that I am old. I cannot believe the trash kids these days listen to. Here is a sample, but remember, you cannot un-hear this.

Chris Cornell, What the Hell?

I remember back in 1995, Soundgarden won a Grammy for Best Metal Performance for the song "Spoonman." In his acceptance speech, singer Chris Cornell said something to the effect that everyone should realize that yes, Soundgarden is a metal band. I have never had any doubts about that. They are one of the few bands arising from the Seattle grunge scene in the late 80's/early 90's that did have more in common with metal than alternative rock. The Black Sabbath influence in Soundgarden's early work was very evident.

Since that time though, Chris Cornell has done a lot to distance himself from the metal scene, and I would like to know why. Is he chasing money? Fame? Who knows. All I know is that Soundgarden's next album was definitely a far cry from their earlier work. After that, Cornell decided to go solo and sounded more like Bryan Adams than the once-mighty metal singer he was. Then he joined members of Rage Against the Machine to form Audioslave, which was not a bad band, but ultimately disposeable modern rock. Now, he has teamed up with Timbaland of all people to form some horrible version of pop music with dance beats. I have heard a few songs, and this is one of the worst things I have ever heard. What happened to Chris Cornell?

He still has his trademark strong tenor voice, but the music he is making is atrocious. It's time to hang it up. His inadequacies are further revealed in the wake of the other members of Soundgarden joining with Tad Doyle, formerly of grunge band Tad, and performing Soundgarden classics.

Dear Hit Parader

Dear Hit Parader:

I just got done tearing Metal Edge down so I started looking for metal magazines. I thought of yours and recently looked at your webpage. I noticed you had an Ultimate Metal issue recently. And who was the band you picked for your cover? Slipknot. You fucking fail.

Love,

shadowking86

A Capella Metal? What the Hell?

This is Van Canto, a "band" composed of one drummer, and four or five singers. The singers sing the metal music with one lead singer. Honestly, I don't know what to think. They also do a cover of the Metallica classic "Battery." I think it would be a little better to just listen to and not see, their faces during the songs are hilariously cheezy.

Metal Edge Magazine: The Redheaded Stepchild of Metal Maniacs

Technically, it's the sister publication of Metal Maniacs, which doesn't help explain why it so terrible. After Metal Maniacs folded, I was left without a decent metal magazine. Metal Edge folded at the same time. I am significantly less saddened by that though. However in moving to a new town, I uncovered two issues of Metal Edge that I forgot that I had. I would have thought that I had thrown them away, but no, there they were in a tub with a bunch of my law school books, mocking me. Bastards.

Let's look at this magazine for a second, before I pitch them in the trash where they belong. I got them shortly after subscribing to Metal Maniacs. For the first two months, they sent me this magazine instead. Something I was unhappy about from the very beginning. I had to call twice in order to get the company to send me the right magazine.

I knew I was doomed from the very beginning when the band featured on the cover was the whiny gothic rock band HIM. The rest of the magazine featured such false metal luminaries as 12 Stones, Of Hearts and Shadows, and Yakuza. There were also features on incredibly mainstream metal acts like Machine Head and Still Remains. There was some coverage on groups like Candlemass, Dark Tranquillity, and Immolation, but nothing that had not been done better in Metal Maniacs. The review section was awful with glowing reviews of false metal trash like Adema (formerly known as the terrible nu-metal band with Jonathan Davis's inept half-brother on vocals), August Burns Red, and Bloodsimple. The only saving graces of this magazine were a few reviews on real metal releases and the information on Amoeba Music in Los Angeles, a store I would like to see some time soon.

The second issue featured a decent, albeit mainstream band on the cover, The Black Dahlia Murder. But it quickly shot that goodwill in the foot by featuring a large article on Coheed & Cambria, a band not metal by any stretch of the imagination. Coheed & Cambria plays obnoxious progressive geek rock with terrible high-pitched vocals. I am not a fan. There's also a large article on Avenged Sevenfold, a band discussed in this blog a few times. Seriously, every time I see a picture of this band, I want to wretch. Once again, there is some decent material, a page discussing Witchcraft, Aeon, Epica, an article about Annete Olzon of Nightwish and Flor Jansen of After Forever, an article about Katatonia, and some decent reviews including one discussing recent Metal Mind reissues of Artillery, Defiance, Paradox, and Znowhite. Then there is the glowing review of Dillinger Escape Plan's recent clusterfuck of noise Ire Works, calling it a fucking masterpiece.

Metal Edge also includes a free CD with the magazine. Out of 14 songs on the first month's CD, six were by actual metal bands. Of the 15 songs on the second month's CD, seven were by actual metal bands. That's less than half, a very poor average for a magazine with "Metal" in it's fucking name.

Overall, I would have only recommended this magazine to early teenagers just getting into the music with the advice to use it as a stepping stone to something better. I will keep looking for a new metal magazine. Thankfully this one folded along with Metal Maniacs. Maybe one day, Metal Maniacs will be revived.

A Little Personal Info

Okay, I will share why I have not made any posts for a little while. I just got finished moving with my wonderful girlfriend to Norfolk, Nebraska. A new job and a new city. I will get back to posting soon.

Nebraska Metal Scene Pt. 1: Cellador: Enter Deception

As a Nebraskan, I have a lot of interest in my state's metal scene. Unfortunately, we really don't have much of a scene. Cellador thus far is the only metal band to achieve any kind of national following. The band is signed to Metal Blade Records, possibly the best-known metal label in the country, particularly since Roadrunner's defection to mainstream hard rock. The band has released one full-length album and a couple of demos. Hopefully they will be releasing another full-length soon.

Cellador is a power metal band from Omaha. They formed in 2004 when all members were 18-24 years of age. Cellador takes a European style approach to power metal, sounding much more like a slower Dragonforce or Blind Guardian in its middle period than American power metal bands like Jag Panzer, Liege Lord or Iced Earth.

The instrumentalists, particularly the lead guitar player, display impressive speed and technical mastery. The band is able to play technical power metal at blazing speeds. Many of the songs feature long solo sections allowing the guitar players to show off their chops. The bass player is proficient and can actually be heard, which is a little unusual for a power metal band. The singer possesses a higher register voice, similar to most other power metal bands, however he is not as strong of a vocalist as the singers for the aforementioned bands and his voice wavers a little when he is not singing within his comfort zone.

Lyrically, the band differs somewhat from their European power metal influences. The band deals typically with personal issues and striving for freedom and individuality than the fantasy imagery usually associated with European power metal. This is a refreshing change of pace.

"Leaving All Behind" is the standout track from the album. Opening an album with the strongest song is a good way to get the listener's attention, but if there are no other songs matching that intensity, things can get a little stale after awhile. This is the problem with this album. No other songs come close to matching the power of the opening track. Luckily, this is a shorter album than other power metal albums making the lack of other standout tracks less of an issue.

After all is said and done, this a fairly decent showing for a young power metal band. There is nothing mind-blowing, but it's a good, quick listen and the band shows some promise for further growth. At least they know how to write a song unlike some power metal bands.

Oh Good God NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Creed is reuniting. If there were a God, He would not allow this.

Dir En Grey Playing Men-Only Show

Apparently Dir En Grey are playing a show only for the men out there and will be checking gender at the door to ensure that no women get in. This brings up one major question.

Who the fuck is Dir En Grey?

Okay, apparently they are a Japanese band that attempts to blend various metal and rock styles. This brings up the question as to why they would be playing a men-only show and my answer came upon seeing this picture:
Those are all men. Ah, the mysteries of life finally solved.

The First Metal Band

The question of who was the first metal band is a source of some controversy. Many people have different ideas of which band was the first metal band. I thought about this as a result of seeing the documentary Metal: A Headbanger's Journey. The documentary mentioned Deep Purple, Blue Cheer, Alice Cooper, MC5, and Led Zeppelin as possibilities.

I, for one, have never really considered this much of a controversy. I have always thought it was pretty cut and dried. Black Sabbath, in my mind, was very clearly the first real metal band. Many of the other bands named above were proto-metal or had the occasional metal song, but were not in and of themselves a metal band. Comparing Black Sabbath to current metal bands, one can still clearly identify them as being from the same genre. This is not true of the other bands. Black Sabbath started it all. Every metal band since owes a debt of gratitude to them.

Andreas Kisser Insults Cavalera Conspiracy

Have you listened to the “Cavalera Conspiracy” debut album? Do you think that maybe one day will happen to co-operate again with Max and Igor?

I’ve heard the album, it is not bad but they could do a lot better. For what people was expecting, I think it is very weak. Who knows what the future will be? This is
something we don’t think about, I am looking forward to see, respecting our past
but working towards the future.

This from Andreas Kisser, guitarist for Sepultura, on his former bandmates Max and Iggor Cavalera and their new project Cavalera Conspiracy. Personally, I think he's wrong. I didn't love CC, but I thought it was a hell of a lot better than anything Sepultura has put out since Max left. Kisser is still desperately clinging to whatever credibility the band has left. The fact of the matter is that all of the parties are jokes to some degree or another. Sepultura put out some great thrash metal, but basically have proven to be nothing more than bandwagoners as far as music goes. When there is a trend, Sepultura will follow it. Now that thrash has become popular again, perhaps they will revert. The Cavaleras are not much different unfortunately. Despite my love for some of Sepultura's music, I have lost a lot of respect for them creatively.

New Heaven and Hell Album Cover Revealed

Heaven and Hell is the band featuring the entire second Black Sabbath lineup of Tony Iommi, Geezer Butler, Ronnie James Dio, and Vinny Appice. They changed the name in respect for Ozzy. They will release their first album as Heaven and Hell soon and this is the cover. Holy shit.

Gorgoroth Trial Results

All kinds of news today. Some time ago, a dispute arose over who owned the trademark to the name Gorgoroth. On one side, the last remaining original member guitarist Infernus, and on the other side, vocalist Gaahl and drummer King ov Hell. Apparently King and Gaahl tried to kick Infernus out of the band and then King registered the trademark. The Oslo City District Court ruled that the trademark registration was not valid and therefore deleted it, that the two members excluded themselves from the band when they tried to fire Infernus. Infernus cannot be excluded from the band unless he quits due to his position as the last remaining original member.

I don't really care one way or the other, I like Gorgoroth, but they're not a favorite. Apparently King has been writing most of the music lately so I am not sure how Gorgoroth will continue to sound. But there is an album in the works, so I guess we'll find out.

My position on the legal issues falls in line with the judge. Infernus was an original member. He has the say in what happens with the band. If they don't like it, tough, form another band.

Holy Shit, Varg Vikernes Has Been Released

Varg Vikernes, a.k.a. Count Grishnakh, the creative force behind Burzum and one-time bassist for Mayhem has been released from prison in Norway after 16 years. He was originally imprisoned for the murder of Mayhem guitarist Euronymous after a dispute over Euronymous's handling of Burzum's album releases. Maybe. There are all kinds of stories. Personally I am surprised he was released this soon due to his role in the Norway church burnings in the early 1990's and his escape from prison. I doubt he will have much trouble obeying the law anymore as he seems to have mellowed in his age. I would not be shocked to see him completely disappear. The last couple of Burzum recordings were terrible, if he gets back into making music, hopefully it will resemble the early stuff. I am sure he will not be rejoining Mayhem.

Signs of the Apocalypse Pt. 2: Skunk Anansie Reuniting

Okay the reunion of horrible nu-metal bands is reaching epic plague proportions. This is getting to be locust-like in scope. I enjoyed one or two of this band's songs but they were ultimately entirely disposeable. Apparently they disagree. They are a lot better than Crazy Town though, but that's not saying much.

Signs of the Apocalypse Pt. 1: Crazy Town is Reuniting

Okay, first Limp Bizkit and now Crazy Town? What the fuck, have I missed the memo saying that nu-metal has now gone from horribly lame bullshit to retro-cool now? Or is the band spurred from the lead singer's repeated, regrettable drug-addled performance on VH1's Celebrity Rehab? Either way, where's that sniper when you need him? Seriously, look at these assholes:

At least Faith No More is also reuniting.

Dusting Off a Cassette Pt. 3: Black Sabbath: Cross Purposes

Believe it or not, this was the first album by Black Sabbath I ever bought. I picked it up along with Ozzy Osbourne's No More Tears. Kind of strange that my first Sabbath record did not feature Ozzy and I got it at the same time as an Ozzy album. Anyway, Tony Martin was the singer for the band at this time. The band still had Tomy Iommi and Geezer Butler in it so it had the backbone of the band intact. This was the last good album full of original songs that Black Sabbath released.

As I said, this is actually a very good album. Tony Martin bears a slight resemblance to Ronnie James Dio if he had a lower voice. The guitar work is the highlight. Tony Iommi had not lost a step and the trademark evil atmosphere is still present. As for the songs, "Cross of Thorns" is probably the best. Slow-building, establishing the atmosphere, waiting to strike. The second half is mostly filled with faster songs and the album closes with a bang. Overall an impressive album for a band that has lost a lot of its identity. I just wish they had ended with this one and not recorded the rushed Forbidden.

Dear OC Music Awards

Dear OC Music Awards:

First of all, what the fuck? I had to look this "award ceremony" up because I have never heard of it before. I can just imagine an award show happening in the richest part of the neighborhood with a thousand identical douchebags showing up, the only difference being the slightly different angle their fucking hair is pointed. Apparently your goal is to promote exposure and recognition to artists in Orange County. I have news for you, we don't fucking care. Artists from Orange County get plenty of exposure from MTV and the like. While you are trying to promote these fuckwads, the rest of us are trying to avert our eyes and ears to avoid this horrible, contemptible bullshit. Artists from this area are some of the most vapid, vile pieces of shit to ever congeal in a gutter somewhere.

Let's just get this shit out of the way. You have a Best Metal category apparently. I was scared to look at this, because I had a pretty good idea where you were going with it. Still though, I am a glutton for punishment. Here it goes:

Best Metal:
Atreyu: Oh my fucking god, I knew it. Atreyu is like the retarded step brother to Avenged Sevenfold and bears little to no resemblance to metal in the slightest. Far more emo than metal, apparently the OC Music Awards believe that anything involving guitars and screaming is metal. Which brings us to:
Avenged Sevenfold: Fuck. I pretty much outlined my feelings toward this shit earlier in a post. I will only say this: Fuck A7X.
Bleeding Through: Okay, I can tolerate Bleeding Through and they are actually a metal band, so they better damn well win this, or I will never trust the OC Music Awards again. On second thought, I think I would prefer they not win, so I can make fun of this shit again.
Death By Stereo: Never heard of them, very bad sign. Apparently they're a punk band upon googling them. Apparently the OC Music Awards have never heard of metal.
Motor Gun Hotel: Same situation. Checked their Myspace. They list themselves as rock/grunge/psychedelic. I am hearing some unholy conglomeration of Nirvana, Nickelback, and The Doors. Assumption that the OC Music Awards have never heard of metal is confirmed. Plus they look like jackasses.

Upon looking at this list, I am struck by the utter stupidity in failing to have your award nominees match your message. Atreyu, Avenged Sevenfold, and Bleeding Through are already well-known bands who have toured the world with some huge acts. Way to drop the ball on your own awards show.

In closing, fuck you. I look forward to you fucking up again in the future.

Love,
shadowking86

P.S. In 2008 you gave this award to Sacred Storm, a thrash metal band who does not have much exposure, although they do still look like douchebags. I cannot conceive of how you got it right one year and failed so horribly the next.

False Metal

This term has been bandied about quite a bit in recent years, although the sentiments go back quite a bit farther even to the glam rock/metal days. Metal is a genre that is typically better when it is underground. As is the case with all music, when something is popular, it gets watered down and there are more imitators than there are genuinely talented groups with something original to say. Pop music is ultimately disposable and many of its listeners are not hardcore fans of music, they just seek the immediate gratification of a hit song. This is not normally the case with metal. Many people who listen to metal will do so for their entire lives.

Back to false metal. I have seen many different definitions of the term, but here is mine: false metal bands claim to be metal or seek to be affiliated with the metal scene, however their music bears little or no resemblance to metal.

There is a spectrum of course. To meet my definition of metal though, a band must be predominantly metal, that is a majority of their sound is metal. If a band is more hardcore than metal, they are not a metal band.

I do not deny that many false metal bands may actually have some metal influence, however some influence is not enough to actually consider a band metal. Take the case of Korn. Undoubtedly Korn has some metal influences in their music. For example, the breakdown in the song "Ball Tongue" off their debut album is lifted from Morbid Angel's "Angel of Disease". Korn also has very strong rap/hip hop influences as claimed by their bassist Fieldy. No one would suggest however that Korn is a rap/hip hop group, so then why do people try to pass them off as a metal band? Their metal influences are really no greater than their rap influences. Korn is principally influenced by alternative rock and grunge music with some other influences thrown in, and that is therefore what they are.

Slipknot is in much the same position albeit with fewer rap influences and more metal influences. Nevertheless, their grunge/hard rock influences actually dominate their sound. Slipknot has much more in common with Korn than it does with Metallica/Pantera/Cannibal Corpse/whoever the hell else people claim they sound like.

Avenged Sevenfold is another example. This is a band that fits the above definition of a group having more hardcore influences than metal influences. Yet the band claims itself to be a metal band. I have tried several times to listen to them and figure out where their metal influences are and have come to the conclusion that there may be a metal riff in each song, but by and large, metal is completely lacking. Besides the band is ungodly terrible, particularly after their singer M. Shadows lost his voice, his vocals now consist of high-pitched whining. Besides their music, visually the band resembles what would happen if Guns 'n Roses and My Chemical Romance mated. Further destroying the band's metal credibility is their affiliation with Good Charlotte which includes one of the guitarists contributing a solo to a GC song.

All that being said, here is a partial list of bands that fit my definition of false metal:
Avenged Sevenfold
Disturbed
Godsmack
Guns 'n Roses
I Killed the Prom Queen
Korn
Mudvayne
Parkway Drive
Seether
Sevendust
Slipknot
Stone Sour

Rotting Christ Discography

Rotting Christ is one of my favorite bands, and also one of my favorite bands to namedrop into a conversation because their name is so patently offensive that the reactions, especially in a small Christian community, are utterly hilarious.

EARLY YEARS

Early in their career, Rotting Christ was actually a grindcore band. They only put out a couple of demos in that style before moving on to their more familiar black metal sound. As these demos are rare, I have never heard them and cannot comment on the quality.

BLACK METAL

Rotting Christ was a part of the second wave of black metal, and one of the elite acts in Greece. Greek black metal, often referred to as Hellenic black metal, had more of an emphasis on atmosphere than their Norwegian and Swedish counterparts. It was not as well-known as the other scenes, but produced some very fine bands as well; along with Rotting Christ, there was Varathron, Septicflesh, Necromantia, Thou Art Lord, and Kawir.

At this time, Rotting Christ released several terrific records. The 1991 EP Passage to Arcturo is one of the first well-known Rotting Christ albums. The sound was raw but did contain the atmosphere that would later become known as Rotting Christ's trademark. The sound would be perfected on Thy Mighty Contract, the band's official full length debut in 1993, and further smoothed out on Non Serviam, their 1994 sophomore album.

GOTHIC ELEMENTS

Soon thereafter, Rotting Christ began experimenting with some Moonspell-like gothic elements which would come to dominate their sound on their 1997 album A Dead Poem. This is one of their least popular releases with fans, yet it contains some of their catchiest songs such as "Among Two Storms." Rather than continue in this style though, the band took a step back and incorporated the gothic elements into their previous black metal style.

NOW

The two styles melded seemlessly, the band has released amazing album after amazing album, culminating in the fantastic Theogonia. Easily my favorite album of 2007, the band has paid homage to their roots by incorporating Greek rhythms and instrumentation into their music while remaining firmly entrenched in their metal style.

I urge the reader not to be turned off by the band's name. This is a truly great band that should not be ignored.