This one is slightly better than the last trainwreck of a Metal Edge sampler. Onwards.
MONSTER MAGNET: "WALL OF FIRE"
I always enjoyed Monster Magnet, particularly their spacy, drugged-out stuff of the mid 1990's. Dopes to Infinity is a great album, but then they became just another stoner rock band. There's not much to really distinguish them from Queens of the Stone Age anymore to be honest. They still write some catchy stuff, but the magic is gone. This song does not change my opinion.
HELLOWEEN: "PAINT A NEW WORLD"
This was the best song off of the newest Helloween album, which I own. For a brief moment, they have made a return to their speed metal days. Their last album was a magnificent return to form for the band and quite possibly their best since the Keeper of the Seven Keys albums. I already own this album.
SEETHER: "FMLYHM"
I hate Seether with every fiber of my being. There I said it. They are the worst of the Nickelback clones, unoriginal and fucking boring. This acronym apparently stands for "Fuck me like you hate me". I do hate you Seether, but no, just no. NFM.
OM: "UNITIVE KNOWLEDGE OF THE GODHEAD"
The other band that formed out of the ashes of Sleep, High on Fire is the other. Om is much more drawn-out and experimental than High on Fire. Om is a stoner doom metal band that specializes in slow dirges. It's not as slow as funeral doom however. It's an interesting song, and I do love stoner doom, but this one is not quite good enough to get me to check the band out further yet.
THE BLACK DAHLIA MURDER: "WHAT A HORRIBLE NIGHT TO HAVE A CURSE"
I own this album. The song title is a reference to a Castlevania NES game. TBDM often get unfairly lumped in with the metalcore scene, since they are from America and tour with a lot of those other bands, but their sound is clearly At the Gates-inspired melodeath. This is a great example. Very good band that I wish people would listen to before writing them off. I was guilty of it once too, but I figured it out.
MOTORHEAD: "R.A.M.O.N.E.S."
A Motorhead tribute to The Ramones. I like Motorhead quite a bit but don't really care for The Ramones. It's an okay song, but I'll pass.
POLKADOT CADAVER: "WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?"
What a stupid band name. It starts out standard death metal with some keyboards but then this bizarre almost polka section starts. I'm not kidding. It's truly the most awful thing I have ever heard. This song blows. NFM.
SCUM OF THE EARTH: "I AM MONSTER"
Metal Edge was really pushing this album by Rob Zombie's former guitarist. My apathy is palpable. NFM.
DEMON HUNTER: "FADING AWAY"
I don't care for Demon Hunter. It's not the Christian thing, not at all. I have mentioned several Christian bands I enjoy in the past. It's the fact that they saw it as a wise decision to blend nu-metal with metalcore. Seriously. What the fuck were they thinking? NFM.
ELECTRIC WIZARD: "DUNWICH"
Probably the greatest stoner doom metal band ever. This is a fantastic, mesmerizing song, pulled out of an H.P. Lovecraft album. EW provides just the kind of slow, lumbering, horrifying music to fit the doom and gloom of the original story. I own this album. The band has a new one coming out soon, looking forward to it.
CIRCUS MAXIMUS: "WITHER"
This is a progressive metal band in the vein of Dream Theater. This song is pretty decent. The choruses are definitely a highlight and feature some Queensryche-esque vocals. I actually like this quite a bit.
FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH: "THE BLEEDING"
This is another terrible band that is inexplicably popular in the mainstream. I never understood it either. They're like a retro nu-metal band, a thing which I keep hoping does not come back but, against the wishes of us all, seems determined to do so. NFM.
CURSE OF DISOBEDIENCE: "CARVED IN STONE"
Totally nondescript Nickelback clone. I was expecting something decent with the band's name, but this is worthless. NFM.
BLACKLIST UNION: "EVERYTHING YOU NEED"
This is just terrible. I don't even want to describe it. I finally hit the skip button. NFM.
S.E.X. DEPARTMENT: "REVENGE OF VAMPIRES"
Oh lord. See above. I'm done, twenty seconds into this. NFM.
Showing posts with label metal edge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label metal edge. Show all posts
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Compilations: Metal Edge Oct. 2007
To make up for the fact that this will be my last post until I get back from vacation midweek next week, I have decided to satiate the sadists out there and torture myself by doing a compilation post on a Metal Edge CD. I received two issues of Metal Edge soon after subscribing to Metal Maniacs because they couldn't figure out that I actually subscribed to Metal Maniacs. I made two angry phone calls each time I received this magazine. For those unfamiliar with Metal Edge, it's a metal magazine for people who have never heard that there is music out there other than the shit they show on MTV. So there you go.
OVERKILL: "SKULL AND BONES"
Okay this is a good start. I love Overkill, but I get the feeling that the only reason this song is here is because of the guest vocalist, Randy Blythe of Lamb of God. Overkill does not really fit for this magazine, but Lamb of God certainly does. Anyway, I have this album so I don't feel the need to comment further.
12 STONES: "ADRENALINE"
The only thing I knew about this band before hearing this was that the singer was the male growler on that Evanescence song. After hearing this, I long for better days. NFM, Nickelback wannabe, but they're Christian. The only thing that makes Nickelback redeemable at all is the dirty songs. I'm guessing 12 Stones doesn't even do that.
DETHKLOK: "BLOODROCUTED"
You can tell you're in for a bumpy ride when one of the best songs on the album is by Dethklok. I am not saying anything negative about it, it's just weird. I actually really like the vocals, especially the rhythms. It's competent, but nothing mind-blowing.
BLACKLIST UNION: "AFTER THE MOURNING"
There's been a minor retro-glam movement in recent years. This band is an example. The retro-glam movement is terrible. Thereby the transitive property, this band is terrible. Take that, logic. NFM.
H.I.M.: "KISS OF DAWN"
Lame, lovesick gothic rock for vapid Hot Topic girls. No thanks. NFM.
SCUM OF THE EARTH: "BOMBSHELL FROM HELL"
Rob Zombie's onetime guitarist formed his own band and named it after a Rob Zombie song. Sounds basically like watered-down Zombie too. No thanks. NFM.
LIZZY BORDEN:"APPOINTMENT WITH DEATH"
I've never been a fan of Lizzy Borden, but neither have I really minded them. They're pretty over-the-top glam metal, but it's not bad, and it's certainly better than most of the rest of the bullshit on this thing. Essentially, this is Twisted Sister playing speed metal with some Nitro thrown in. The vocals get a little annoying.
BOBAFLEX:"THAT OLE SPEED"
If Boba Fett raped a SoloFlex and it had a child? What does the name mean? More importantly, what the hell is this terrible music? It's a retro nu-metal band of all things. The world is coming to an end. NFM.
STILL REMAINS: "STAY CAPTIVE"
Semi-competent metalcore band. This is an okay song, and sounds great next to the rest of the crap on here. The vocals are obnoxious and this is certainly nothing I haven't heard a thousand times before by better bands, but it's still better than that Bobaflex bullshit.
WITCHCRAFT: "IF CRIMSON WAS YOUR COLOUR"
Doom metal in the vein of early Pentagram. This is some good shit. Wow, I'm surprised I found a band to check out in this mess. This is old school stuff, very melodic and they even got the organ sound right. Wow.
OF HEARTS AND SHADOWS: "SLEEPLESS UNDER THE CITY"
Ugh, emo-sounding shit. Raping my ears. NFM.
HEMLOCK: "MY EYES ITCH"
Try pouring salt in them. This actually is not too bad. They're more of a groove metal band in the vein of Machine Head or Pantera. It's not at all original but it's not a total travesty either.
N3V3R 3NOU6H: "70 7H3 8O77OM"
Seriously? What the fuck is this shit, write like a normal person you text-message-obsessed, pointy-headed fuckface. The music is just as awful, possibly pre-dating the screamo crunk cancer that swept over the U.S. recently. Awful stuff, seriously.
OH THE HORROR: "HOW TO FUCK A MODEL"
Something these guys will never do. This is basically just a hardcore band with some very minor metal influences, and it fucking sucks. NFM.
That's it kids, see you in a week.
OVERKILL: "SKULL AND BONES"
Okay this is a good start. I love Overkill, but I get the feeling that the only reason this song is here is because of the guest vocalist, Randy Blythe of Lamb of God. Overkill does not really fit for this magazine, but Lamb of God certainly does. Anyway, I have this album so I don't feel the need to comment further.
12 STONES: "ADRENALINE"
The only thing I knew about this band before hearing this was that the singer was the male growler on that Evanescence song. After hearing this, I long for better days. NFM, Nickelback wannabe, but they're Christian. The only thing that makes Nickelback redeemable at all is the dirty songs. I'm guessing 12 Stones doesn't even do that.
DETHKLOK: "BLOODROCUTED"
You can tell you're in for a bumpy ride when one of the best songs on the album is by Dethklok. I am not saying anything negative about it, it's just weird. I actually really like the vocals, especially the rhythms. It's competent, but nothing mind-blowing.
BLACKLIST UNION: "AFTER THE MOURNING"
There's been a minor retro-glam movement in recent years. This band is an example. The retro-glam movement is terrible. Thereby the transitive property, this band is terrible. Take that, logic. NFM.
H.I.M.: "KISS OF DAWN"
Lame, lovesick gothic rock for vapid Hot Topic girls. No thanks. NFM.
SCUM OF THE EARTH: "BOMBSHELL FROM HELL"
Rob Zombie's onetime guitarist formed his own band and named it after a Rob Zombie song. Sounds basically like watered-down Zombie too. No thanks. NFM.
LIZZY BORDEN:"APPOINTMENT WITH DEATH"
I've never been a fan of Lizzy Borden, but neither have I really minded them. They're pretty over-the-top glam metal, but it's not bad, and it's certainly better than most of the rest of the bullshit on this thing. Essentially, this is Twisted Sister playing speed metal with some Nitro thrown in. The vocals get a little annoying.
BOBAFLEX:"THAT OLE SPEED"
If Boba Fett raped a SoloFlex and it had a child? What does the name mean? More importantly, what the hell is this terrible music? It's a retro nu-metal band of all things. The world is coming to an end. NFM.
STILL REMAINS: "STAY CAPTIVE"
Semi-competent metalcore band. This is an okay song, and sounds great next to the rest of the crap on here. The vocals are obnoxious and this is certainly nothing I haven't heard a thousand times before by better bands, but it's still better than that Bobaflex bullshit.
WITCHCRAFT: "IF CRIMSON WAS YOUR COLOUR"
Doom metal in the vein of early Pentagram. This is some good shit. Wow, I'm surprised I found a band to check out in this mess. This is old school stuff, very melodic and they even got the organ sound right. Wow.
OF HEARTS AND SHADOWS: "SLEEPLESS UNDER THE CITY"
Ugh, emo-sounding shit. Raping my ears. NFM.
HEMLOCK: "MY EYES ITCH"
Try pouring salt in them. This actually is not too bad. They're more of a groove metal band in the vein of Machine Head or Pantera. It's not at all original but it's not a total travesty either.
N3V3R 3NOU6H: "70 7H3 8O77OM"
Seriously? What the fuck is this shit, write like a normal person you text-message-obsessed, pointy-headed fuckface. The music is just as awful, possibly pre-dating the screamo crunk cancer that swept over the U.S. recently. Awful stuff, seriously.
OH THE HORROR: "HOW TO FUCK A MODEL"
Something these guys will never do. This is basically just a hardcore band with some very minor metal influences, and it fucking sucks. NFM.
That's it kids, see you in a week.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Metal Edge Magazine: The Redheaded Stepchild of Metal Maniacs
Technically, it's the sister publication of Metal Maniacs, which doesn't help explain why it so terrible. After Metal Maniacs folded, I was left without a decent metal magazine. Metal Edge folded at the same time. I am significantly less saddened by that though. However in moving to a new town, I uncovered two issues of Metal Edge that I forgot that I had. I would have thought that I had thrown them away, but no, there they were in a tub with a bunch of my law school books, mocking me. Bastards.
Let's look at this magazine for a second, before I pitch them in the trash where they belong. I got them shortly after subscribing to Metal Maniacs. For the first two months, they sent me this magazine instead. Something I was unhappy about from the very beginning. I had to call twice in order to get the company to send me the right magazine.
I knew I was doomed from the very beginning when the band featured on the cover was the whiny gothic rock band HIM. The rest of the magazine featured such false metal luminaries as 12 Stones, Of Hearts and Shadows, and Yakuza. There were also features on incredibly mainstream metal acts like Machine Head and Still Remains. There was some coverage on groups like Candlemass, Dark Tranquillity, and Immolation, but nothing that had not been done better in Metal Maniacs. The review section was awful with glowing reviews of false metal trash like Adema (formerly known as the terrible nu-metal band with Jonathan Davis's inept half-brother on vocals), August Burns Red, and Bloodsimple. The only saving graces of this magazine were a few reviews on real metal releases and the information on Amoeba Music in Los Angeles, a store I would like to see some time soon.
The second issue featured a decent, albeit mainstream band on the cover, The Black Dahlia Murder. But it quickly shot that goodwill in the foot by featuring a large article on Coheed & Cambria, a band not metal by any stretch of the imagination. Coheed & Cambria plays obnoxious progressive geek rock with terrible high-pitched vocals. I am not a fan. There's also a large article on Avenged Sevenfold, a band discussed in this blog a few times. Seriously, every time I see a picture of this band, I want to wretch. Once again, there is some decent material, a page discussing Witchcraft, Aeon, Epica, an article about Annete Olzon of Nightwish and Flor Jansen of After Forever, an article about Katatonia, and some decent reviews including one discussing recent Metal Mind reissues of Artillery, Defiance, Paradox, and Znowhite. Then there is the glowing review of Dillinger Escape Plan's recent clusterfuck of noise Ire Works, calling it a fucking masterpiece.
Metal Edge also includes a free CD with the magazine. Out of 14 songs on the first month's CD, six were by actual metal bands. Of the 15 songs on the second month's CD, seven were by actual metal bands. That's less than half, a very poor average for a magazine with "Metal" in it's fucking name.
Overall, I would have only recommended this magazine to early teenagers just getting into the music with the advice to use it as a stepping stone to something better. I will keep looking for a new metal magazine. Thankfully this one folded along with Metal Maniacs. Maybe one day, Metal Maniacs will be revived.
Let's look at this magazine for a second, before I pitch them in the trash where they belong. I got them shortly after subscribing to Metal Maniacs. For the first two months, they sent me this magazine instead. Something I was unhappy about from the very beginning. I had to call twice in order to get the company to send me the right magazine.
I knew I was doomed from the very beginning when the band featured on the cover was the whiny gothic rock band HIM. The rest of the magazine featured such false metal luminaries as 12 Stones, Of Hearts and Shadows, and Yakuza. There were also features on incredibly mainstream metal acts like Machine Head and Still Remains. There was some coverage on groups like Candlemass, Dark Tranquillity, and Immolation, but nothing that had not been done better in Metal Maniacs. The review section was awful with glowing reviews of false metal trash like Adema (formerly known as the terrible nu-metal band with Jonathan Davis's inept half-brother on vocals), August Burns Red, and Bloodsimple. The only saving graces of this magazine were a few reviews on real metal releases and the information on Amoeba Music in Los Angeles, a store I would like to see some time soon.
The second issue featured a decent, albeit mainstream band on the cover, The Black Dahlia Murder. But it quickly shot that goodwill in the foot by featuring a large article on Coheed & Cambria, a band not metal by any stretch of the imagination. Coheed & Cambria plays obnoxious progressive geek rock with terrible high-pitched vocals. I am not a fan. There's also a large article on Avenged Sevenfold, a band discussed in this blog a few times. Seriously, every time I see a picture of this band, I want to wretch. Once again, there is some decent material, a page discussing Witchcraft, Aeon, Epica, an article about Annete Olzon of Nightwish and Flor Jansen of After Forever, an article about Katatonia, and some decent reviews including one discussing recent Metal Mind reissues of Artillery, Defiance, Paradox, and Znowhite. Then there is the glowing review of Dillinger Escape Plan's recent clusterfuck of noise Ire Works, calling it a fucking masterpiece.
Metal Edge also includes a free CD with the magazine. Out of 14 songs on the first month's CD, six were by actual metal bands. Of the 15 songs on the second month's CD, seven were by actual metal bands. That's less than half, a very poor average for a magazine with "Metal" in it's fucking name.
Overall, I would have only recommended this magazine to early teenagers just getting into the music with the advice to use it as a stepping stone to something better. I will keep looking for a new metal magazine. Thankfully this one folded along with Metal Maniacs. Maybe one day, Metal Maniacs will be revived.
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