This one is slightly better than the last trainwreck of a Metal Edge sampler. Onwards.
MONSTER MAGNET: "WALL OF FIRE"
I always enjoyed Monster Magnet, particularly their spacy, drugged-out stuff of the mid 1990's. Dopes to Infinity is a great album, but then they became just another stoner rock band. There's not much to really distinguish them from Queens of the Stone Age anymore to be honest. They still write some catchy stuff, but the magic is gone. This song does not change my opinion.
HELLOWEEN: "PAINT A NEW WORLD"
This was the best song off of the newest Helloween album, which I own. For a brief moment, they have made a return to their speed metal days. Their last album was a magnificent return to form for the band and quite possibly their best since the Keeper of the Seven Keys albums. I already own this album.
SEETHER: "FMLYHM"
I hate Seether with every fiber of my being. There I said it. They are the worst of the Nickelback clones, unoriginal and fucking boring. This acronym apparently stands for "Fuck me like you hate me". I do hate you Seether, but no, just no. NFM.
OM: "UNITIVE KNOWLEDGE OF THE GODHEAD"
The other band that formed out of the ashes of Sleep, High on Fire is the other. Om is much more drawn-out and experimental than High on Fire. Om is a stoner doom metal band that specializes in slow dirges. It's not as slow as funeral doom however. It's an interesting song, and I do love stoner doom, but this one is not quite good enough to get me to check the band out further yet.
THE BLACK DAHLIA MURDER: "WHAT A HORRIBLE NIGHT TO HAVE A CURSE"
I own this album. The song title is a reference to a Castlevania NES game. TBDM often get unfairly lumped in with the metalcore scene, since they are from America and tour with a lot of those other bands, but their sound is clearly At the Gates-inspired melodeath. This is a great example. Very good band that I wish people would listen to before writing them off. I was guilty of it once too, but I figured it out.
MOTORHEAD: "R.A.M.O.N.E.S."
A Motorhead tribute to The Ramones. I like Motorhead quite a bit but don't really care for The Ramones. It's an okay song, but I'll pass.
POLKADOT CADAVER: "WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?"
What a stupid band name. It starts out standard death metal with some keyboards but then this bizarre almost polka section starts. I'm not kidding. It's truly the most awful thing I have ever heard. This song blows. NFM.
SCUM OF THE EARTH: "I AM MONSTER"
Metal Edge was really pushing this album by Rob Zombie's former guitarist. My apathy is palpable. NFM.
DEMON HUNTER: "FADING AWAY"
I don't care for Demon Hunter. It's not the Christian thing, not at all. I have mentioned several Christian bands I enjoy in the past. It's the fact that they saw it as a wise decision to blend nu-metal with metalcore. Seriously. What the fuck were they thinking? NFM.
ELECTRIC WIZARD: "DUNWICH"
Probably the greatest stoner doom metal band ever. This is a fantastic, mesmerizing song, pulled out of an H.P. Lovecraft album. EW provides just the kind of slow, lumbering, horrifying music to fit the doom and gloom of the original story. I own this album. The band has a new one coming out soon, looking forward to it.
CIRCUS MAXIMUS: "WITHER"
This is a progressive metal band in the vein of Dream Theater. This song is pretty decent. The choruses are definitely a highlight and feature some Queensryche-esque vocals. I actually like this quite a bit.
FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH: "THE BLEEDING"
This is another terrible band that is inexplicably popular in the mainstream. I never understood it either. They're like a retro nu-metal band, a thing which I keep hoping does not come back but, against the wishes of us all, seems determined to do so. NFM.
CURSE OF DISOBEDIENCE: "CARVED IN STONE"
Totally nondescript Nickelback clone. I was expecting something decent with the band's name, but this is worthless. NFM.
BLACKLIST UNION: "EVERYTHING YOU NEED"
This is just terrible. I don't even want to describe it. I finally hit the skip button. NFM.
S.E.X. DEPARTMENT: "REVENGE OF VAMPIRES"
Oh lord. See above. I'm done, twenty seconds into this. NFM.
Showing posts with label NFM. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NFM. Show all posts
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Compilations: Metal Edge Oct. 2007
To make up for the fact that this will be my last post until I get back from vacation midweek next week, I have decided to satiate the sadists out there and torture myself by doing a compilation post on a Metal Edge CD. I received two issues of Metal Edge soon after subscribing to Metal Maniacs because they couldn't figure out that I actually subscribed to Metal Maniacs. I made two angry phone calls each time I received this magazine. For those unfamiliar with Metal Edge, it's a metal magazine for people who have never heard that there is music out there other than the shit they show on MTV. So there you go.
OVERKILL: "SKULL AND BONES"
Okay this is a good start. I love Overkill, but I get the feeling that the only reason this song is here is because of the guest vocalist, Randy Blythe of Lamb of God. Overkill does not really fit for this magazine, but Lamb of God certainly does. Anyway, I have this album so I don't feel the need to comment further.
12 STONES: "ADRENALINE"
The only thing I knew about this band before hearing this was that the singer was the male growler on that Evanescence song. After hearing this, I long for better days. NFM, Nickelback wannabe, but they're Christian. The only thing that makes Nickelback redeemable at all is the dirty songs. I'm guessing 12 Stones doesn't even do that.
DETHKLOK: "BLOODROCUTED"
You can tell you're in for a bumpy ride when one of the best songs on the album is by Dethklok. I am not saying anything negative about it, it's just weird. I actually really like the vocals, especially the rhythms. It's competent, but nothing mind-blowing.
BLACKLIST UNION: "AFTER THE MOURNING"
There's been a minor retro-glam movement in recent years. This band is an example. The retro-glam movement is terrible. Thereby the transitive property, this band is terrible. Take that, logic. NFM.
H.I.M.: "KISS OF DAWN"
Lame, lovesick gothic rock for vapid Hot Topic girls. No thanks. NFM.
SCUM OF THE EARTH: "BOMBSHELL FROM HELL"
Rob Zombie's onetime guitarist formed his own band and named it after a Rob Zombie song. Sounds basically like watered-down Zombie too. No thanks. NFM.
LIZZY BORDEN:"APPOINTMENT WITH DEATH"
I've never been a fan of Lizzy Borden, but neither have I really minded them. They're pretty over-the-top glam metal, but it's not bad, and it's certainly better than most of the rest of the bullshit on this thing. Essentially, this is Twisted Sister playing speed metal with some Nitro thrown in. The vocals get a little annoying.
BOBAFLEX:"THAT OLE SPEED"
If Boba Fett raped a SoloFlex and it had a child? What does the name mean? More importantly, what the hell is this terrible music? It's a retro nu-metal band of all things. The world is coming to an end. NFM.
STILL REMAINS: "STAY CAPTIVE"
Semi-competent metalcore band. This is an okay song, and sounds great next to the rest of the crap on here. The vocals are obnoxious and this is certainly nothing I haven't heard a thousand times before by better bands, but it's still better than that Bobaflex bullshit.
WITCHCRAFT: "IF CRIMSON WAS YOUR COLOUR"
Doom metal in the vein of early Pentagram. This is some good shit. Wow, I'm surprised I found a band to check out in this mess. This is old school stuff, very melodic and they even got the organ sound right. Wow.
OF HEARTS AND SHADOWS: "SLEEPLESS UNDER THE CITY"
Ugh, emo-sounding shit. Raping my ears. NFM.
HEMLOCK: "MY EYES ITCH"
Try pouring salt in them. This actually is not too bad. They're more of a groove metal band in the vein of Machine Head or Pantera. It's not at all original but it's not a total travesty either.
N3V3R 3NOU6H: "70 7H3 8O77OM"
Seriously? What the fuck is this shit, write like a normal person you text-message-obsessed, pointy-headed fuckface. The music is just as awful, possibly pre-dating the screamo crunk cancer that swept over the U.S. recently. Awful stuff, seriously.
OH THE HORROR: "HOW TO FUCK A MODEL"
Something these guys will never do. This is basically just a hardcore band with some very minor metal influences, and it fucking sucks. NFM.
That's it kids, see you in a week.
OVERKILL: "SKULL AND BONES"
Okay this is a good start. I love Overkill, but I get the feeling that the only reason this song is here is because of the guest vocalist, Randy Blythe of Lamb of God. Overkill does not really fit for this magazine, but Lamb of God certainly does. Anyway, I have this album so I don't feel the need to comment further.
12 STONES: "ADRENALINE"
The only thing I knew about this band before hearing this was that the singer was the male growler on that Evanescence song. After hearing this, I long for better days. NFM, Nickelback wannabe, but they're Christian. The only thing that makes Nickelback redeemable at all is the dirty songs. I'm guessing 12 Stones doesn't even do that.
DETHKLOK: "BLOODROCUTED"
You can tell you're in for a bumpy ride when one of the best songs on the album is by Dethklok. I am not saying anything negative about it, it's just weird. I actually really like the vocals, especially the rhythms. It's competent, but nothing mind-blowing.
BLACKLIST UNION: "AFTER THE MOURNING"
There's been a minor retro-glam movement in recent years. This band is an example. The retro-glam movement is terrible. Thereby the transitive property, this band is terrible. Take that, logic. NFM.
H.I.M.: "KISS OF DAWN"
Lame, lovesick gothic rock for vapid Hot Topic girls. No thanks. NFM.
SCUM OF THE EARTH: "BOMBSHELL FROM HELL"
Rob Zombie's onetime guitarist formed his own band and named it after a Rob Zombie song. Sounds basically like watered-down Zombie too. No thanks. NFM.
LIZZY BORDEN:"APPOINTMENT WITH DEATH"
I've never been a fan of Lizzy Borden, but neither have I really minded them. They're pretty over-the-top glam metal, but it's not bad, and it's certainly better than most of the rest of the bullshit on this thing. Essentially, this is Twisted Sister playing speed metal with some Nitro thrown in. The vocals get a little annoying.
BOBAFLEX:"THAT OLE SPEED"
If Boba Fett raped a SoloFlex and it had a child? What does the name mean? More importantly, what the hell is this terrible music? It's a retro nu-metal band of all things. The world is coming to an end. NFM.
STILL REMAINS: "STAY CAPTIVE"
Semi-competent metalcore band. This is an okay song, and sounds great next to the rest of the crap on here. The vocals are obnoxious and this is certainly nothing I haven't heard a thousand times before by better bands, but it's still better than that Bobaflex bullshit.
WITCHCRAFT: "IF CRIMSON WAS YOUR COLOUR"
Doom metal in the vein of early Pentagram. This is some good shit. Wow, I'm surprised I found a band to check out in this mess. This is old school stuff, very melodic and they even got the organ sound right. Wow.
OF HEARTS AND SHADOWS: "SLEEPLESS UNDER THE CITY"
Ugh, emo-sounding shit. Raping my ears. NFM.
HEMLOCK: "MY EYES ITCH"
Try pouring salt in them. This actually is not too bad. They're more of a groove metal band in the vein of Machine Head or Pantera. It's not at all original but it's not a total travesty either.
N3V3R 3NOU6H: "70 7H3 8O77OM"
Seriously? What the fuck is this shit, write like a normal person you text-message-obsessed, pointy-headed fuckface. The music is just as awful, possibly pre-dating the screamo crunk cancer that swept over the U.S. recently. Awful stuff, seriously.
OH THE HORROR: "HOW TO FUCK A MODEL"
Something these guys will never do. This is basically just a hardcore band with some very minor metal influences, and it fucking sucks. NFM.
That's it kids, see you in a week.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Dusting Off a Cassette Pt. 47: Radio Mix Tape
I was digging through some of my old music that I never listen to anymore and came across this gem. This is a mix tape I put together sometime around the mid 1990's. This was a time when nu-metal was starting to rear its ugly head. I would have been in eighth or ninth grade at the time this was put together. Back then, I used to sit by the radio with a blank tape and tape songs off of The Blaze. If I liked them, I would frequently get the album. It was at this time that The Blaze had The Power Hour on Wednesday nights when they would play substantially more metal stuff. I loved The Power Hour, and it helped introduce me to Trouble, Voivod, Grave, Paradise Lost, Slayer, and Machine Head, among others. I was very distraught when that show was cancelled. That was the beginning of the end for The Blaze as a decent radio station.
PUBLIC ENEMY W/ ANTHRAX: "BRING THA NOIZE"
This was recorded off of my brother's Public Enemy tape. It's one of the early examples of the crossover between rock and rap. It features Anthrax thrash riffs and the political-minded rap of Public Enemy. I'm pretty sure one of the Anthrax guys takes an ill-fated stab at rapping too. Partially responsible for nu-metal. Not bad though.
DEFTONES: "BORED"
Slow-burning angst-ridden track off their debut. It was enough to get me to buy the album at the time. Not sure I still have it. Never liked it that much. I don't understand the huge amounts of praise this band has always gotten. NFM.
MARILYN MANSON: "LUNCHBOX"
Really? This is one of the better, harder tracks, before he got all gothic and weird. I think I taped this before Marilyn Manson was real well-known. NFM.
TROUBLE: "PLASTIC GREEN HEAD"
This is just a great song. It took me a long time, but I finally decided to pick up this album from the trad doom titans. I have done a post on this album before.
VISIONS: "IN THE MIND'S EYE"
This sounds more like a harder punk or hardcore song. Nothing terribly impressive. I haven't looked into this anymore. NFM.
VOIVOD: "EROSION"
I bought this album, but it didn't have this song on it. Apparently this was only on some versions of the album, which is a shame because it would have been the best track on it. Excellent example of progressive thrash. Voivod is a highly underrated band.
KILGORE SMUDGE: "METAMORPHOSIS"
This is a little-known early nu-metal band. It sounds as good as you would expect. God the vocals are awful. Next please. NFM.
MOTLEY CRUE: "WILDSIDE"
One of the earlier, more metal Motley Crue tracks, this one does sound more like sped-up Priest with some pop influences for good effect.
MOTLEY CURE: "LIVEWIRE"
See above, but even heavier than the prior song. This is the Motley Crue I enjoy the most.
KISS: "HEAVEN'S ON FIRE"
Ugh, what was I thinking? NFM.
KISS: "DOMINO"
I generally prefer Gene Simmons over Paul Stanley when I have to hear Kiss. But this song is really cheesy and a little gross. It's about a famous groupie. He sounds like my grandpa, and that is disturbing on many levels. NFM.
KING'S X: "SOMETIME"
This was disappointing, one of their more blues/rock oriented songs. Not bad, just not what I hoped.
VALLEJO: "BOOGEYMAN"
This has a great bass line, but the vocals suck. Not metal. NFM.
GRAVE: "WORTH THE WAIT"
I now realize this is not the best example of this band's work, but at the time, it blew my mind. Additional points for the Hellraiser 3 sample at the beginning. This thing was awesome. I do own the CD now and it definitely pales in comparison to their other work, but hey, this song got me into them.
PARADISE LOST: "ONCE SOLEMN"
I got the Draconian Times album off of the strength of this song and "Forever Failure". This is a much faster track and is not representative of the band's general sound. The gothic doom band usually plays much slower but they proved they were definitely capable of playing fast on this track.
VOIVOD: "VORTEX"
Another Voivod track off their Negatron album. Another track that does not appear on my version of the album. Disappointing.
MICHELIN SLAVE: "THIS SIDE"
This sounds like some sort of industrial rock. Reminiscent of Ministry at first, although the comparison doesn't hold. It's okay, but I wouldn't check them out. NFM.
SAVATAGE: "HALL OF THE MOUNTAIN KING"
I love this song. One of the all-time great metal riffs. I'm not sure why it took me so long to get this album, I picked it up early this year. I also did a post on this album.
SAVATAGE: "JESUS SAVES"
This was off one of their mid-era albums when they were more interested in putting together rock operas. Still a decent song, and tells a good story. You can definitely see where Trans-Siberian Orchestra evolved out of on this.
SAVATAGE: "HANDFUL OF RAIN"
This is a ballad from Savatage. It's off of a later album. Not bad, but I'm not a huge ballad guy.
CRUSH: "NOWHERE NOW"
This also appears to be some form of industrial rock. Not terribly interesting either. NFM. Next.
SLAYER: "GEMINI"
This track appeared on their punk covers album and is the only new track on it. A decent song, but it has absolutely nothing on their 1980's material. This is much slower, but still violent and abrasive.
CANNIBAL CORPSE: "MONOLITH"
The first time I heard this version of Cannibal Corpse, I didn't like it. I preferred Chris Barnes's vocals. Corpsegrinder's eventually grew on me, but the first several albums with him were not real great.
THE EXPLOITED: "BEAT THE BASTARDS"
The Exploited was a heavy punk band that began incorporating more and more thrash metal influences into their music. This track is from the height of their metal influence and is basically a crossover track. It's a hell of a lot of fun.
MACHINE HEAD: "DAVIDIAN"
Machine Head sounded real fucking heavy at the time. Now, I recognize they were just a groove metal band riding Pantera's coattails, but this was a time in which the major hard rock played on the radio was from groups like Korn and Soundgarden. This is still a decent song and it is off Machine Head's best album in my opinion.
PUBLIC ENEMY W/ ANTHRAX: "BRING THA NOIZE"
This was recorded off of my brother's Public Enemy tape. It's one of the early examples of the crossover between rock and rap. It features Anthrax thrash riffs and the political-minded rap of Public Enemy. I'm pretty sure one of the Anthrax guys takes an ill-fated stab at rapping too. Partially responsible for nu-metal. Not bad though.
DEFTONES: "BORED"
Slow-burning angst-ridden track off their debut. It was enough to get me to buy the album at the time. Not sure I still have it. Never liked it that much. I don't understand the huge amounts of praise this band has always gotten. NFM.
MARILYN MANSON: "LUNCHBOX"
Really? This is one of the better, harder tracks, before he got all gothic and weird. I think I taped this before Marilyn Manson was real well-known. NFM.
TROUBLE: "PLASTIC GREEN HEAD"
This is just a great song. It took me a long time, but I finally decided to pick up this album from the trad doom titans. I have done a post on this album before.
VISIONS: "IN THE MIND'S EYE"
This sounds more like a harder punk or hardcore song. Nothing terribly impressive. I haven't looked into this anymore. NFM.
VOIVOD: "EROSION"
I bought this album, but it didn't have this song on it. Apparently this was only on some versions of the album, which is a shame because it would have been the best track on it. Excellent example of progressive thrash. Voivod is a highly underrated band.
KILGORE SMUDGE: "METAMORPHOSIS"
This is a little-known early nu-metal band. It sounds as good as you would expect. God the vocals are awful. Next please. NFM.
MOTLEY CRUE: "WILDSIDE"
One of the earlier, more metal Motley Crue tracks, this one does sound more like sped-up Priest with some pop influences for good effect.
MOTLEY CURE: "LIVEWIRE"
See above, but even heavier than the prior song. This is the Motley Crue I enjoy the most.
KISS: "HEAVEN'S ON FIRE"
Ugh, what was I thinking? NFM.
KISS: "DOMINO"
I generally prefer Gene Simmons over Paul Stanley when I have to hear Kiss. But this song is really cheesy and a little gross. It's about a famous groupie. He sounds like my grandpa, and that is disturbing on many levels. NFM.
KING'S X: "SOMETIME"
This was disappointing, one of their more blues/rock oriented songs. Not bad, just not what I hoped.
VALLEJO: "BOOGEYMAN"
This has a great bass line, but the vocals suck. Not metal. NFM.
GRAVE: "WORTH THE WAIT"
I now realize this is not the best example of this band's work, but at the time, it blew my mind. Additional points for the Hellraiser 3 sample at the beginning. This thing was awesome. I do own the CD now and it definitely pales in comparison to their other work, but hey, this song got me into them.
PARADISE LOST: "ONCE SOLEMN"
I got the Draconian Times album off of the strength of this song and "Forever Failure". This is a much faster track and is not representative of the band's general sound. The gothic doom band usually plays much slower but they proved they were definitely capable of playing fast on this track.
VOIVOD: "VORTEX"
Another Voivod track off their Negatron album. Another track that does not appear on my version of the album. Disappointing.
MICHELIN SLAVE: "THIS SIDE"
This sounds like some sort of industrial rock. Reminiscent of Ministry at first, although the comparison doesn't hold. It's okay, but I wouldn't check them out. NFM.
SAVATAGE: "HALL OF THE MOUNTAIN KING"
I love this song. One of the all-time great metal riffs. I'm not sure why it took me so long to get this album, I picked it up early this year. I also did a post on this album.
SAVATAGE: "JESUS SAVES"
This was off one of their mid-era albums when they were more interested in putting together rock operas. Still a decent song, and tells a good story. You can definitely see where Trans-Siberian Orchestra evolved out of on this.
SAVATAGE: "HANDFUL OF RAIN"
This is a ballad from Savatage. It's off of a later album. Not bad, but I'm not a huge ballad guy.
CRUSH: "NOWHERE NOW"
This also appears to be some form of industrial rock. Not terribly interesting either. NFM. Next.
SLAYER: "GEMINI"
This track appeared on their punk covers album and is the only new track on it. A decent song, but it has absolutely nothing on their 1980's material. This is much slower, but still violent and abrasive.
CANNIBAL CORPSE: "MONOLITH"
The first time I heard this version of Cannibal Corpse, I didn't like it. I preferred Chris Barnes's vocals. Corpsegrinder's eventually grew on me, but the first several albums with him were not real great.
THE EXPLOITED: "BEAT THE BASTARDS"
The Exploited was a heavy punk band that began incorporating more and more thrash metal influences into their music. This track is from the height of their metal influence and is basically a crossover track. It's a hell of a lot of fun.
MACHINE HEAD: "DAVIDIAN"
Machine Head sounded real fucking heavy at the time. Now, I recognize they were just a groove metal band riding Pantera's coattails, but this was a time in which the major hard rock played on the radio was from groups like Korn and Soundgarden. This is still a decent song and it is off Machine Head's best album in my opinion.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Dusting Off a Cassette Pt. 40: Monsters of Rock Vol. 2: Metal Masters
I don't even remember how I ended up with this. I went through a phase where I picked up a lot of compilation albums. I think I got Vol. 3, which I kind of liked, then picked this up. With a couple of exceptions, this one is pretty terrible. I guess it wouldn't be if I loved the hair metal/rock scene, which I don't. I like some bands, but not many. Very few of these bands are any good.
KISS: "I JUST WANNA"
Kiss was terrible and embarrassing when they did the facepaint thing. Then they took it off and somehow managed to get worse. This song is excruciatingly bad. No redeeming qualities. NFM.
SCORPIONS: "ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE"
Ah, this song I like. I have always loved this song. This might have been one of the reasons I picked this album up. Sure it's cheesy but this song is great.
KROKUS: "MIDNITE MANIAC"
Krokus used to be good. They were not good on this song, sounding like an unholy cross between AC/DC and Poison. Ugh.
ACCEPT: "BALLS TO THE WALL"
This is another great song. An early German metal band that had a major influence on power metal. This is the route mainstream metal should have taken, instead of the awful hair metal scene.
VIXEN: "EDGE OF A BROKEN HEART"
Okay, this song is supposed to be some hard-rocking song by a group of women. It's supposed to be sign that women could rock just as hard as men. Yet, it was written by Richard Marx. Enough said. NFM.
The whole second side of this is terrible, schlocky 1980's hair rock. I won't go into detail. Here's the track list. I hate all four of them. All four are NFM.
WARRANT: "MACHINE GUN"
FIREHOUSE: "HOLD YOUR FIRE"
TRIXTER: "GIVE IT TO ME GOOD"
STEELHEART: "I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO (ANGEL EYES)"
So, two worthwhile tracks on the whole thing. Metal Masters, indeed. Blech. I almost never listen to this anymore for good reason. Next Dusting Off a Cassette will feature Vol. 3 of this series which is a hundred times better.
KISS: "I JUST WANNA"
Kiss was terrible and embarrassing when they did the facepaint thing. Then they took it off and somehow managed to get worse. This song is excruciatingly bad. No redeeming qualities. NFM.
SCORPIONS: "ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE"
Ah, this song I like. I have always loved this song. This might have been one of the reasons I picked this album up. Sure it's cheesy but this song is great.
KROKUS: "MIDNITE MANIAC"
Krokus used to be good. They were not good on this song, sounding like an unholy cross between AC/DC and Poison. Ugh.
ACCEPT: "BALLS TO THE WALL"
This is another great song. An early German metal band that had a major influence on power metal. This is the route mainstream metal should have taken, instead of the awful hair metal scene.
VIXEN: "EDGE OF A BROKEN HEART"
Okay, this song is supposed to be some hard-rocking song by a group of women. It's supposed to be sign that women could rock just as hard as men. Yet, it was written by Richard Marx. Enough said. NFM.
The whole second side of this is terrible, schlocky 1980's hair rock. I won't go into detail. Here's the track list. I hate all four of them. All four are NFM.
WARRANT: "MACHINE GUN"
FIREHOUSE: "HOLD YOUR FIRE"
TRIXTER: "GIVE IT TO ME GOOD"
STEELHEART: "I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO (ANGEL EYES)"
So, two worthwhile tracks on the whole thing. Metal Masters, indeed. Blech. I almost never listen to this anymore for good reason. Next Dusting Off a Cassette will feature Vol. 3 of this series which is a hundred times better.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Revolver Golden Gods 2010: Another Failure
http://www.noisecreep.com/2010/04/13/2010-revolver-golden-gods-award-winners/
Apparently this actually happened a couple of nights ago. And the real question is, how much of a failure was it?
Here's the winners list with some random thoughts from me:
BEST GUITARIST
Zakk Wylde (Black Label Society)
-Eh, I don't agree. Wylde was somewhat revolutionary in the early 1990's when he joined Ozzy Osbourne, but his style is somewhat tired now. I've never been a very big fan of his solo work at all.
BEST DRUMMER
Jimmy 'The Rev' Sullivan (Avenged Sevenfold)
-I mentioned this before, but I suspect this is entirely a tribute since he died earlier in the year. I've never been particularly impressed. Also, the glorious return of NFM.
BEST VOCALIST
Ronnie James Dio (Heaven & Hell)
-Agreed.
ALBUM OF THE YEAR
Alice in Chains, 'Black Gives Way to Blue'
-Somewhat outside the box. Certainly a good album, but I'm not sure I agree with Album of the Year.
BEST LIVE BAND
Metallica
-Damn fine live band.
BEST UNDERGROUND BAND
Dillinger Escape Plan
-Disagree. I've mentioned it before, I do not get why this band is so popular. I cannot get into them at all. To each their own. NFM.
MOST METAL ATHLETE
Marc Colombo, Cory Procter, and Leonard Davis (Dallas Cowboys offensive linemen and members of Free Reign)
-Free Reign sucks. NFM.
HOTTEST CHICK(S) IN METAL
Maria Brink (In This Moment)
-I don't see her appeal either. She's a terrible vocalist. She has a big rack, that's about it.
HONORARY HEADBANGER
Robert England, aka Freddy Kruger
-Is he really into metal?
Fail.
Apparently this actually happened a couple of nights ago. And the real question is, how much of a failure was it?
Here's the winners list with some random thoughts from me:
BEST GUITARIST
Zakk Wylde (Black Label Society)
-Eh, I don't agree. Wylde was somewhat revolutionary in the early 1990's when he joined Ozzy Osbourne, but his style is somewhat tired now. I've never been a very big fan of his solo work at all.
BEST DRUMMER
Jimmy 'The Rev' Sullivan (Avenged Sevenfold)
-I mentioned this before, but I suspect this is entirely a tribute since he died earlier in the year. I've never been particularly impressed. Also, the glorious return of NFM.
BEST VOCALIST
Ronnie James Dio (Heaven & Hell)
-Agreed.
ALBUM OF THE YEAR
Alice in Chains, 'Black Gives Way to Blue'
-Somewhat outside the box. Certainly a good album, but I'm not sure I agree with Album of the Year.
BEST LIVE BAND
Metallica
-Damn fine live band.
BEST UNDERGROUND BAND
Dillinger Escape Plan
-Disagree. I've mentioned it before, I do not get why this band is so popular. I cannot get into them at all. To each their own. NFM.
MOST METAL ATHLETE
Marc Colombo, Cory Procter, and Leonard Davis (Dallas Cowboys offensive linemen and members of Free Reign)
-Free Reign sucks. NFM.
HOTTEST CHICK(S) IN METAL
Maria Brink (In This Moment)
-I don't see her appeal either. She's a terrible vocalist. She has a big rack, that's about it.
HONORARY HEADBANGER
Robert England, aka Freddy Kruger
-Is he really into metal?
Fail.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Century Media Carnival of Sounds Compilation
I received this CD sampler from Century Media along with a free CD that I got as a result of getting 10 Century Media proofs of purchase, my favorite thing about the company. The CD was Nevermore's Dreaming Neon Black, which was excellent. This, on the other hand, is mostly a pile of crap. Still, I'm not usually one to quibble with free music. And, if you believe that, you're incredibly gullible.
Century Media used to be one of the major labels involved in bringing European metal to the United States, something I am very grateful for. However, in recent years, the company has proven to be just as trendwhorish as Roadrunner, a company I have maligned at least a couple of times on this blog. Century Media is currently busy gobbling up as many deathcore bands as it can find before the bottom completely drops out of the market. Considering that deathcore has been fairly crappy to begin with, excepting a few bands, one can imagine what this has done to the label's reputation in metal circles.
Shall we begin?
WINDS OF PLAGUE: "Soldiers of Doomsday"
Blackened symphonic deathcore? That's apparently the genre tag that is given to this band. I've got an easier one for it: crap. Incredibly ambitious, the band nevertheless falls completely on its collective face. Think Dimmu Borgir, with lots and lots of breakdowns, and try not to recoil in terror. The band is obviously talented, but really can't write a decent song, at least not here, they're just trying too hard.
DIVINE HERESY: "Facebreaker"
This is the band started by Dino Casares while Fear Factory was on hiatus. I'm not sure of the intention in starting this band. The same death metal elements and industrial metal elements are here as are on Fear Factory, but lo and behold, breakdowns! So, apparently Dino wanted a band that had the same elements as Fear Factory, plus hardcore. Sign me up! Or not. There is also an overuse of blast beats here, seemingly the only thing the drummer can do is blast away. This further detracts from the experience because the rest of the music cannot be heard.
SUICIDE SILENCE: "Wake Up"
Perhaps this band is unfairly lumped in with the deathcore crowd. I don't know, to me they sound more like a grindcore band than a deathcore band. Nevertheless, they remain oddly popular with the deathcore scene. For the most part, this is just chaotic noise. There's no real structure here, certainly not falling into the metal genre structure. Therefore, NFM.
NAPALM DEATH: "Strong Arm"
Napalm Death is one of the godfathers of grindcore. They are also one of the first bands to experiment with combining this extreme punk style with death metal and are still one of the finest such bands. This is off of their newest album, one that I really enjoy. The grindcore elements are fairly obvious in Napalm Death's sound, but so are the death metal influences. This particular song is a little more grindcore, but for the most part the band has been closer to death metal for a long time. Barney Greenway has one of the more aggressive and primal sounding voices in extreme metal.
3 INCHES OF BLOOD: "Call of the Hammer"
I really enjoyed the last two albums by this band. As such, I will probably check this one out, even though I was a bit underwhelmed by the song. The mix just sounds off, the drums are too high in the mix and sound hollow. The hardcore vocalist is gone, being replaced by another vocalist to chime in with occasional growling screams. The lead vocalist though is still there. The music is still closer to traditional heavy metal. Not their strongest effort, but still passable.
LACUNA COIL: "Spellbound"
Lacuna Coil has been going downhill for awhile. Ever since Cristina Scabbia became a major sex symbol for the genre, the band has been heading into Evanescence territory. This song does nothing to right the ship, instead falling deeper into radio friendly rock muck. It sounds essentially the same as every other song the band has recorded since Comalies. I gave up on the music of Lacuna Coil after hearing Karmacode, this song convinces me I made the right decision. The guitar solo was a nice touch though, sorely lacking in much of their recent music.
ARSONISTS GET ALL THE GIRLS: "The 42nd Ego"
Owner of one of the worst names in extreme music, AGATG (I'm not writing that bullshit again) is similar in sound to Suicide Silence. By that I mean structureless grindcore. By that I mean NFM. More chaotic noise, although they come close to metal in some places. I haven't heard too many songs that start with a breakdown. I'm not sure I want to hear another one.
GOD FORBID: "War of Attrition"
God Forbid was one of my favorite metalcore-ish bands after their fourth album (the band had largely dropped many of the core influences in favor of a more melodic thrash metal sound). I was expecting big things for Earthsblood, unfortunately I was a little disappointed. Then soon after the band started touring, one of their founding members quit the band. It's been kind of a bad year for these guys. This song is one of the better ones off their newest album, but not the best. It features most of the elements that made me enjoy this band though. It's tough to say what will happen in the future for God Forbid. Hopefully they'll get back on track.
THE AGONIST: "Martyr Art"
The Agonist is a metalcore band out of Canada featuring a very attractive female singer, another frequent subject of Revolver's Hottest Chicks in Metal features. She takes the Arch Enemy approach to vocals, preferring more death metal inflected growls, although she does do several clean parts as well. The music is standard: boring metalcore noodling and breakdowns. It's safe to say the band's saving grace is their singer, without whom they would be almost completely unknown.
WARBRINGER: "Severed Reality"
At least something decent that I haven't already heard. Warbringer is one of the better newer U.S. thrash metal bands from California. Though very young, the band seems to know its classic thrash pretty well. The band is beginning to find their own voice on their latest release, as shown by this song. Fast, aggressive, and ferocious, Warbringer will be a band to watch for years to come.
DESPISED ICON: "MVP"
Despised Icon is often cited as one of the better bands to emerge from the deathcore scene. I hope the rest of their music is better than this song to prove that. The song just doesn't do anything. It's essentially blastbeats coupled with the singer's best (worst?) Barney Greenway impression. There's virtually no guitar riffs here at all. I've heard some good things about this band, this song is definitely not a point in the band's favor. I really hope this isn't the best there is from Despised Icon. Otherwise, I would be tempted to suggest NFM.
IWRESTLEDABEARONCE: "You Ain't No Family"
That's not a typo, that is the band's name and it is indeed a worse name than Arsonists Get All the Girls. As bad as the name is, the music is worse. A jumbled mess of noise that never really comes close to metal, the band has earned a big fat NFM from me. The singer is another girl that combines clean caterwauling with growling and shrieking. The music is virtually nonexistent. There is the occasional humorous interlude in there, but it seems clear this band is less interested in making a serious album, than they are at throwing as much shit as possible into their "song". Pass.
EARTH CRISIS: "To Ashes"
Earth Crisis seems to come from the Hatebreed style of modern hardcore. Or perhaps it's the other way around, I really have no interest in checking. This is basically loud, heavy hardcore featuring tough guy shouting and absolutely no attempts at making the song memorable or to stand out from all the other bands that sound like this, and there are a lot. NFM.
IN THIS MOMENT: "The Great Divide"
Blech. I was annoyed the moment the singer started crooning from the first second. Yet another band more known for their attractive female lead singer than their music. This one is a tad more melodic than The Agonist, though not as much as Lacuna Coil. They are significantly more annoying though. Their music basically sounds like Avenged Sevenfold, but with a female singer. NFM.
OLD MAN'S CHILD: "Ferden Mot Fiendens Land"
Old Man's Child is a band from Galder, also of Dimmu Borgir. Much like Dimmu Borgir, Old Man's Child plays melodic black metal. It's a welcome change of pace from the barrage of crap perpetrated by the last several tracks. This unfortunately is not one of the better tracks from the album. It does feature the keyboard flourishes and heavy riffing that the band and genre are known for, it's just not one of the more memorable songs from the band's new album. The acoustic part though is strangely beautiful.
DAATH: "Silenced"
Daath made big waves in the metal mainstream a couple of years ago when their album The Hinderers came out. People who don't know anything (Roadrunner Records) hailed the band as the next big American extreme metal band and cited supposed influences from death, groove, thrash, and black metal in their music. When I heard the band though, I heard a Fear Factory clone and nothing more. Daath has improved their sound this time around a little. It is a more cohesive mix of styles, but I still have yet to hear anything worth the hype that they have received. This is an improvement, but I think the band still has some growing to do before they can be considered the next big American metal band. Unfortunately, the band kind of became victims of their hype because I would enjoy the band more if they had not been shoved down the throats of metal listeners.
LUNA MORTIS: "Forevermore"
This song starts off great, finally some decent new melodic death metal. Then it suddenly switches gears and heads into a progressive gothic metal style, complete with another female lead singer. This one sings more than screams but ultimately, the music just falls flat. This band has some promise, but they fail to live up to it on this song. It would be nice to hear a female singer in a band other than a melodic death metal band. It would be nice to hear a melodic female metal singer that is not singing opera. This band just doesn't quite make it. It's a good thing there are still bands like Benedictum and Temtris out there.
SWORN ENEMY: "Still Hating"
Hatebreed ripoff alert. For such a terrible band, Hatebreed sure has a lot of imitators. Sworn Enemy at least has headed into more of a groove metal style of guitar riffing which manages to save the band. Throwdown did the same thing recently. All told, this band has gotten a little closer to later-era Pantera than Hatebreed on this particular song, but that's only a marginal step forward. I still would not buy an album from this band.
ARCHITECTS UK: "We're All Alone"
Ahh, my ears are hurting. What the fuck is this? It's almost as noisy as Iwrestledabearonce, but only slightly more structured. This band is basically just a hardcore band. And not a very good one. I'm tired of writing and I hate this fucking song so that's it. NFM.
I will probably never listen to this piece of shit sampler again. What a dismal pile of crap.
Century Media used to be one of the major labels involved in bringing European metal to the United States, something I am very grateful for. However, in recent years, the company has proven to be just as trendwhorish as Roadrunner, a company I have maligned at least a couple of times on this blog. Century Media is currently busy gobbling up as many deathcore bands as it can find before the bottom completely drops out of the market. Considering that deathcore has been fairly crappy to begin with, excepting a few bands, one can imagine what this has done to the label's reputation in metal circles.
Shall we begin?
WINDS OF PLAGUE: "Soldiers of Doomsday"
Blackened symphonic deathcore? That's apparently the genre tag that is given to this band. I've got an easier one for it: crap. Incredibly ambitious, the band nevertheless falls completely on its collective face. Think Dimmu Borgir, with lots and lots of breakdowns, and try not to recoil in terror. The band is obviously talented, but really can't write a decent song, at least not here, they're just trying too hard.
DIVINE HERESY: "Facebreaker"
This is the band started by Dino Casares while Fear Factory was on hiatus. I'm not sure of the intention in starting this band. The same death metal elements and industrial metal elements are here as are on Fear Factory, but lo and behold, breakdowns! So, apparently Dino wanted a band that had the same elements as Fear Factory, plus hardcore. Sign me up! Or not. There is also an overuse of blast beats here, seemingly the only thing the drummer can do is blast away. This further detracts from the experience because the rest of the music cannot be heard.
SUICIDE SILENCE: "Wake Up"
Perhaps this band is unfairly lumped in with the deathcore crowd. I don't know, to me they sound more like a grindcore band than a deathcore band. Nevertheless, they remain oddly popular with the deathcore scene. For the most part, this is just chaotic noise. There's no real structure here, certainly not falling into the metal genre structure. Therefore, NFM.
NAPALM DEATH: "Strong Arm"
Napalm Death is one of the godfathers of grindcore. They are also one of the first bands to experiment with combining this extreme punk style with death metal and are still one of the finest such bands. This is off of their newest album, one that I really enjoy. The grindcore elements are fairly obvious in Napalm Death's sound, but so are the death metal influences. This particular song is a little more grindcore, but for the most part the band has been closer to death metal for a long time. Barney Greenway has one of the more aggressive and primal sounding voices in extreme metal.
3 INCHES OF BLOOD: "Call of the Hammer"
I really enjoyed the last two albums by this band. As such, I will probably check this one out, even though I was a bit underwhelmed by the song. The mix just sounds off, the drums are too high in the mix and sound hollow. The hardcore vocalist is gone, being replaced by another vocalist to chime in with occasional growling screams. The lead vocalist though is still there. The music is still closer to traditional heavy metal. Not their strongest effort, but still passable.
LACUNA COIL: "Spellbound"
Lacuna Coil has been going downhill for awhile. Ever since Cristina Scabbia became a major sex symbol for the genre, the band has been heading into Evanescence territory. This song does nothing to right the ship, instead falling deeper into radio friendly rock muck. It sounds essentially the same as every other song the band has recorded since Comalies. I gave up on the music of Lacuna Coil after hearing Karmacode, this song convinces me I made the right decision. The guitar solo was a nice touch though, sorely lacking in much of their recent music.
ARSONISTS GET ALL THE GIRLS: "The 42nd Ego"
Owner of one of the worst names in extreme music, AGATG (I'm not writing that bullshit again) is similar in sound to Suicide Silence. By that I mean structureless grindcore. By that I mean NFM. More chaotic noise, although they come close to metal in some places. I haven't heard too many songs that start with a breakdown. I'm not sure I want to hear another one.
GOD FORBID: "War of Attrition"
God Forbid was one of my favorite metalcore-ish bands after their fourth album (the band had largely dropped many of the core influences in favor of a more melodic thrash metal sound). I was expecting big things for Earthsblood, unfortunately I was a little disappointed. Then soon after the band started touring, one of their founding members quit the band. It's been kind of a bad year for these guys. This song is one of the better ones off their newest album, but not the best. It features most of the elements that made me enjoy this band though. It's tough to say what will happen in the future for God Forbid. Hopefully they'll get back on track.
THE AGONIST: "Martyr Art"
The Agonist is a metalcore band out of Canada featuring a very attractive female singer, another frequent subject of Revolver's Hottest Chicks in Metal features. She takes the Arch Enemy approach to vocals, preferring more death metal inflected growls, although she does do several clean parts as well. The music is standard: boring metalcore noodling and breakdowns. It's safe to say the band's saving grace is their singer, without whom they would be almost completely unknown.
WARBRINGER: "Severed Reality"
At least something decent that I haven't already heard. Warbringer is one of the better newer U.S. thrash metal bands from California. Though very young, the band seems to know its classic thrash pretty well. The band is beginning to find their own voice on their latest release, as shown by this song. Fast, aggressive, and ferocious, Warbringer will be a band to watch for years to come.
DESPISED ICON: "MVP"
Despised Icon is often cited as one of the better bands to emerge from the deathcore scene. I hope the rest of their music is better than this song to prove that. The song just doesn't do anything. It's essentially blastbeats coupled with the singer's best (worst?) Barney Greenway impression. There's virtually no guitar riffs here at all. I've heard some good things about this band, this song is definitely not a point in the band's favor. I really hope this isn't the best there is from Despised Icon. Otherwise, I would be tempted to suggest NFM.
IWRESTLEDABEARONCE: "You Ain't No Family"
That's not a typo, that is the band's name and it is indeed a worse name than Arsonists Get All the Girls. As bad as the name is, the music is worse. A jumbled mess of noise that never really comes close to metal, the band has earned a big fat NFM from me. The singer is another girl that combines clean caterwauling with growling and shrieking. The music is virtually nonexistent. There is the occasional humorous interlude in there, but it seems clear this band is less interested in making a serious album, than they are at throwing as much shit as possible into their "song". Pass.
EARTH CRISIS: "To Ashes"
Earth Crisis seems to come from the Hatebreed style of modern hardcore. Or perhaps it's the other way around, I really have no interest in checking. This is basically loud, heavy hardcore featuring tough guy shouting and absolutely no attempts at making the song memorable or to stand out from all the other bands that sound like this, and there are a lot. NFM.
IN THIS MOMENT: "The Great Divide"
Blech. I was annoyed the moment the singer started crooning from the first second. Yet another band more known for their attractive female lead singer than their music. This one is a tad more melodic than The Agonist, though not as much as Lacuna Coil. They are significantly more annoying though. Their music basically sounds like Avenged Sevenfold, but with a female singer. NFM.
OLD MAN'S CHILD: "Ferden Mot Fiendens Land"
Old Man's Child is a band from Galder, also of Dimmu Borgir. Much like Dimmu Borgir, Old Man's Child plays melodic black metal. It's a welcome change of pace from the barrage of crap perpetrated by the last several tracks. This unfortunately is not one of the better tracks from the album. It does feature the keyboard flourishes and heavy riffing that the band and genre are known for, it's just not one of the more memorable songs from the band's new album. The acoustic part though is strangely beautiful.
DAATH: "Silenced"
Daath made big waves in the metal mainstream a couple of years ago when their album The Hinderers came out. People who don't know anything (Roadrunner Records) hailed the band as the next big American extreme metal band and cited supposed influences from death, groove, thrash, and black metal in their music. When I heard the band though, I heard a Fear Factory clone and nothing more. Daath has improved their sound this time around a little. It is a more cohesive mix of styles, but I still have yet to hear anything worth the hype that they have received. This is an improvement, but I think the band still has some growing to do before they can be considered the next big American metal band. Unfortunately, the band kind of became victims of their hype because I would enjoy the band more if they had not been shoved down the throats of metal listeners.
LUNA MORTIS: "Forevermore"
This song starts off great, finally some decent new melodic death metal. Then it suddenly switches gears and heads into a progressive gothic metal style, complete with another female lead singer. This one sings more than screams but ultimately, the music just falls flat. This band has some promise, but they fail to live up to it on this song. It would be nice to hear a female singer in a band other than a melodic death metal band. It would be nice to hear a melodic female metal singer that is not singing opera. This band just doesn't quite make it. It's a good thing there are still bands like Benedictum and Temtris out there.
SWORN ENEMY: "Still Hating"
Hatebreed ripoff alert. For such a terrible band, Hatebreed sure has a lot of imitators. Sworn Enemy at least has headed into more of a groove metal style of guitar riffing which manages to save the band. Throwdown did the same thing recently. All told, this band has gotten a little closer to later-era Pantera than Hatebreed on this particular song, but that's only a marginal step forward. I still would not buy an album from this band.
ARCHITECTS UK: "We're All Alone"
Ahh, my ears are hurting. What the fuck is this? It's almost as noisy as Iwrestledabearonce, but only slightly more structured. This band is basically just a hardcore band. And not a very good one. I'm tired of writing and I hate this fucking song so that's it. NFM.
I will probably never listen to this piece of shit sampler again. What a dismal pile of crap.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Signs of the Apocalypse Pt. ?: Adema
Adema is reuniting. I'm just not sure why. It's not as if the world was clamoring for their reunion. I guess it's just another nu metal band who has decided to curse us with its continued existence. Blech.
Adema though is an odd story. The band was at first famous for having Jonathan Davis's (Korn) half brother on vocals and even featured Davis as a guest. Later on, apparently the band decided it built up enough of a following to stand on their own and their singer was out of the band. Bad move, now they weren't known for anything other than being terrible at music. Apparently now the reunion cash cow convinced the original lineup to get back together. Hot dog. I'm going away again for awhile.
Adema though is an odd story. The band was at first famous for having Jonathan Davis's (Korn) half brother on vocals and even featured Davis as a guest. Later on, apparently the band decided it built up enough of a following to stand on their own and their singer was out of the band. Bad move, now they weren't known for anything other than being terrible at music. Apparently now the reunion cash cow convinced the original lineup to get back together. Hot dog. I'm going away again for awhile.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Yet Another List
This one actually came to my attention last week but I didn't feel like covering another list.
http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/listoftheday/69730/the-25-best-heavy-metal-bands/
This is the Top 25 Metal Bands, at least according to Yahoo. Now Yahoo is notoriously well-known for their taste in metal music...What the fuck am I talking about? This is another place that should probably steer clear of such lists in the future.
Well at first, the writer begins by discussing the problems with classification of metal, which is interesting and is the first telltale sign that he is going to completely fuck this up. Sure enough. Onwards.
25. Meshuggah
I don't know how to feel about Meshuggah. Their early stuff is great, talking about my Contradictions Collapse + None combo-album, but on their later stuff they've seemingly forgotten how to play a real song, washing everything away in endless technical wankery. Their stuff nowadays is barely even metal anymore, losing the technical death/thrash feel of the early material and replacing it with a more chaotic, dissonant Slipknot-esque sound. There's the "S" word, now I've done it. Still, like I said, their early stuff is great.
24. Mercyful Fate
Ah, something I can agree with. Mercyful Fate should have been lumped with King Diamond since it's the same singer and basically same ideas behind the music. The only real difference is that Mercyful Fate is more geared towards independent song ideas on their albums and focus more on instrumentation while King Diamond creates concept albums and the music is focused on the vocals. Great bands both, and King Diamond is a genius.
23. Alice in Chains
AiC was always my favorite of the "grunge" bands of the early 90's which was a huge scene when I was in middle school. I was a bit of an outcast because they were often #3 on that list behind Nirvana and Pearl Jam, but I didn't care. Their music was darker and heavier. It was also just better. I got sick of hearing about Nirvana. AiC all the way. I am looking forward to their new album although Layne Staley is gone.
22. Uriah Heep
NFM. I am not overly familiar with this band, but I know they're a hard rock group from the 1970's that never really came close to metal.
21. Pantera
I've made my feelings on this band known. I love Cowboys from Hell. Almost everything else afterwards is overly simple crap. I don't know, I liked their heavier more extreme songs, but there weren't enough of them. The regular groove stuff is just kind of tedious to listen to.
20. Thin Lizzy
Not familiar enough with them to comment. Most of the stuff I have heard of theirs were covers from bands like Metallica, Dragonlord, Grave Digger, Skyclad, and the like. I've heard their classic tracks and enjoyed them well enough. Thin Lizzy is pretty notorious for getting considerably heavier later in their career.
19. Kyuss
Ah, stoner doom metal. Kyuss was pretty great and had a huge influence on a lot of bands. It's just too damn bad that they evolved into Queens of the Stone Age. Ah, tragedy.
18. Guns 'n Roses
NFM. The first utter failure on this list. It gets better, I promise.
17. Kiss
NFM. I think it's the costumes and stage show that lead people to believe this is a metal band. When it comes down to it, they were basically playing bubblegum pop with guitars. I bet if the Jonas Brothers put on corpse paint and demon outfits, spit fire and blood, and explosions, but played the same music, idiots would think they were metal too.
16. Dio
Present horns. Dio is a great choice for this list. I don't see a lot of people (read: idiots who don't know better, yet insist on making these terrible lists) who praise Dio's solo work. Sure he was influential in Black Sabbath and Rainbow, but he had a pretty solid solo career as well.
15. Robin Trower
NFM. I have no idea who this is.
14. Rush
Geddy Lee's vocals just bug the hell out of me. Particularly on "Limelight". For that reason, I cannot bring myself to give them another chance.
13. Spinal Tap
Ugh. Okay, the movie was funny as hell, one of my personal favorites (thanks, baby, for the gift), the album is reasonably enjoyable for its cheese factor (intentionally so), but for God's sake why is this band on this list?! Not being an actual band would seemingly disqualify them, one would think. Or if you're going to put them on the list, at least have the decency to put them at #11, for fuck's sake.
12. Deep Purple
One of the pioneers of the genre. I never really got into them.
11. Slayer
I love Slayer as much as the next metalhead. Unfortunately, their amazing early catalog is missed by most Slayer fans. Some people don't seem to realize how great they were BEFORE Reign in Blood. The band sounded like Metallica and Venom in a blender, it was incredible. I miss that Slayer.
10. Iron Maiden
Iron Maiden should be much higher, #3 or #2. An amazingly talented band.
9. Motorhead
I do enjoy Motorhead's brand of beer and sex fueled mayhem. An incredibly fun band to listen to. They wrote some great songs too, although a lot of their albums start to sound the same after awhile.
8. Aerosmith
NFM. What the fuck?! The author spends his entire synopsis trying to explain this choice, which still comes out an ill-conceived mess. Basically his explanation is that the band sounded like a lot of other metal bands, but he doesn't name names. This would be a convincing argument except for one little insignificant detail: if the band sounded like Aerosmith, it was not metal, PERIOD. I understand there was some confusion in those turbulent 1980's as to what was metal and what wasn't and every fucking band with a blonde lead singer, guitars, and a abundance of hairspray was thrown into the metal genre by fucking idiots who had no clue, but that did not make them metal. People can sit around and claim Nickelback is a metal band too (and have I might add) but that does not make them a metal band. Only the music can do so. Aerosmith played blues-heavy hard rock, not metal. Bands like Poison and White Lion and Great White were also hard rock bands. Ozzy said it best when he said something along the lines of the metal tag being applied too liberally and that Metallica was a metal band, but Poison was just an out-and-out pop band. Rant over.
7. Judas Priest
Judas Priest should also be higher. #3 or #2, whichever one Iron Maiden is not occupying.
6. Metallica
#6, really? I would have them at #4 personally. Only dropping behind Maiden and Priest because of their Load and Reload albums. This better be one hell of a Top 5.
5. Jimi Hendrix Experience
NFM. And we immediately fuck it up. Look, Hendrix was influential, anyone can see that. His music even influenced a lot of what would later become metal, but if we kept going back in time to find the metal influences and claim they were also metal, we would end up looking at The Beatles and blues musicians as well. It is for that reason that I draw the line at Black Sabbath, the first truly metal band in existence.
4. Van Halen
NFM. Oh my god. When was Van Halen ever considered anything other than just a hard rock band?
3. AC/DC
NFM. Three chords does not a metal band make.
2. Led Zeppelin
NFM. I made my feelings for this band clear in the vocalists list. I don't care for them and they are not a metal band. They may have had moments, perhaps even songs, but not enough to be a metal band.
1. Black Sabbath
Well, after fucking up the other four choices in the Top 5 they better get one right. Luckily it's the most important of all.
http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/listoftheday/69730/the-25-best-heavy-metal-bands/
This is the Top 25 Metal Bands, at least according to Yahoo. Now Yahoo is notoriously well-known for their taste in metal music...What the fuck am I talking about? This is another place that should probably steer clear of such lists in the future.
Well at first, the writer begins by discussing the problems with classification of metal, which is interesting and is the first telltale sign that he is going to completely fuck this up. Sure enough. Onwards.
25. Meshuggah
I don't know how to feel about Meshuggah. Their early stuff is great, talking about my Contradictions Collapse + None combo-album, but on their later stuff they've seemingly forgotten how to play a real song, washing everything away in endless technical wankery. Their stuff nowadays is barely even metal anymore, losing the technical death/thrash feel of the early material and replacing it with a more chaotic, dissonant Slipknot-esque sound. There's the "S" word, now I've done it. Still, like I said, their early stuff is great.
24. Mercyful Fate
Ah, something I can agree with. Mercyful Fate should have been lumped with King Diamond since it's the same singer and basically same ideas behind the music. The only real difference is that Mercyful Fate is more geared towards independent song ideas on their albums and focus more on instrumentation while King Diamond creates concept albums and the music is focused on the vocals. Great bands both, and King Diamond is a genius.
23. Alice in Chains
AiC was always my favorite of the "grunge" bands of the early 90's which was a huge scene when I was in middle school. I was a bit of an outcast because they were often #3 on that list behind Nirvana and Pearl Jam, but I didn't care. Their music was darker and heavier. It was also just better. I got sick of hearing about Nirvana. AiC all the way. I am looking forward to their new album although Layne Staley is gone.
22. Uriah Heep
NFM. I am not overly familiar with this band, but I know they're a hard rock group from the 1970's that never really came close to metal.
21. Pantera
I've made my feelings on this band known. I love Cowboys from Hell. Almost everything else afterwards is overly simple crap. I don't know, I liked their heavier more extreme songs, but there weren't enough of them. The regular groove stuff is just kind of tedious to listen to.
20. Thin Lizzy
Not familiar enough with them to comment. Most of the stuff I have heard of theirs were covers from bands like Metallica, Dragonlord, Grave Digger, Skyclad, and the like. I've heard their classic tracks and enjoyed them well enough. Thin Lizzy is pretty notorious for getting considerably heavier later in their career.
19. Kyuss
Ah, stoner doom metal. Kyuss was pretty great and had a huge influence on a lot of bands. It's just too damn bad that they evolved into Queens of the Stone Age. Ah, tragedy.
18. Guns 'n Roses
NFM. The first utter failure on this list. It gets better, I promise.
17. Kiss
NFM. I think it's the costumes and stage show that lead people to believe this is a metal band. When it comes down to it, they were basically playing bubblegum pop with guitars. I bet if the Jonas Brothers put on corpse paint and demon outfits, spit fire and blood, and explosions, but played the same music, idiots would think they were metal too.
16. Dio
Present horns. Dio is a great choice for this list. I don't see a lot of people (read: idiots who don't know better, yet insist on making these terrible lists) who praise Dio's solo work. Sure he was influential in Black Sabbath and Rainbow, but he had a pretty solid solo career as well.
15. Robin Trower
NFM. I have no idea who this is.
14. Rush
Geddy Lee's vocals just bug the hell out of me. Particularly on "Limelight". For that reason, I cannot bring myself to give them another chance.
13. Spinal Tap
Ugh. Okay, the movie was funny as hell, one of my personal favorites (thanks, baby, for the gift), the album is reasonably enjoyable for its cheese factor (intentionally so), but for God's sake why is this band on this list?! Not being an actual band would seemingly disqualify them, one would think. Or if you're going to put them on the list, at least have the decency to put them at #11, for fuck's sake.
12. Deep Purple
One of the pioneers of the genre. I never really got into them.
11. Slayer
I love Slayer as much as the next metalhead. Unfortunately, their amazing early catalog is missed by most Slayer fans. Some people don't seem to realize how great they were BEFORE Reign in Blood. The band sounded like Metallica and Venom in a blender, it was incredible. I miss that Slayer.
10. Iron Maiden
Iron Maiden should be much higher, #3 or #2. An amazingly talented band.
9. Motorhead
I do enjoy Motorhead's brand of beer and sex fueled mayhem. An incredibly fun band to listen to. They wrote some great songs too, although a lot of their albums start to sound the same after awhile.
8. Aerosmith
NFM. What the fuck?! The author spends his entire synopsis trying to explain this choice, which still comes out an ill-conceived mess. Basically his explanation is that the band sounded like a lot of other metal bands, but he doesn't name names. This would be a convincing argument except for one little insignificant detail: if the band sounded like Aerosmith, it was not metal, PERIOD. I understand there was some confusion in those turbulent 1980's as to what was metal and what wasn't and every fucking band with a blonde lead singer, guitars, and a abundance of hairspray was thrown into the metal genre by fucking idiots who had no clue, but that did not make them metal. People can sit around and claim Nickelback is a metal band too (and have I might add) but that does not make them a metal band. Only the music can do so. Aerosmith played blues-heavy hard rock, not metal. Bands like Poison and White Lion and Great White were also hard rock bands. Ozzy said it best when he said something along the lines of the metal tag being applied too liberally and that Metallica was a metal band, but Poison was just an out-and-out pop band. Rant over.
7. Judas Priest
Judas Priest should also be higher. #3 or #2, whichever one Iron Maiden is not occupying.
6. Metallica
#6, really? I would have them at #4 personally. Only dropping behind Maiden and Priest because of their Load and Reload albums. This better be one hell of a Top 5.
5. Jimi Hendrix Experience
NFM. And we immediately fuck it up. Look, Hendrix was influential, anyone can see that. His music even influenced a lot of what would later become metal, but if we kept going back in time to find the metal influences and claim they were also metal, we would end up looking at The Beatles and blues musicians as well. It is for that reason that I draw the line at Black Sabbath, the first truly metal band in existence.
4. Van Halen
NFM. Oh my god. When was Van Halen ever considered anything other than just a hard rock band?
3. AC/DC
NFM. Three chords does not a metal band make.
2. Led Zeppelin
NFM. I made my feelings for this band clear in the vocalists list. I don't care for them and they are not a metal band. They may have had moments, perhaps even songs, but not enough to be a metal band.
1. Black Sabbath
Well, after fucking up the other four choices in the Top 5 they better get one right. Luckily it's the most important of all.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Hit Parader Utterly Botches Another List
I seriously wonder sometimes how people or companies define "metal". Seriously. Some of this shit is amazing. Words cannot describe the feeling I get from looking at a list like this one. That's not entirely true, actually. The words "what the flying fuck were these idiots thinking?" basically sums it up.
For this, I'm introducing a new acronym. "NFM" will hereinafter on this blog stand for "NOT FUCKING METAL" because I'm tired of typing that all the time. I have also created a tag from this day forward, so anytime that appears in a post, it will be tagged as such.
There is a lot to say about this list, but I'll start with the obvious: Hit Parader has no fucking clue what is going on. I'm not going to argue too much about the placement of the actual metal singers (with one exception), because there is so much fail here that it would be difficult to nitpick that issue to death as well.
Top 100 Metal Vocalists
01. Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin): NFM. I guess I have never understood the appeal of Robert Plant or Led Zeppelin. I guess I never really will.
02. Rob Halford (Judas Priest, Fight, Halford)
03. Steven Tyler (Aerosmith): NFM. Aerosmith, Metal? Really?
04. Chris Cornell (Soundgarden)
05. Bon Scott (AC/DC): NFM. Nothing more than a hard rock band.
06. Freddie Mercury (Queen): NFM.
07. Bruce Dickinson (Iron Maiden)
08. Ozzy Osbourne (Black Sabbath, Ozzy Osbourne): This is the one nitpick I'm going to do with regard to placement. Seriously, Ozzy should be #1. His recent stuff is awful, but he was the original metal singer and still had some great albums during his solo career. Sure he's not as technically gifted, but he is the most recognizable, by far.
09. Paul Rodgers (Bad Company): NFM.
10. Ronnie James Dio (Dio, Black Sabbath, Heaven & Hell)
11. Axl Rose (Guns 'n Roses): NFM.
12. Sammy Hagar (Van Halen): NFM. Lots and lots of hard rock bands here, very few metal bands so far.
13. Geddy Lee (Rush): I still don't like Rush.
14. Geoff Tate (Queensryche)
15. Mick Jagger (Rolling Stones): NFM. Yep, lots of hard rock bands.
16. Jonathan Davis (Korn): NFM. What the hell?
17. Roger Daltrey (The Who): NFM. More ancient hard rock bands.
18. Paul Stanley (Kiss): NFM. See above.
19. David Lee Roth (Van Halen): NFM. And again. Why is Roth lower than Hagar?
20. Kurt Cobain (Nirvana): NFM. I always thought Nirvana was overrated. I know it's blasphemy, but I don't care.
21. Maynard James Keenan (Tool): NFM.
22. Klaus Meine (Scorpions)
23. Eddie Vedder (Pearl Jam): NFM. Apparently metal is anything with a guitar.
24. James Hetfield (Metallica)
25. Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails): NFM. Apparently the guitar is not even necessary.
26. Serj Tankian (System of a Down): NFM.
27. Layne Staley (Alice in Chains)
28. Steve Perry (Journey): NFM. Are you kidding? The singer from Journey? Seriously, this has got to be a fucking joke. The singer from Journey? My head hurts. I can't move my right arm. Journey? Metal?
29. Gene Simmons (Kiss): NFM.
30. Joe Elliott (Def Leppard)
31. Jon Bon Jovi (Bon Jovi): NFM. Really? In what alternate dimension is Bon Jovi metal?
32. Alice Cooper (Alice Cooper): NFM. Although, I do like Alice Cooper, much more than his imitators like Marilyn Manson.
33. Vince Neil (Motley Crue)
34. Steve Marriott (Humble Pie): NFM. One of those hard rock bands that slipped through the cracks apparently.
35. Lajon Witherspoon (Sevendust): NFM.
36. Sebastian Bach (Skid Row)
37. Philip Anselmo (Pantera, Down, Superjoint Ritual)
38. Zack De La Rocha (Rage Against the Machine): NFM. Way to pick the LEAST metal member of this band.
39. Brian Johnson (AC/DC): NFM.
40. Bret Michaels (Poison): NFM. Wears a cowboy hat and bandanna to cover grotesque bald spot. Can't find love with army of skanks. Knocked out by curtain at the fucking Tony Awards. Jackass.
41. Udo Dirkschneider (Accept, UDO)
42. David Draiman (Disturbed): NFM.
43. Ian Gillian (Deep Purple)
44. Marilyn Manson (Marilyn Manson): NFM. Alice Cooper copycat.
45. Jeff Keith (Tesla): NFM. Oh man, I can't stop laughing.
46. Chester Bennington (Linkin Park): NFM. And my lungs just caved in.
47. Sully Erna (Godsmack): NFM.
48. Lemmy Kilmister (Motorhead)
49. Aaron Lewis (Staind): NFM.
50. Brett Scallions (Fuel): NFM. I had to look this guy up, I had never heard of him before. Fuel, really? What the hell?
51. Chino Moreno (Deftones): NFM.
52. Rob Zombie (White Zombie, Rob Zombie)
53. Anthony Kiedis (Red Hot Chili Peppers): NFM. Did I miss something? When were they ever considered metal?
54. David Coverdale (Deep Purple, Whitesnake): I'll give him a pass for Deep Purple, although that Whitesnake thing is pretty horrifying.
55. Gary Cherone (Extreme, Van Halen): NFM. Okay, we have all three of Van Halen's singers here now, which still doesn't change the fact that they are not a metal band.
56. Andrew Wood (Mother Love Bone): NFM. Better known as that guy that Temple of the Dog was formed to pay tribute to. That's right, his musical legacy is that a terrible band that he was not in was formed out of one slightly better band and one much better band, just to pay tribute to.
57. Scott Weiland (Stone Temple Pilots, Velvet Revolver): NFM. Drug-addled mess that may or may not be currently dead. Has anyone heard from him lately? Someone better go check on him.
58. Tom Araya (Slayer)
59. Phil Lynnot (Thin Lizzy)
60. Rod Stewart: NFM. What the fucking hell? Rod Stewart? Are you kidding me, I thought Journey was bad. What is Rod Stewart doing here? Sure he was in the Jeff Beck Group and Faces, but neither of those are his legacy and neither of those excuse the schmaltzy shit he has been peddling ever since.
61. Scooter Ward (Cold): NFM. I wonder when this list was created. There's an awful lot of nu metal bads here that dropped off the face of the earth after a couple of albums.
62. Ray Davies (The Kinks): NFM. No, just no.
63. Sonny Sandoval (P.O.D.): NFM. See Scooter Ward.
64. David Bowie (David Bowie): NFM. Lord.
65. Joan Jett (Joan Jett and the Blackhearts): NFM.
66. Josey Scott (Saliva): NFM. Top 100 my ass.
67. Perry Farrell (Jane's Addiction, Porno for Pyros): NFM. Awful bands, awful singer, awful list.
68. Scott Stapp (Creed): NFM. Now you're just trying to anger me Hit Parader.
69. Amy Lee (Evanescence): NFM. One hit wonder.
70. Don Dokken (Dokken)
71. Fred Durst (Limp Bizkit): NFM. Top 100 Moronic Douchebags I could see, Top 100 Metal Singers? No.
72. Mike Shinoda (Linkin Park): NFM. The least metal member of that shitfest.
73. Pepper Keenan (Corrosion of Conformity, Down)
74. Dez Fafara (Coal Chamber, DevilDriver): I'm not totally sure I can give credit here, because this list was probably done while Dez was still in Coal Chamber, another nu metal band that is NFM.
75. Gavin Rossdale (Bush): NFM. Banging Gwen Stefani is the most metal thing he ever did, everything else is utter shit.
76. Blackie Lawless (WASP)
77. Dave Wyndorf (Monster Magnet): NFM. I like Monster Magnet though.
78. Ann Wilson (Heart): NFM.
79. Jimi Hendrix (Jimi Hendrix): NFM. I have a lot of respect for Hendrix, but he's not metal.
80. Ville Valo (HIM): NFM. Maybe this list is newer than I think.
81. Peter Steele (Carnivore, Type O Negative)
82. Dave Williams (Drowning Pool): NFM. Not to disrespect the dead or anything, but Williams was only with the band for one album, and it's a terrible album. How the hell did he make it on this list?
83. Dee Snider (Twisted Sister)
84. Joe Lynn Turner (Rainbow, Yngie Malmsteen, Deep Purple)
85. King Diamond (Mercyful Fate, King Diamond)
86. Corey Taylor (Slipknot, Stone Sour): NFM.
87. Jamey Jasta (Hatebreed): NFM. Although Jasta did do Kingdom of Sorrow with members of Crowbar, which sounds like Hatebreed singing to Crowbar. It really is that bad.
88. Justin Hawkins (The Darkness): NFM. Hit Parader officially is a joke.
89. Dave Mustaine (Megadeth)
90. Ian Astbury (The Cult): NFM.
91. Stephen Pearcy (Ratt): NFM.
92. Phil Mogg (UFO): NFM.
93. Biff Byford (Saxon)
94. Cristina Scabbia (Lacuna Coil)
95. Dani Filth (Cradle of Filth)
96. Wes Scantlin (Puddle of Mudd): NFM. I had to look this guy up too. Seriously, what the fuck is Hit Parader smoking. I'm surprised the singer from Nickelback didn't make the list.
97. Tim “Ripper” Owens (Judas Priest, Iced Earth, Yngwie Malmsteen, Rising Force, Beyond Fear): Ripper is a good vocalist, but has never really caught on with any band for a long time. It's a little tough to argue for his inclusion here.
98. Joshua Todd (Buckcherry): NFM. I really fucking hate Buckcherry. They are even more irritating in concert if possible.
99. Kevin Dubrow (Quiet Riot)
100. Ray Gillen (Black Sabbath): I had to look him up too, apparently he was one of the one-off singers in Black Sabbath, and very little else. What is he doing here? Wikipedia says he is best known for his work with Black Sabbath, Badlands, and Phenomena. Neither of the last two bands did much of anything, and he didn't do much of anything with Black Sabbath. What a way to end this thing.
For this, I'm introducing a new acronym. "NFM" will hereinafter on this blog stand for "NOT FUCKING METAL" because I'm tired of typing that all the time. I have also created a tag from this day forward, so anytime that appears in a post, it will be tagged as such.
There is a lot to say about this list, but I'll start with the obvious: Hit Parader has no fucking clue what is going on. I'm not going to argue too much about the placement of the actual metal singers (with one exception), because there is so much fail here that it would be difficult to nitpick that issue to death as well.
Top 100 Metal Vocalists
01. Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin): NFM. I guess I have never understood the appeal of Robert Plant or Led Zeppelin. I guess I never really will.
02. Rob Halford (Judas Priest, Fight, Halford)
03. Steven Tyler (Aerosmith): NFM. Aerosmith, Metal? Really?
04. Chris Cornell (Soundgarden)
05. Bon Scott (AC/DC): NFM. Nothing more than a hard rock band.
06. Freddie Mercury (Queen): NFM.
07. Bruce Dickinson (Iron Maiden)
08. Ozzy Osbourne (Black Sabbath, Ozzy Osbourne): This is the one nitpick I'm going to do with regard to placement. Seriously, Ozzy should be #1. His recent stuff is awful, but he was the original metal singer and still had some great albums during his solo career. Sure he's not as technically gifted, but he is the most recognizable, by far.
09. Paul Rodgers (Bad Company): NFM.
10. Ronnie James Dio (Dio, Black Sabbath, Heaven & Hell)
11. Axl Rose (Guns 'n Roses): NFM.
12. Sammy Hagar (Van Halen): NFM. Lots and lots of hard rock bands here, very few metal bands so far.
13. Geddy Lee (Rush): I still don't like Rush.
14. Geoff Tate (Queensryche)
15. Mick Jagger (Rolling Stones): NFM. Yep, lots of hard rock bands.
16. Jonathan Davis (Korn): NFM. What the hell?
17. Roger Daltrey (The Who): NFM. More ancient hard rock bands.
18. Paul Stanley (Kiss): NFM. See above.
19. David Lee Roth (Van Halen): NFM. And again. Why is Roth lower than Hagar?
20. Kurt Cobain (Nirvana): NFM. I always thought Nirvana was overrated. I know it's blasphemy, but I don't care.
21. Maynard James Keenan (Tool): NFM.
22. Klaus Meine (Scorpions)
23. Eddie Vedder (Pearl Jam): NFM. Apparently metal is anything with a guitar.
24. James Hetfield (Metallica)
25. Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails): NFM. Apparently the guitar is not even necessary.
26. Serj Tankian (System of a Down): NFM.
27. Layne Staley (Alice in Chains)
28. Steve Perry (Journey): NFM. Are you kidding? The singer from Journey? Seriously, this has got to be a fucking joke. The singer from Journey? My head hurts. I can't move my right arm. Journey? Metal?
29. Gene Simmons (Kiss): NFM.
30. Joe Elliott (Def Leppard)
31. Jon Bon Jovi (Bon Jovi): NFM. Really? In what alternate dimension is Bon Jovi metal?
32. Alice Cooper (Alice Cooper): NFM. Although, I do like Alice Cooper, much more than his imitators like Marilyn Manson.
33. Vince Neil (Motley Crue)
34. Steve Marriott (Humble Pie): NFM. One of those hard rock bands that slipped through the cracks apparently.
35. Lajon Witherspoon (Sevendust): NFM.
36. Sebastian Bach (Skid Row)
37. Philip Anselmo (Pantera, Down, Superjoint Ritual)
38. Zack De La Rocha (Rage Against the Machine): NFM. Way to pick the LEAST metal member of this band.
39. Brian Johnson (AC/DC): NFM.
40. Bret Michaels (Poison): NFM. Wears a cowboy hat and bandanna to cover grotesque bald spot. Can't find love with army of skanks. Knocked out by curtain at the fucking Tony Awards. Jackass.
41. Udo Dirkschneider (Accept, UDO)
42. David Draiman (Disturbed): NFM.
43. Ian Gillian (Deep Purple)
44. Marilyn Manson (Marilyn Manson): NFM. Alice Cooper copycat.
45. Jeff Keith (Tesla): NFM. Oh man, I can't stop laughing.
46. Chester Bennington (Linkin Park): NFM. And my lungs just caved in.
47. Sully Erna (Godsmack): NFM.
48. Lemmy Kilmister (Motorhead)
49. Aaron Lewis (Staind): NFM.
50. Brett Scallions (Fuel): NFM. I had to look this guy up, I had never heard of him before. Fuel, really? What the hell?
51. Chino Moreno (Deftones): NFM.
52. Rob Zombie (White Zombie, Rob Zombie)
53. Anthony Kiedis (Red Hot Chili Peppers): NFM. Did I miss something? When were they ever considered metal?
54. David Coverdale (Deep Purple, Whitesnake): I'll give him a pass for Deep Purple, although that Whitesnake thing is pretty horrifying.
55. Gary Cherone (Extreme, Van Halen): NFM. Okay, we have all three of Van Halen's singers here now, which still doesn't change the fact that they are not a metal band.
56. Andrew Wood (Mother Love Bone): NFM. Better known as that guy that Temple of the Dog was formed to pay tribute to. That's right, his musical legacy is that a terrible band that he was not in was formed out of one slightly better band and one much better band, just to pay tribute to.
57. Scott Weiland (Stone Temple Pilots, Velvet Revolver): NFM. Drug-addled mess that may or may not be currently dead. Has anyone heard from him lately? Someone better go check on him.
58. Tom Araya (Slayer)
59. Phil Lynnot (Thin Lizzy)
60. Rod Stewart: NFM. What the fucking hell? Rod Stewart? Are you kidding me, I thought Journey was bad. What is Rod Stewart doing here? Sure he was in the Jeff Beck Group and Faces, but neither of those are his legacy and neither of those excuse the schmaltzy shit he has been peddling ever since.
61. Scooter Ward (Cold): NFM. I wonder when this list was created. There's an awful lot of nu metal bads here that dropped off the face of the earth after a couple of albums.
62. Ray Davies (The Kinks): NFM. No, just no.
63. Sonny Sandoval (P.O.D.): NFM. See Scooter Ward.
64. David Bowie (David Bowie): NFM. Lord.
65. Joan Jett (Joan Jett and the Blackhearts): NFM.
66. Josey Scott (Saliva): NFM. Top 100 my ass.
67. Perry Farrell (Jane's Addiction, Porno for Pyros): NFM. Awful bands, awful singer, awful list.
68. Scott Stapp (Creed): NFM. Now you're just trying to anger me Hit Parader.
69. Amy Lee (Evanescence): NFM. One hit wonder.
70. Don Dokken (Dokken)
71. Fred Durst (Limp Bizkit): NFM. Top 100 Moronic Douchebags I could see, Top 100 Metal Singers? No.
72. Mike Shinoda (Linkin Park): NFM. The least metal member of that shitfest.
73. Pepper Keenan (Corrosion of Conformity, Down)
74. Dez Fafara (Coal Chamber, DevilDriver): I'm not totally sure I can give credit here, because this list was probably done while Dez was still in Coal Chamber, another nu metal band that is NFM.
75. Gavin Rossdale (Bush): NFM. Banging Gwen Stefani is the most metal thing he ever did, everything else is utter shit.
76. Blackie Lawless (WASP)
77. Dave Wyndorf (Monster Magnet): NFM. I like Monster Magnet though.
78. Ann Wilson (Heart): NFM.
79. Jimi Hendrix (Jimi Hendrix): NFM. I have a lot of respect for Hendrix, but he's not metal.
80. Ville Valo (HIM): NFM. Maybe this list is newer than I think.
81. Peter Steele (Carnivore, Type O Negative)
82. Dave Williams (Drowning Pool): NFM. Not to disrespect the dead or anything, but Williams was only with the band for one album, and it's a terrible album. How the hell did he make it on this list?
83. Dee Snider (Twisted Sister)
84. Joe Lynn Turner (Rainbow, Yngie Malmsteen, Deep Purple)
85. King Diamond (Mercyful Fate, King Diamond)
86. Corey Taylor (Slipknot, Stone Sour): NFM.
87. Jamey Jasta (Hatebreed): NFM. Although Jasta did do Kingdom of Sorrow with members of Crowbar, which sounds like Hatebreed singing to Crowbar. It really is that bad.
88. Justin Hawkins (The Darkness): NFM. Hit Parader officially is a joke.
89. Dave Mustaine (Megadeth)
90. Ian Astbury (The Cult): NFM.
91. Stephen Pearcy (Ratt): NFM.
92. Phil Mogg (UFO): NFM.
93. Biff Byford (Saxon)
94. Cristina Scabbia (Lacuna Coil)
95. Dani Filth (Cradle of Filth)
96. Wes Scantlin (Puddle of Mudd): NFM. I had to look this guy up too. Seriously, what the fuck is Hit Parader smoking. I'm surprised the singer from Nickelback didn't make the list.
97. Tim “Ripper” Owens (Judas Priest, Iced Earth, Yngwie Malmsteen, Rising Force, Beyond Fear): Ripper is a good vocalist, but has never really caught on with any band for a long time. It's a little tough to argue for his inclusion here.
98. Joshua Todd (Buckcherry): NFM. I really fucking hate Buckcherry. They are even more irritating in concert if possible.
99. Kevin Dubrow (Quiet Riot)
100. Ray Gillen (Black Sabbath): I had to look him up too, apparently he was one of the one-off singers in Black Sabbath, and very little else. What is he doing here? Wikipedia says he is best known for his work with Black Sabbath, Badlands, and Phenomena. Neither of the last two bands did much of anything, and he didn't do much of anything with Black Sabbath. What a way to end this thing.
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