It's a Shitty List Post

I'm bored sitting here on a Saturday night after spending most of the day listening to Motorhead, Grim Reaper, Omen, Forced Entry and Mercyful Fate today.  So yeah, I'm in a big metal mood.  Which got me opening up links on my homepage and led me to this list here.  This is the Top 15 Most Underrated Albums by Metal Legends.  I used to do a lot of list posts where I would rip apart the opinions of the writers.  They are generally easier to do than album review posts, so let's see what we have here.

BLACK SABBATH: HEADLESS CROSS

I really do like this album, which has the less-than-legendary singer Tony Martin on it instead of Ozzy Osbourne, Ronnie James Dio or Ian Gillan.  This era also saw the release of the very forgettable Forbidden album (which featured an Ice-T cameo).  This one is not my favorite release from the Tony Martin era though, I really preferred Cross Purposes myself.  This one is fine, but like I said, I would have picked something different.

JUDAS PRIEST: TURBO

No.  Just no.  This is the album where Judas Priest decided to bend to the trends and incorporate synth-rock and hair metal.  It's not all bad, but to call it underrated is incredibly generous.  If I were to pick a Judas Priest album that is underrated, it's Jugulator which was the first album with Tim "Ripper" Owens taking over for Rob Halford on vocals.  That album has some great riffs and Owens's soaring vocals are a close approximation for Halford.  And it's almost universally hated because of Halford's absence.  Had it come out under a different band name, it would likely get more respect.

PANTERA: POWER METAL

Here we go.  This is one I can agree with.  Most Pantera fans have completely disavowed anything prior to Cowboys from Hell.  The band has too.  It doesn't make a ton of sense because Power Metal sounds a LOT like Cowboys.  It does feature some rather regrettable tracks and some of the lyrics are rather juvenile, but this is where Dimebag really started coming into his own.  He just perfected it on the next album.

BLACK SABBATH: SABOTAGE

Apparently Black Sabbath gets two entries on this list.  I am not sure I would call this one underrated.  This is from the classic era of Sabbath with Ozzy on vocals, but internal strife was tearing the band apart.  The album features some great songs like "Hole in the Sky" and "Symptom of the Universe" that are highly regarded by fans.  It also features the annoying "Am I Going Insane", so it's not all positive.

VAN HALEN: WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST

I know very little about this album.  First of all, Van Halen is not a metal band.  Secondly, I never really liked Van Halen other than a few songs here and there.  The only song I am familiar with is "Everybody Wants Some", which is a song I played in pep band in high school.  So I don't have an opinion one way or the other either about this album or if there is a better album to consider from Van Halen.  They would not have made my list at all for obvious reasons.

METALLICA: LOAD

The least surprising entry in this list, not because I agree with it, but because people have been waxing nostalgic about this album for a long time.  Everybody says it's not really that bad.  Yes it is.  There's some good songs on here.  I can agree with that, but I haven't listened to this album in probably 20 years and there's a damn good reason for it.  I was utterly disappointed with it when it came out, and my feelings have not really changed much since.  There is a Metallica album I would put on this list, but it's coming up later in the post.

QUEENSRYCHE: PROMISED LAND

I do love this album.  This was my first Queensryche album after hearing songs like "I Am I" and "One More Time" on the radio.  This album has some really great songs on it.  It's dark and brooding and catchy as hell.  And "Someone Else?" is one of the most beautiful and heart-breaking songs I have ever heard.  I am a little surprised at its inclusion here because I was not aware it was not well-regarded (it has an 80% review score on Metal Archives), but I guess it was basically the last great album the band released before descending into mediocrity and it's not much like the much more well-known Operation: Mindcrime.

DIO: STRANGE HIGHWAYS

I am going to admit something embarrassing.  I am actually not all that familiar with Dio's solo work after The Last in Line.  I love Dio's voice, but generally preferred him during his time with Rainbow and Black Sabbath/Heaven and Hell.  So this is another album I don't actually have an opinion about just due to my unfamiliarity with Dio's work in the 1990's in particular.  I do have Magica and I like that album quite a bit.  Maybe I will track this one down.

MEGADETH: YOUTHANASIA

This is another album I truly love.  It was the first Megadeth album I bought (the same week I bought the above Queensryche album in fact), though I had heard my brother's copy of Countdown to Extinction enough to be familiar with the band.  This was the beginning of a rough patch for Megadeth that took years to come back from, but there is not a bad track on this one.  "A Tout Le Monde" is the classic and it is a chilling song about depression and suicide, but the album also features the crushing "Train of Consequences" and "Addicted to Chaos".  

METALLICA: DEATH MAGNETIC

This is the Metallica album I hinted at earlier.  This was finally a decent return to form for the band with their best album since the black album.  It was oddly polarizing though.  Lots of people still hated it, so it definitely deserves its spot on this list.  "All Nightmare Long" is a damn good track and a worthy addition to the band's catalog.  

MASTODON: ONCE MORE 'ROUND THE SUN

I may be kind of in the minority, but my favorite Mastodon songs are the ones that are catchy as hell with drummer Brann Dailor on vocals ("Show Yourself" is one of my favorite Mastodon songs).  This album features several of them, such as "The Mother Load" and "Ember City".  So, I actually like this album quite a bit.  I had actually taken a break from Mastodon for a couple of albums before this one came out and I had to grab it after hearing a few songs.  I understand this album's placement here because it is a little more radio-friendly and not as complex.  But, that's what makes it so good.

TESTAMENT: LOW

Maybe it's because I am such a huge Testament fan (I still consider them my favorite band of all time), but I am surprised at this album being on the list.  This is another one that was my first album by the band, so I have soft feelings for it, but this is still maybe my favorite album by the band, or at the least very close.  It is true that Alex Skolnick was gone at this point, but James Murphy filled in admirably in his absence.  This album took Testament in a darker, more aggressive direction and even saw them experimenting with death metal ("Dog Faced Gods").  I would put the far more death metal-leaning Demonic on this list, as it is often maligned.  I think Low is fairly well-regarded.

LAMB OF GOD: VII: STURM UND DRANG

I don't dislike Lamb of God, I'm just not a big fan and find them kind of boring.  I haven't checked out anything from the band since 2006's Sacrament and I do not really see that changing.  They are fine, just don't really do much for me.  I did not even stick around for the entirety of their set when I saw them live (I was there for Napalm Death).  So this is another one I have no opinion on one way or the other.  I have never heard it.  

BLACK SABBATH: DEHUMANIZER

Black Sabbath gets a THIRD entry on this list?  Come on, now I know this thing is messing with me, plus that's just kind of lazy.  Dehumanizer was a reunion album with Dio and it is very well-loved in metal circles.  Maybe not as much as Heaven and Hell or Mob Rules, but it is considered a classic.  It has a review score of 89% on Metal Archives.  That is not an underrated album.  If you want another truly underrated Black Sabbath album, it's Born Again, the only album with Deep Purple singer Ian Gillan on it.

OPETH: PALE COMMUNION

This is another band that I lost track of for awhile.  I think 2005's Ghost Reveries was the last album I checked out by Opeth.  I just got kind of bored by them.  They were becoming so focused on unconventionality that they kind of forgot how to write good songs.  So no, once again I do not have an opinion on this one.  I haven't heard it and I do not see that changing any time soon.  I have liked what I have heard of their new song though.  You know what is an underrated Opeth album?  Still Life.  I never see that one mentioned when people discuss the band and that one is my favorite by them.  

If I wanted to form my own list, I would start with some of the albums I named and try to work out a definition of "Metal Legends".  I suppose we are looking for bands that mainstream metalheads would know well, but I kind of feel like we are pushing that boundary with Opeth and Van Halen is not even a metal band.  So I guess some of the following would be included:

In Flames: Reroute to Remain

Cradle of Filth: Nymphetamine

Trivium: The Crusade

Ozzy Osbourne: The Ultimate Sin

Soilwork: Figure Number Five

Children of Bodom: Hate Crew Deathroll

Meshuggah: Contradictions Collapse

Dissection: Reinkaos

Iron Maiden: Fear of the Dark

Sepultura: Chaos A.D.

Most of those albums were not well-received upon release, or featured controversial style or membership changes.  Yet, they are often memorable and feature some great songs.  That's how you get an underrated album.

Metallattorney's 10 Favorite Debuts of the Last 25 Years

Spurred by the abomination that was Metal Hammer's list, I decided to do one on my own.

In no particular order:

SEPULTURA: MORBID VISIONS
Absolutely raw and rough around the edges, this is an album that had a very large influence on the formation of death and black metal. It is completely unlike anything the band did afterwards. With an impressively evil atmosphere and some of the most beastly vocals Max Cavalera ever uttered, this is a very chaotic listen. The frenetic intensity of the album is its greatest quality. Sepultura refined their craft quite a bit since this, but this still remains my favorite album by the band.

DISSECTION: THE SOMBERLAIN
Dissection is a group that surpassed their debut album with their sophomore album, but that does not make their debut any less impressive. The band developed a feel for writing cold and merciless melodic black metal and that feel was evident even from their first album. The drumming is the standout on this album as the drum patterns constantly change but never vary their power. As with other groups, Dissection eventually smoothed out some of their rough edges, but they did keep their intensity, particularly on their follow-up.

SWALLOW THE SUN: THE MORNING NEVER CAME
The Swallow the Sun debut was one of my first real experiences with death/doom and I was simply blown away. The album cover caught my eye and I had to pick it up immediately and I was glad I did. Swallow the Sun does somber and yet menacing music extremely well. Their cover of Candlemass's "Solitude" is on par with the original version. I have said it before and I will say it again, the cover art on this album perfectly matches the music.

EMPEROR: IN THE NIGHTSIDE ECLIPSE
The bands of the Norwegian Second Wave of Black Metal almost to a band released great debut albums. Mayhem's debut, Immortal's debut, and Satyricon's debut were all strongly considered for this list, but I ultimately picked just this one. Emperor was always much more grandiose and musical than their countrymen, and this debut is one example. While other bands strived for brutality through simplicity, Emperor tried to find the beautiful in the very ugly. Both sides are very evident in this release, which still remains one of my all-time favorite black metal albums.

IMMOLATION: DAWN OF POSSESSION
Like Emperor for black metal, Immolation's debut is one of a number of great death metal debuts in the early 1990's. Immolation is a band who really helped death metal distinguish itself from thrash metal with their bass heavy slow and lumbering riffs and the deep guttural roaring vocal style. Immolation was a fairly early occult death metal band from the same New York scene that spawned Incantation and Cannibal Corpse among others, but Immolation's debut was more impressive.

DEICIDE: DEICIDE
Deicide rose out of the Tampa, Florida death metal scene and were immediately one of the most frightening death metal bands going. Their lyrics were unapologetically Anti-Christian and often invoked the devil and all sorts of other hellish demons. In addition, their music was fast and loud. Of course this was all eventually revealed to be a big joke, that Glen Benton has a, let's say interesting sense of humor. Their first two albums are excellent pieces of fast-paced, evil death metal.

MORBID ANGEL: ALTARS OF MADNESS
One of the very first death metal groups, Morbid Angel's debut was completely unlike anything ever heard before. Morbid Angel took the speed and intensity of thrash metal and added occult lyrics and growling vocals. This was one of the first death metal albums and a definite influence on a lot of bands that would arrive in later years. This is also still one of my favorite albums by the seminal death metal band, possibly only surpassed by Covenant.

OPETH: ORCHID
Speaking of bands who did something no one had really ever heard before, here is Opeth. Opeth started out as a death metal band with a little bit of an interesting twist, they incorporated a lot of 1970's progressive rock elements to their music. They were a little bit long-winded and this album was still something of a work in progress, but the ideas were definitely there and they were definitely fresh. Opeth just needed to build on them some more.

AMON AMARTH: ONCE SENT FROM THE GOLDEN HALL
With this album, Amon Amarth began their long career of releasing basically the same album. This one is a little bit further along the death metal lines than some of their later releases, and it is a little heavier as well, but other than that Amon Amarth has made a career out of re-releasing this album. Which really is not as problematic as one might think. That is how truly great this album really is. It is hard to pick a favorite album by this band, the debut is certainly a worthy choice.

SUFFOCATION: EFFIGY OF THE FORGOTTEN
Suffocation rose out of the same New York scene as Immolation, but their music was decidedly different. Suffocation incorporated a lot more technical elements to their sound and also emphasized brutal breakdowns. Their influence can be felt in slam death, brutal death metal, and technical death metal. All three subgenres owe a massive debt of gratitude to this release. Suffocation has continued with the sound that they developed, but this is still probably their best.

Horrible List Time: Metal Hammer's Top Debut Albums of the Past 25 Years

I am not sure why I bothered to cover this. I knew this would be bad, but this is ridiculous.

Link.

Among the issues is the fact that Pantera's Cowboys from Hell was listed, despite the notable problem that they released a few albums before that one. Then there is the presence of Bullet for My Valentine, which boggles my mind. And then Linkin Park. And then we have the issue with Slipknot taking the top spot. Sigh.

I will have to think about this for a little while and get back with my pick. I have considered Morbid Angel and Suffocation. I will give this some thought and come back with a top 10. In the meantime, what are your picks?

Yahoo's Ten Worst Heavy Metal Albums of All Time

This list was on the front page of Yahoo.com yesterday. Most of it is not too bad, but there's some pretty egregious stuff here.

Let's take a closer look:

10. Kiss: Music from The Elder
I honestly am not aware of what this is. Apparently Kiss created a concept album at one point. I am not a big Kiss fan, so I have no idea.

9. Def Leppard: Slang
Again, not a big Def Leppard fan, so this really does not ring a bell with me.

8. Motley Crue: Motley Crue
Actually, I find this one to be somewhat underrated. I get the implication here, that since Vince Neil was gone for this album that it should not exist. But this actually featured some of the heaviest material Motley Crue put out in years. And John Corabi was not that bad of a vocalist, he was just different than fans were used to.

7. Black Sabbath: Never Say Die
Yeah, I kind of agree here. At this point, it was clear that something had to change in order for Black Sabbath to regain their past glory. That something was booting Ozzy and bringing in Dio.

6. Raven: The Pack is Back
I am not familiar with this one. Kind of an odd one stuck in the middle here as a lot of people probably do not know who Raven is. I like their Wiped Out album though.

5. Iron Maiden: Fear of the Dark
I absolutely do not agree with this pick. This was my first Iron Maiden album and the title track and "Be Quick or be Dead" are both classics. It may not have been on the same level as their earlier material, but it is definitely not "Worst of All Time"-worthy. Just look at their next two albums for evidence of bad Iron Maiden albums.

4. Twisted Sister: Come Out and Play
Again, not really familiar.

3. Ozzy Osbourne: Bark at the Moon
Oh, come on. Ozzy has put out lots of bad albums. Everything after No More Tears is pretty bad on some level. This is actually a pretty decent one. Yes the sound was a little different. It had to be as no guitar player was going to replace Randy Rhoads, but this one is a pretty good album.

2. Guns 'n Roses: Chinese Democracy
Believe it or not I have never heard anything off of this. I just had no interest by the time it was released.

1. Metallica: Load, Reload, St. Anger
What an uninspired way to round out this list. Yes they were all bad albums on some degree or other, but how about picking just one? My worst? Load. There, see how easy that was?

My Favorite 100 Metal Bands

Later this week, I will be beginning a new series of posts. Each day I will look at one band that I have determined deserves a place in my Top 100 bands. I will look at these in alphabetical order, since I could not begin to rank them due to my constantly changing tastes. This series was inspired by Patrick's similar post. This is going to take a long time.

Rolling Stone Fails at Lists

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/lists/;kw=[4541,14728,15098]

I didn't bother looking at the whole list of Rolling Stone's Greatest Guitarists of All Time List. Tony Iommi was listed #86. And they spelled his name "Tommy Iommi". Iommi, whose guitar riffs spawned an entire genre of music. At #86. Fail.

Ridiculously Unhelpful Amazon Listmania Pt. 4: Black Metal Supergroups

http://www.amazon.com/Black-metal-supergroups-part-2/lm/RUDRXFH8ADBGD/ref=cm_lmt_srch_f_2_rsrsrs2

Ah, I finally figured out how to add a link here. Awesome.

Anyway, here we have another horrible Amazon list to deal with. This one is Black Metal Supergroups Pt. 2. I wonder what Part 1 was, since I can't find the damn thing. Oh well. Now this should be fairly simple. There are two elements that have to be met based on that title (the lawyer in me speaking). First, the bands have to play black metal. Second, the band has to be a supergroup, defined by Wikipedia as a group "whose performers are already famous from having performed individually or with other groups." Ah, so this should be fun. Unsurprisingly, very few of these bands meet these two relatively simple criteria. Let's have a look:

Dragonlord: Okay, we start things off well. This band meets both critera, playing a form of symphonic black metal and featuring members from Testament, Nevermore, and Sadus.

Lair of the Minotaur: And we immediately fall on our face here. Lair of the Minotaur is a doom/thrash metal band with virtually no black metal influences. Its members performed in other bands, but it's not like 7000 Dying Rats is famous. Pelican is a bit moreso, but not enough to qualify this as a supergroup.

Acid Bath: I feel very comfortablein stating that Acid Bath has nothing to do with black metal. It's also not a supergroup unless you stretch things really far to claim Golgotha and Dark Karnival are famous bands. I've never heard of either one, so no.

High on Fire: Again, not at all black metal. High on Fire does feature a former member of Sleep, but no one else in the band is particularly well-known. This is more of a next project after Sleep disbanded for one former member.

Type O Negative: This is just blatantly absurd. There's absolutely fucking nothing black metal about Type O at all. And again, Carnivore broke up and remaining members formed Type O, ergo not a supergroup.

Zao: I'm about to start banging my head on my desk. Not black metal, Christian hardcore. I have no idea if it meets the criteria of supergroup, not familiar enough with the band, since they're not even metal. NFM.

Sworn Enemy: Groove metal, not black metal. Also there's a note here that says the band is on this list because it formed from the ashes of Mindset, a band no one has heard of, and the singer for As I Lay Dying produced it, which has nothing to do with whether a band is a supergroup.

The Black Dahlia Murder: Melodic death metal, none of the members were famous prior to the band's formation. For anything. At all. Next.

Arcturus: This is only the second band that fits the criteria, that is if you stretch the definition of black metal. It does feature members of Ulver, Borknagar, Emperor, and Mayhem though, so I will let this one pass. But, I'm watching you Mr. Listmaker Guy.

Thou Art Lord: Wow, two in a row? It's a Hellenic black metal band featuring members of Rotting Christ, Necromantia, and Septicflesh.

War: Three? Holy shit. Swedish black metal band made up of members of Dark Funeral, Hypocrisy, and Abruptum.

Behemoth: And that breaks the streak. Behemoth is Nergal's baby, the other members may have been in other bands, but Nergal owns this and he was 15 when he started the band. I'm guessing here, but I doubt he was famous prior to that.

Sodom: This is hilarious. Sodom did influence black metal, but they themselves were thrash. There's another note here that says this band was a side project for Frank Blackfire and that's why it's here. To which I say no, no it was not. Sodom was around for years before Blackfire and they were around for years after Blackfire. Therefore, not a side project. Also Angelripper, the actual driving force behind the band was not famous before Sodom.

Orcustus: I suppose I will allow this. Black metal band formed by members of Gorgoroth and Emperor, and a couple other people I have not heard of but may have been with other bands.

Opeth: But this is inexcusable. Not black metal, progressive metal. Not a supergroup, no one did anything major before this band. You could have at least put Bloodbath, which featured Opeth's singer. Even though they're not black metal either.

Amon Amarth: No, does not fit either criteria.

Hellhammer: No, does not fit supergroup criteria. Influenced black metal, may be considered black metal in some circles. Later became Celtic Frost, not earlier though.

Leviathan: Is it possible for a one-man band to be a supergroup? No, no it is not possible.

DevilDriver: Groove metal, one former singer from Coal Chamber does not a supergroup make.

Strapping Young Lad: Devin Townsend's project does not have anything to do with black metal and he was the only permanent member.

Ulver: Black metal band, but not a supergroup as it was the original band for Garm. Borknagar would have worked here after singer Garm went to work with members of Gorgoroth, Immortal, and Enslaved to form that band.

Death: Not at all black metal. Chuck Schuldiner was the only permanent member, it was his baby.

Necrophagia: Death metal band. The only reason this is here is because of the presence of Anton Crowley (Phil Anselmo) and he was not a founding member, nor a long lasting one.

The Kovenant: Electronic black metal band which was an original band when formed, not a supergroup.

Mezzerschmitt: I can see this. Industrial black metal band from two members of Mayhem and one from Red Harvest.

Gorgoroth: Huh? How is Gorgoroth, one of the leading Norwegian black metal bands, a supergroup? Yes, they've had a ton of members, but that doesn't mean they were formed to be a supergroup.

Gehenna: Sanrabb, Dolgar, and Sir Vereda do not fit the definition of famous bands such that members of them forming Gehenna would lead to a classification of a supergroup.

Keep of Kalessin: None of these guys were previously famous or in famous bands or a supergroup.

Ragnarok: See Keep of Kalessin.

Watain: See Ragnarok.

Fimbulwinter: Shagrath of Dimmu Borgir was in this band. However, he was in it prior to Dimmu Borgir. So, no, not a supergroup.

Satyricon: See Watain.

Killswitch Engage: Hold off on the supergroup part for right now. The band clearly does not qualify, but are you actually saying that KSE is a black metal band? Really? Get your ears checked.

Soilent Green: Not black metal, and having one member from Acid Bath does not make it a supergroup either.

Vintersorg: This is the main band for both of these guys, neither of whom were famous prior.

Nattefrost: More of a side project/main band for the singer during and after Carpathian Forest. Not a supergroup.

Six out of thirty-six bands fit the criteria. Six. That's 16.67%. That's an F my friend.

Decibel's Albums of the Decade

I had been warming up to Decibel. I really was. This list almost single-handedly killed that change in stance. I wrote last year that Decibel is really a magazine for hipsters under the guise of a metal magazine. This list proves what lead me to that conclusion. Look, I don't give a fuck if you like a band and want to give it some publicity and whatever, but don't fucking call it a Best Metal list and include a bunch of noise rock and hardcore and shit. If you want to call it a Best Extreme Music list, fine, fucking do that, and then you can include whatever releases you want. But metal is a style of music, it has limits and boundaries. Many of these releases on this list, in fact, nearly one third of them, do not fit in with the definition of metal, existing more on the hardcore or hard rock side of things. As I said, do not call it a metal list and then include bands from other styles to take up nearly one-third of the spots. The problem with doing it that way is you leave off a lot of truly deserving metal albums.

As with Terrorizer, let's look at the Top 5, which only actually includes three metal bands, one of which I cannot stand.

1. Converge: Jane Doe: Again, what the hell is it about this band that has everyone fawning all over them? To call this the Best Metal Album of the Decade is an absolute travesty.

2. Cave In: Jupiter: Cave In are a horribly boring, uninteresting progressive hardcore band. Next.

3. Opeth: Blackwater Park: See my discussion about this album on the Terrorizer post. This is a legitimate pick. It's at least a good metal album.

4. Isis: Oceanic: As I have mentioned several times, I find Isis really boring. At least this is a metal album, sort of.

5. Mastodon: Remission: I don't understand. This is the other problem with this list, the writers seem particularly interested in seeking out the underground releases, or the less well-known ones. How did this one far outrank Leviathan? This one is not as mainstream accessible, that's how. Despite the fact that Leviathan is the far superior album.

Non-metal bands present: Battle of Mice, Coalesce, The Paper Chase, Psyopus, Drowningman, System of a Down, Fucked Up, Hatebreed, Converge (every album this band released this decade is on this godforsaken list), Deftones, Disfear, Jesu, At the Drive-In, The Dillinger Escape Plan, Between the Buried and Me, Shellac, Andrew W.K., Fugazi, Tragedy, Melt-Banana, Queens of the Stone Age, Cave In

I own 23 of the albums from this list, many of which are the same as on Terrorizer's.

Buy the issue here: http://store.decibelmagazine.com/collections/holiday-specials/products/top-100-albums-of-the-decade-special-issue

Terrorizer's Albums of the Decade

Two metal magazines recently released their top albums of the decade lists. With somewhat different results. Terrorizer and Decibel are pretty much the two leading metal magazines now that Metal Maniacs folded last year, an event for which I am still extremely bitter. Terrorizer has been mentioned in this blog for being a tad more devoted to extreme forms of metal. This is evident in their choices for the magazine. I agree with the Terrorizer list significantly more than the Decibel list. I don't want to repost the entire list, or even much of it at all. I would like to look at the Top 5 though. So here's Terrorizer's Top 5:

1. Electric Wizard: Dopethrone: I enjoy some good drugged out doom metal as much as the next guy, although I myself have never been stoned. That being said, it's hard for me to accept this being the album of the decade. I don't know, I haven't heard the whole thing through. I enjoy the band quite a bit, they just don't consistently hold my interest enough to consider them an elite band.

2. Celtic Frost: Monotheist: This album is heavy as fuck and twice as scary. The reunion album from Celtic Frost took everyone by surprise. It wasn't about fast distorted riffs anymore. It was about creating an atmosphere. And that atmosphere was pants-shittingly terrifying. It's too bad the band broke up again.

3. Watain: Sworn to the Dark: Watain is being hailed as the next Dissection. I personally do not agree as Dissection was one-of-a-kind to me. However, if somewhat melodic, but still cold and dark black metal is your thing, Watain is as good as any of the other bands to come about this decade. Seriously, their stuff is great.

4. Converge: Jane Doe: What IS it about this album that makes everyone go nuts over it? Seriously, I tried listening to some tracks. It's boring modern hardcore with some metal influences delivered chaotically and at totally random times. No thanks.

5. Opeth: Blackwater Park: I still don't believe this is the band's best album, but it's a hell of a good release. The progressive elements had fully ripened into a major part of the band's music by this point and were played much more convincingly. Unfortunately, after this album they would start to dominate the music.

I own 32 albums from this list. Not too bad really.

Nonmetal bands present on this list: Converge, Clutch, Lightning Bolt, Whitehouse, Melt-Banana, Tool, Rammstein, Big Business, The Dillinger Escape Plan, Between the Buried and Me, Disfear, Angels of Light, Laibach, Agoraphobic Nosebleed, Porcupine Tree

Buy the issue here: http://www.terrorizer.com/decadesrow

2000's Favorite Miscellaneous Metal Albums

Some albums are hard to define. Others are simply from genres that are not very large. Here's a list of some of my favorite miscellaneous albums.

Cynic: Traced in Air: Progressive metal band ditches most thrash and death influences in triumphant return after nearly two decades.

Down: III-Over the Under: Southern metal supergroup proves to be much more than the sum of their parts.

Eluveitie: Slania: Melodic death metal mixed with Celtic folk influences forming an amazing mix of music and one of my favorite albums from 2008.

Into Eternity: The Scattering of Ashes: Crazy mix of progressive, power, and melodic death metal with one of the greatest multi-voiced singers in metal.

Lair of the Minotaur: War Metal Battle Master: Unholy combination of doom and thrash and one of the greatest band names in recent years.

Mastodon: Leviathan: Difficult to categorize band on their finest album.

Opeth: Blackwater Park: Progressive extreme metal masterpiece from Swedish giants.

Orphaned Land: Mabool: Beautiful, epic progressive Middle Eastern folk metal centered around the story of the Great Flood.

Scar Symmetry: Pitch Black Progress: Power metal and melodic death metal thrown together with one of the best metal singers to come up in a long time.

Wintersun: Wintersun: Originally founded by a former member of Ensiferum and blending melodic death, black, progressive, and folk metal seemlessly.

2000's Favorite Power Metal Albums

Helloween: Gambling with the Devil: German power metal pioneers have their strongest release in years.

Hibria: Defying the Rules: Brazilian power/speed metal that is extremely fast and extremely catchy.

Kamelot: The Black Halo: Melodic metal masterpiece from rising American band with European style.

Lost Horizon: A Flame to the Ground Beneath: Swedish power metal band on their triumphant sophomore album.

Manticora: 8 Deadly Sins: Outstanding progressive power metal from Denmark.

Nightmare: Genetic Disorder: French power metal band with an emphasis on "power".

Outworld: Outworld: Surprisingly great power/progressive metal band with only one album.

Sonata Arctica: Silence: Extremely melodic and fast-paced power metal from Finland.

Symphony X: The Odyssey: Epic progressive power metal album centered around Homer's The Odyssey.

Twisted Tower Dire: Crest of the Martyrs: Proof that there are some truly great traditional metal bands still out there.

2000's Favorite Melodic Death Albums

Amon Amarth: The Crusher: Tough to pick just one album from this band, but if forced, this one wins.

Apophis: I am Your Blindness: Criminally underrated German death metal band with powerful melodies.

Arsis: United in Regret: Technical melodeath band from America proves to have stunning abilities for both technicality and catchiness.

Dark Tranquillity: Character: Melodeath masters on one of their most powerful albums.

In Flames: Clayman: The last great album by the Swedish melodeath powerhouse.

Insomnium: Above the Weeping World: Heart-wrenching melodic death with doom elements from Finland.

Kalmah: They Will Return: Finnish melodic death metal speedsters inject some elements of power metal a la their countrymen Children of Bodom.

Mors Principium Est: Liberation=Termination: Finnish band massively influenced by Gothenburg style and incorporating technoesque effects.

Omnium Gatherum: The Red Shift: Finnish band that is part of a new wave of melodic death.

Skyfire: Spectral: Swedish melodeath band that mixes in elements of power and progressive metal.

2000's Favorite Death Metal Albums

Behemoth: Zos Kia Cultus (Here and Beyond): Polish purveyors of darkness begin their death metal period after playing black metal for several albums.

Bolt Thrower: Those Once Loyal: One of the most consistent death metal bands on possibly their best album.

Deicide: The Stench of Redemption: The most evil band in the U.S. is reinvigorated on this album by the inclusion of Ralph Santolla on lead guitar.

Hacavitz: Katun: Mexican death metal band proves that it's not all sunshine south of the border.

Immolation: Shadows in the Light: Pioneering brutal death metal band still has it nearly 20 years later.

Nile: In Their Darkened Shrines: Everyone's favorite Egyptian-themed death metallers on arguably, their best and heaviest album.

Nox: Ixaxaar: Sick, brutal, and heavily Satanic death metal from Netherlands.

Septicflesh: Communion: Death metal with a Greek feel and some interesting instrumentation.

Thornafire: Exacerbated Gnostic Manifestation: Chilean band mixes the best of old school death and modern death metal.

Yyrkoon: Occult Medicine: French death metal band with a tribute album to Dr. Herbert West, Lovecraft's Re-Animator.

2000's Favorite Black Metal Albums

Averse Sefira: Tetragrammatical Astygmata: Texan black metallists prove America can do the style as well as anyone.

Dark Fortress: Eidolon: German melodic black metal band breaks through and puts earlier predecessors like Dimmu Borgir to shame.

Dawn of Azazel: The Law of the Strong: New Zealanders combine black, death, and thrash metal into an extremely toxic stew that explodes out of the speakers.

Destroyer 666: Defiance: The best album of 2009, no contest.

Goatwhore: Carving Out the Eyes of God: Toxic stew of black, death, thrash, and sludge metal.

Impaled Nazarene: All that You Fear: You know what you're getting with this band: lightning fast, chaotic punk-influenced black metal.

Impiety: Formidonis Nex Cultus: Pure hellish brutality from Singapore.

Melechesh: Emissaries: Black metal from Jerusalem that takes on Sumerian/Babylonian mythology with Middle Eastern folk influences.

Primordial: To the Nameless Dead: Heart-wrenching Celtic black metal from Ireland.

Rotting Christ: Theogonia: The band with one of the most blasphemous names imaginable is surprisingly melodic and extremely good.

2000's Favorite Doom Albums

Candlemass: Candlemass: Reformation of the band with its most popular singer, for one album before band members realized they still hated him.

Coffins: Buried Death: Japanese death/doom band sounds like a heavily medicated Celtic Frost.

Grand Magus: Iron Will: The best album from 2008 is a traditional doom metal album.

Heaven and Hell: The Devil You Know: The second Black Sabbath lineup reincarnated can still bring the doom.

High on Fire: Death is this Communion: Sludgy, dirty doom with thrash metal influences from a former member of Sleep.

Novembers Doom: The Novella Reservoir: Sullen, dreary doom metal from Chicago giants.

Reverend Bizarre: II-Crush the Insects: Trad doom throwbacks speed things up early then revert to agonizingly slow, long dirges.

Swallow the Sun: The Morning Never Came: Eerily beautiful but leaves the listener with a sense of dread and hopeless isolation.

Syrach: Days of Wrath: Norwegian doom metal that is catchy, haunting, and terrifying.

The Gates of Slumber: Conqueror: Great traditional doom metal that sounds like Sabbath and Candlemass in a blender.

Ranking the 2009 Albums

I am back from a little bit of a hiatus imposed by bad weather conditions. Here is a final ranking of the 2009 metal albums, from my favorite to my least favorite. This is just a list, I didn't feel like commenting much:

Destroyer 666: Defiance

Razor of Occam: Homage to Martyrs
God Dethroned: Passiondale
Goatwhore: Carving Out the Eyes of God
Cauldron: Chained to the Nite
Seance: Awakening of the Gods
Dawn of Azazel: Relentless
Amorphis: Skyforger
Heaven and Hell: The Devil You Know
Thanatos: Justified Genocide
Revocation: Existence is Futile
Skeletonwitch: Breathing the Fire
Vader: Necropolis
Absu: Absu
Tribulation: The Horror
Asphyx: Death...The Brutal Way
Immortal: All Shall Fall
Hypocrisy: A Taste of Extreme Divinity
Behemoth: Evangelion
Havok: Burn
Archgoat: The Light-Devouring Darkness
Old Man's Child: Slaves to the World
Thornafire: Vorex Deconstruccion
Nile: Those Whom the Gods Detest
Bloodsoaked: Sadistic Deeds...Grotesque Memories
Suffocation: Blood Oath
Obscura: Cosmogenesis
Rumpelstiltskin Grinder: Living for Death, Destroying the Rest
Kreator: Hordes of Chaos
Megadeth: Endgame
Warbringer: Waking Into Nightmares
Stratovarius: Polaris
Alice in Chains: Black Gives Way to Blue
Napalm Death: Time Waits for No Slave
Slayer: World Painted Blood
Novembers Doom: Into Night's Requiem Infernal
Dreaming Dead: Within One
Jungle Rot: What Horrors Await
The Gates of Slumber: Hymns of Blood and Thunder
Destruktor: Nailed
Destroy Destroy Destroy: Battle Sluts
Lion's Share: Dark Hours
Ahab: The Divinity of Oceans
Cannibal Corpse: Evisceration Plague
Dying Fetus: Descend Into Depravity
Devourment: Unleash the Carnivore
My Dying Bride: For Lies I Sire
Grave Digger: Ballads of a Hangman
The Black Dahlia Murder: Deflorate
Mantic Ritual: Executioner
Obituary: Darkest Day
HOD: Serpent
Believer: Gabriel
Saxon: Into the Labyrinth
Leif Edling: Songs of Torment, Songs of Joy
God Forbid: Earthsblood

About.com Best Metal of 2009

How do you become the official blogger for some of these sites? I'm opiniated. I'm outspoken. How do I get someone to pay me for my opinions? I suppose that's the line of business I'm in, what with being a lawyer and all.

Anyway, that brings us to About.com. They have their own heavy metal page. Weird, huh?

http://heavymetal.about.com/od/bestof2009/tp/2009bestheavymetalcds.htm

Here's their Top 20:

20. Anaal Nathrakh: In the Constellation of the Black Widow
19. Ashyx: Death...The Brutal Way
18. Coalesce: Ox
17. Candlemass: Death Magic Doom
16. Immortal: All Shall Fall
15. Amorphis: Skyforger
14. The Gates of Slumber: Hymns of Blood and Thunder
13. Katatonia: Night is the New Day
12. Goatwhore: Carving Out the Eyes of God
11. Revocation: Existence is Futile
10. Brutal Truth: Evolution Through Revolution
9. Slayer: World Painted Blood
8. Baroness: Blue Record
7. Between the Buried and Me: The Great Misdirect
6. Isis: Wavering Radiant
5. Sunn O))): Monoliths and Dimensions
4. Napalm Death: Time Waits for No Slave
3. Nile: Those Whom the Gods Detest
2. Megadeth: Endgame
1. Mastodon: Crack the Skye

Actually a pretty good list. I don't agree with #s 5-7 at all. I tried listening to BTBAM yesterday and was bored out of my mind. Lame. Everything else is pretty decent. Plus, hey no Converge this time. Weird. This is probably the last Best of 2009 list I will do unless there is something really awful. Mine is coming soon.

Pop Matters Top 20 of 2009

So here's another one. I have never heard of this site before but looking at it when examining their list leads me to believe this is a general pop culture website. Duh, from the name of the site. I probably should have seen that one coming, huh?

Anyway, I had my doubts about this one, expecting mainstream acts. I was pleasantly surprised. It's not great, I do disagree with a lot of it, but there's some decent stuff on here.

http://www.popmatters.com/pm/column/116964-the-best-metal-albums-of-2009/P0/

20. Revocation: Existence is Futile
19. Cannibal Corpse: Evisceration Plague
18. Krallice: Dimensional Breakthrough
17. Marduk: Wormblood
16. Liturgy: Renihilation
15. Nile: Those Whom the Gods Detest
14. Between the Buried and Me: The Great Misdirect
13. Mastodon: Crack the Skye
12. Slayer: World Painted Blood
11. YOB: The Great Cessation
10. Funeral Mist: Maranatha
9. Isis: Wavering Radiant
8. Amesoeurs: Amesoeurs
7. Sunn O))): Monoliths and Dimensions
6. Goatwhore: Carving Out the Eyes of God
5. Kylesa: Static Tensions
4. Baroness: Blue Record
3. Converge: Axe to Fall
2. Katatonia: Night is the New Day
1. Cobalt: Gin

Again, this is not a list I agree with 100% but it's not bad. There's a lot of hipsterish stuff on it (Sunn O))), Kylesa, Converge, Mastodon, Isis, Amesoeurs, etc.). I do like the inclusions of groups like Goatwhore, Revocation, Nile, Cannibal Corpse, Slayer, and Marduk. Goatwhore will definitely be in my Top 10. I haven't determined anything else yet.

My list will be ready shortly, probably closer to the end of the year.

Noisecreep's Top 10 of 2009

I suppose I will start looking at some of the lists of best metal albums for 2009. Mine will be ready here pretty soon along with a Year in Review post. In the meantime, I like to look at what others think and ridicule them. Because it makes me feel big. So there. Anyone who takes offense, who cares?

So here we go (http://www.noisecreep.com/2009/11/23/top-10-albums-of-2009/):
Mastodon: Crack the Skye
Suffocation: Blood Oath
Behemoth: Evangelion
Coalesce: Ox
Megadeth: Endgame
Converge: Axe to Fall
Alice in Chains: Black Gives Way to Blue
Swallow the Sun: New Moon
Immortal: All Shall Fall
Between the Buried and Me: The Great Misdirect

I'm not sure if that list is in any sort of order or not. Some of the list does not bother me, other albums do. Mastodon, Between the Buried and Me, Converge, and Coalesce will appear on virtually everyone's Best of 2009 list. Except mine. Because I don't like any of those albums. Bwah hah hah hah. I'm disturbed that Swallow the Sun's new album is the same name as the recent Twilight movie abomination. I have not heard it yet, which is weird because I love the band. I'm not sure any of these albums will appear on my list quite honestly. Not to say I don't enjoy any of them, just not enough to be my favorite albums of the year.

MSN Top 100 Metal Albums of the Decade

There's something about the end of the year/decade that brings out the listmaker in people. I should know, I do it too. But whereas my taste in music is unimpeachable, other people put together horrible lists of bad music. Which brings us to MSN, and if there is any other source that has more expertise in metal than MSN, I don't wanna know about it. Or maybe I do, I dunno, whichever choice is funnier.

So, MSN put together this list and there are some pretty decent choices here, some weird choices, typical choices, and awful ones. I won't go through the whole list because there's 100 albums, but let's put them into nifty categories:

WEIRD CHOICES
-Annihilation Time
-Intronaut
-Spawn of Possession
-Megadeth: Endgame: This one is brand new. I don't think it's good enough to make this kind of list, so this is odd.
-Dragon Force
-Obscura
-Brain Drill
-The Sword

STANDARD CHOICES
-Slayer
-Gojira
-Pantera
-Isis
-Meshuggah
-Mastodon: Leviathan (the #1 album, no big surprise here)
-Metallica

GOOD CHOICES
-Wolf
-Bolt Thrower
-Prostitue Disfigurement
-Strapping Young Lad
-Confessor
-Behemoth
-Psycroptic
-Lair of the Minotaur
-The Gates of Slumber

BAD CHOICES
-Dir En Grey
-Blessed by a Broken Heart: Awful band blending metalcore and hair metal into one horrible mess.
-Sunn O)))
-Slipknot: duh
-Job for a Cowboy
-Rob Zombie: Educated Horses: This was the album that caused me to stop listening to Rob Zombie, also NFM.
-Rammstein
-Deftones (sigh, why is it that every metal writer loves this damn album?)

This is the best such list I have seen so far, other than mine. There's a lot of bands that have not appeared on these types of lists on this one. There are a few of the choices I can't stand such as Sunn O))), Deftones, and Isis, but it is made up for by the unusual choices. Not bad, still not as good as mine though.