Two days ago, the nominees for Revolver's 2010 Golden Gods award show were announced. Last year was a clusterfuck. Let's see if they can make it worse:
Lemmy Kilmister of Motorhead will receive the Lifetime Achievement Award. This is something I can agree with as Motorhead has been around for a long time now and were one of the early popular metal bands.
Rob Halford will receive the Golden God Award. Again, this is well-received as Halford has fronted Judas Priest for most of their albums and has also been in Fight and Halford, two underrated metal bands.
Performing will be Rob Zombie, Fear Factory, As I Lay Dying, The Devil Wears Prada, and an all star band picked by Brian Posehn, the nerdy mail clerk from Just Shoot Me. Zakk Wylde will also perform. Ugh. Rob Zombie really hasn't been good in years and The Devil Wears Prada is fucking awful. The rest of the stuff is just mediocre.
Hosts will be Andrew W.K. and Chris Jericho, the wrestler that also sings for Fozzy. Ugh again.
And now for the nominees:
Kirk Hammett (Metallica)
Tony Iommi (Heaven & Hell)
Tom Morello (Rage Against the Machine, Street Sweeper Social Club)
Dave Mustaine (Megadeth)
Zakk Wylde (Black Label Society)
THOUGHTS: Did Tom Morello release anything this last year? Kirk Hammett? Slash? Wylde? What's the standard for getting a nomination? My pick is Mustaine.
Chris Adler (Lamb of God)
Brann Dailor (Mastodon)
Dave Grohl (Them Crooked Vultures)
Gene Hoglan (Dethklok, Fear Factory)
Dave Lombardo (Slayer)
Jimmy “The Rev” Sullivan (Avenged Sevenfold)
THOUGHTS: "The Rev" was only nominated because he died recently, so he'll probably win despite being mediocre. Hoglan or Lombardo better win.
Jonathan Davis (Korn)
Ronnie James Dio (Heaven & Hell)
Neil Fallon (Clutch)
Lzzy Hale (Halestorm)
Serj Tankian (Serj Tankian, System Of A Down)
Corey Taylor (Slipknot, Stone Sour)
THOUGHTS:Awful list. Dio is the only decent choice here.
ALBUM OF THE YEAR
Alice in Chains, Black Gives Way to Blue
Heaven & Hell, The Devil You Know
Mastodon, Crack the Skye
Slayer, World Painted Blood
Them Crooked Vultures, Them Crooked Vultures
THOUGHTS: I'm sure Mastodon will win, but would like to see it go to Megadeth, Heaven & Hell, or Slayer. Them Crooked Vultures? Really?
BEST LIVE BAND
The Devil Wears Prada
Lamb of God
THOUGHTS:What the fuck? The Devil Wears Prada? C'mon Metallica or Slayer.
BEST UNDERGROUND BAND
Between the Buried and Me
The Black Dahlia Murder
The Dillinger Escape Plan
THOUGHTS:None of these bands are underground. Again, my definition of underground is a band you can't find at Best Buy. None of these bands qualify. I'm pretty sure Converge is only on here because every other metal magazine drools all over them. I doubt Revolver has ever heard of them. My pick is Behemoth.
MOST METAL ATHLETE
Josh Barnett (MMA fighting)
Marc Colombo, Cory Procter, and Leonard Davis (NFL football)
Chris Jericho (WWE wrestling)
Mike Piazza (MLB baseball)
Jason Ellis (Pro skateboarding)
Jolene Van Vugt (Pro motocrosser)
HOTTEST CHICK(S) IN METAL
Pearl Aday (Pearl)
Maria Brink (In This Moment)
Lzzy Hale (Halestorm)
Lacey Mosley (Flyleaf)
Alexia & Anissa Rodriguez (Eyes Set to Kill)
Cristina Scabbia (Lacuna Coil)
THOUGHTS: This should go to my fiancee, but those bastards did not nominate her. It's gotta be Scabbia from these choices right?
COMEBACK OF THE YEAR
Alice in Chains
Heaven & Hell
THOUGHTS: Alice in Chains should be the favorite here due to length of absence, circumstances, etc. I could see an argument for Fear Factory, since they sorta broke up, and Heaven & Hell. Anvil never went anywhere, ever. Therefore, they had nothing to come back to. AC/DC has been churning out the same album for years, it wasn't that long ago that they released their last one. I don't give a fuck about Kiss.
So there you have it. Yikes. It's not as bad as last year, but there aren't any really compelling choices there either. Revolver still fucking sucks.