Friday, June 5, 2009

The Reaper Playlist

I don't say much about my personal life, but decided it was time for something. My girlfriend and I have a blue heeler puppy. Due to his ferocious personality, he has been named Reaper, or better yet, The Reaper. Out of pure lack of anything better to do one afternoon, I scoured the Metal Archives for some of the best songs with The Reaper's name in it. Just to put together his own personal playlist or soundtrack. I have not heard all of these songs, the only criteria was that the name of the song had to include "Reaper". So without further ado, the terrifying soundtrack to The Reaper:

1. Angus McDeth: Fresh Corpse for the Reaper: The Reaper hasn't quite figured out he's a carnivore at this point, although he has been a constant headache for the cats and the other dogs.
2. Anticosm: Here Comes the Reaper: Cover your face, he tends to go for it and he can jump.
3. As Dusk Unfolds: Behold, the Reaper: And all of his smelly, horrible glory!
4. Autumnal Reaper: March of the Reaper: He doesn't march so much as trot.
5. Children of Bodom: Follow the Reaper: It's best to keep your eyes on him at all times in order to avoid him launching himself into your crotch.
6. Crucified Mortals: The Reaper’s Blade: Thankfully, The Reaper is not armed.
7. Dark Illusion: Reaper of Souls: Your soul will belong to The Reaper.
8. Dissection: Soulreaper: See above.
9. Hell-Born: We Bring the Reaper: Hopefully we leave him with you so he will leave us alone.
10. Hellhammer: Reaper: Simple, direct, Hellhammer.
11. Helvetets Port: Killed by a Reaper: It's a long, slow, painful death.
12. Horrid Corpse: Grim is the Reaper: Actually, happy and stupid is The Reaper.
13. Key of Mythras: Hail the Reaper: It's best not to do so, he already has a massive ego.
14. Loudness: Call of the Reaper: It's a shrill, high-pitched bark, not difficult to miss.
15. Mendeed: The Reaper Waits: Hopefully for food.
16. Mr. Jumbo: The Reaper was Faster: Damn straight. Running does no good.
17. Nifelheim: Storm of the Reaper: More of a pout than a storm.
18. Onward: Feast for the Reaper: Ah, puppy food.
19. Psilocybin: Reaper Attack!: Thankfully we have not taught him this command, he picked i up on his own.
20. Reapers Domain: Domain of the Reaper: It's a small kennel, occasionally with blankets that he likes to destroy.
21. Runemagick: Return of the Reaper: Damnit.
22. Sabbat: Possession of the Reaper: Probably already done, not sure though.
23. Satani Infernalis: The Reaper’s Stare: He's not great at maintaining eye contact, he is a puppy.
24. Six Feet Under: Shadow of the Reaper: He's about a foot and a half high, so it's not much of a shadow.
25. Soulreaper: Godless Reaper of Souls: See #8.
26. Sweet Sorrow: The Solitary Reaper: He's only solitary because he pisses all the other animals off all the time.
27. Wolf: (Don’t Fear) The Reaper: BOC cover, but still. You should fear The Reaper.

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